So When Does "No" Mean Yes? And Consent
This post applies to men, women, and those of all sexual orientations. The "me too" movement is often associated with just women. And, it's simply not the case. It applies to all people, sexual orientations, races, etc.
I've had my share of legitimate me too moments. Ten years ago I was married and my ex husband and his best friend raped me. Several other men have forced themselves upon me and you just freeze knowing you weren't ready and....it just happens. Years ago I was more naive. I let them get away with it.
Things have changed. Recently, I being single met a guy at bar and was tipsy enough not to safely drive but not tipsy enough not be be 100% oriented to time, place, & person.
I went home with him. A sexual act occurred that I said "NO" to REPEATEDLY. He forced it and did it anyway. Then left to feed a friend's dog. By that time he got back, I had sobered up and ask for a ride back to my car. He refused. I walked 5 miles at 2AM to get back which was a hazard to me. I am short on money and couldn't afford a cab/ uber/ etc.
I thought about it for a while and decided to at least have a free consultation with a lawyer. And we will see how that goes.
Teach your kids about consent. Consent is no longer consent when the other person has said "no" and/or is no longer enjoying the experience. I would be glad to hear your input on this. Not looking for pity rather a discussion on consent. I'm not a parent but I think many parents just teach about the "birds and the bees" and not actual consent. It is very important to teach about both.
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No is always no
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Absolutely!
Sorry to hear of your experiences No is Always NO and anybody who does not accept that is a piece of .....
Thanks for this great post and being an active member of @steemusa !tip
Yes he is a piece of ...... that. Thanks for the input
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I am very sorry about your experiences.
However, telling a person that stealing is a crime doesn't help.
They know theft is wrong.
Putting up fliers in school saying to get help if you are considering suicide,
increases the rates of suicide
Telling men that "no means no", what do you think it actually does?
What happens is that the good men DON'T EVEN ASK
50% of young men didn't have ANY sexual encounters last year.
Nice guys finish last? Nope, they don't even finish at all.
So, what happens with "no means no"?
You get good men staying away, and so your chances of meeting a bad man goes up dramatically.
And currently, in our legal system
Women can not legally say yes.
So, when more men figure that out, ALL of the good men will just stay away. And you get the exact opposite of what you want.
Very insightful answer sorry my upvote doesn't count more. I find that stat on the young men and sex hard to believe. I find it bull shit that women and men can't have EQUAL experiences with sex. I had already said no long before he started and several times throughout.
Wow. Shocking thoughts. Thanks for your insights.
I am so sorry to hear this, Chelsea. because you haven't had quite enough already, right? Seriously speaking, did you even need to ask?
No means No!!!
There is no other answer to that question. I would have been tempted to call a policeman for a ride home and reported it as well. I mean, basically, it is rape if it is without consent. So you should have gone to the hospital so they could do a rape kit on you.
Right?
Right about now, my head is doing a Linda Blair/Exorcist move because I am that irritated. I hope he used protection, not to be so blunt, but, I worry about all those little STD's etc and the obvious.
My prayers go out to you. My dad always gave me money to call him, even when phones were available. Sheesh. According to my dad, No means No. And he taught that to all 6 of my brothers.
Has respect taken a train to the West Coast?
!tip
Agreed and hindsite is always 20/20 my mind was unclear which will not help my case if it even goes anywhere. I did report it to his place of employment and more importantly to a lawyer that takes free consultations and spent about 45 minutes with me.
I know I'm just an ole f'in geezer but it might be time to consider abandoning alcohol in public spheres...Okay, I'll STFU now:P
I hadn't done anything like that in YEARS actually. So you're right. It's ashame tho
This may or may not help out with a new alcohol ethos:P
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Sorry this happened to you.
No means no!
And yes, children do need to be taught about consent.
I do think there is one gray area in all this (which clearly didn't apply to you) - but you asked...
That gray area (our daughters need to be taught about) is where the woman leads him on all the way to bed, then suddenly "changes her mind" and balks. Yes, "no means no" - but really???
There are also women who "play" with the word "no" - and give us all a bad name.
We need to work together ladies! If "no means no" - make sure it always means "no" for you - and make sure it's "no" throughout. Not a sudden stop at the end which the guy may or may not understand or believe...
I hope this isn't too harsh or controversial... that's not my intention.
Seriously many men are pigs tbh. Dont know what the percentage is, but it then ruins things for the rest of us nice guys. Very sorry.
I cant vote this but will vote your most recent post.