Movie review: Trump vs Illuminati - my favorite movie of all times

in #humor2 months ago


It is the animated science fiction action flick parody. It has the aliens, AI, clones, van Helsing, Crowley, Anubis, Hell, space battles, and I have to tell you that shit is totally enjoyable. I mean yes it is obviously a parody, but a fairly very good one.

Far more interesting than Lost in Ass and Hitchhiker's Fudge together ( Lost in Space and Hitchhiker's Guide respectively).

Some people say that the Trump impersonation is so bad, you simply have to hear/see it, it will legit make you laugh how much it sucks. I think it is good.

Lip sync is out of sync because obviously it is a homage to all the old movies ... ever watched older Jet Li movies... no? ... aw too bad. Well, if you did, then you will understand why they did it. You still don't!? Well fuck.

The movie is not dumb or anything, it just spoofs everything and makes it useless to the limit there is no more. It spoofs everything we hold important, and I think it is ingenious to make it this shitty - because at this point of a human evolution - when we have tech, and knowledge and all that shit, we still chose to value so many dumb useless things.

We basically do not deserve any better than this to show us what kind of a garbage the whole thing is. Is it only me to find a whole universe of meaningful crap in the movie that is basically unwatchable by everyone else?

Also, I think it is crucial to understand how entertainment takes too much of a power that could be used elsewhere - and this is actually what you get.

I know this sort of a "failed" movie is obnoxious to all movie fans, a child with PC could do better effects and your deaf grandmother could do better Trump impersonation and all that shit taken out of the contest - in fact there are many great scenes - but that's not the point.

It is because all those people think it is so damn important, but for me it is peak performance to shit on that in this way.

Back to the animation, I am all for the good effects and this movie has a lot of compelling and even reward competing works. Movie like this, that is able to entertain me, takes a lot of creativity. Usually I just watch the movies without much interest and this one is definitely different.

I admit, probably you have to have a notorious kind of crazy scientist mind with reality bent IQ that makes you a real fucking bio-hazard element to environment so you could possibly enjoy in this sort of the bizarre thing, but - no regrets.

They didn't put the disclaimer "watch on weed" so I think that is it. If you think it can help, watch it stoned, but I doubt it, you have to be born a cookie.

I am sure you want top performing actors, meaningful story line and all those special effects, but for what - a bunch of losers pretending they chase aliens? Because that is exactly what it is.

I couldn't stop laughing, a movie is a fucking masterpiece. I never thought it would be possible, but this one took a title of my favorite movie of all times.

The most ridiculous detail are the action scenes - I know how I like all those action scenes - but the characters fist fights and throw knives like they don’t have any advanced weapons. Kick in the nuts is considered top notch move.

Also I think that anyone normal will lose their shit when they hear Sasquatch talking about the potato salad.

I don't know what the hell the Sasquatch is even doing there, but there he is, obviously he outlived the humans.

A human fabrication outliving a specie has that flavor to it. I don't know. Something like this never existed, but now it does, because it is so damn ancient. People start believing things just because they outlived the creators, it is just crazy. It makes no sense at all.

Outlived, because most of the characters are either robots, aliens or monsters. The remaining humans are all the clones. There is no original material anywhere.

With that said Trump character is not Donald Trump, but his Chinese clone which is by the way - spoiler alert - immortal. And he is dead ass bored by it.

75% of speech is cursing and mad creepisms, I say it could be more cursing if you ask me but even with this it is enjoyable and feels like a natural ambient for me.

The fact that even the thousand years in the future humans can't make an original joke but rely on escapism and rusty antics capable of giving you a mental tetanus if you listen it too much is kind of tragic.

Also, no colony on planet Mars. I guess that part of a plan took a wrong turn. But there are a lot of tech stuff stranded there so I guess they gave that idea a shadow of a doubt.

Anyway, while a movie progresses into some wild geese chase around Illuminati domination, you realize that in the ultimate end there is no point of meaning to the whole movie. It conveys no real message and that is the funniest, because you really start kind of to respect all the effort around the idea.

It is kind of a ... a bullshit never stops thing, and it is entertaining, but I guess to a being who reached the immortality just because it is definitely not funny.

Another not so funny but hey-this-is-parody-moment is that they chose Dubai for the entrance to Hell in the movie.

Now, all the super smart reviews about this movie said how bad it is, I find it quite opposite. The fact they just slap it right on Dubai shows a complete level of don't-give-a-flying-fuck attitude, because let's be honest, whatever place you chose unless it is I don't Antarctica, it would hurt someone's feelings - and then if you do chose Antarctica, everyone would like to know - WHERE EXACTLY?

So, I am perfectly cool with Dubai. It makes a perfect sense to me.

I mean if you are perfectly cool with minuscule frog eating green alien, even if it is a freaking baby Yoda, what a fuck is so wrong with a guy in a space suit? You rather relate to that green shit? Fine with me.

AI serves all parties alike, which makes it not an ultimate enemy but an ultimate opportunist, no feelings, no remorse, nothing. I think it is possibly more suitable to ploy beings with some sort of a this-is-so-damn-important-you-have-to-do-it shit, than to be a means to an end of humanity or even the aliens. In fact the robots are everywhere, and somehow these poor fucks don't see the sad truth in that.

Humans beings are designed and cloned in machines, their souls peeled from the embryos and used to rise Devil from the Hell ... or used for some other nefarious purpose.

Insane, but possibly used for whatever is thought out as necessary.

Devil is an alien in a wheelchair, which makes it even more pathetic and Crowley is a gray power hungry alien who thinks of himself as a demi-god equal to Anubis.

The bets part, the Anubis approves it. To his voice over, Trump's is a fucking lullaby.

The end of the movie is a complete piece of garbage. Nothing really happens beside the Shark man, Terminator, Reptilians, whole army of monsters answer the call of the Devil and head to the battle. Including Jack O'lantern the Saw style.

I can only tell you, they really made an effort.

Movie reviews

They are fairly hard to find buried under the mountain of political garbage so I get them all out for you. There is not much of it, because the people didn't want to do any.