Dealing with Opposition as Home Educators - @HomeEdders Challenge
This is my response to the challenge question asked by @minismallholding under the @homeedders account:
Have you had to deal with opposition while homeschooling? If so how did you handle it?
We’ve been homeschooling for seven years and have had our share of dealing with opposition and skeptics. Oh and guess what? All of it was from our very own family. Yes, sad but true. At the very beginning we didn’t have a lot of support from our family because they were too busy wondering
what the heck are y’all doing?
My family knew I was going to be an educator but they thought it would be for the school district. That was the plan at first being I went to college for it, but things changed once I got pregnant with our first child. I was convicted that instead of teaching other children and leaving my child to do so all day, I should be at home teaching her myself. So that’s what I did and have been doing so with all of our children since then.
I spent a long time wasting my energy trying to convince and prove to our family that we were making the right decision for our children. God gave us stewardship over them and has equipped us to be well capable of teaching them. I finally came to the conclusion that you can’t convince people you just have to let them see. You know the saying,
the proof is in the pudding!
My family had a way of “testing” our children to see what and how well they were learning. They would ask the kids questions (math, life, common sense etc.) and we would step back as proud parents and let them do their thing. They were amazed by the answers they gave and how well they could even comprehend some of the questions. It was a matter of ‘show and not tell’ and that’s exactly how we began approaching the opposition. We just let them see for themselves that our children were learning just fine at home.
One of the main attacks we received was that our kids wouldn’t get the socialization they needed that they normally get in a public school setting. We have five children that talks to one another, plays together, helps each other, learns together and that learn from one another. Don’t tell me our kids are suffering from not being able to socialize. Their communication skills are just fine. Is there a magical number of how many kids need to be present for them to actual have socialization? It’s really silly once you think about it.
When we leave the house for field trips they make friends everywhere they go and socialize with all age groups from babies to elders. My family is amazed at how well each of our children, even our three year old, can hold a conversation with anyone. They ask questions, respectfully correct others if they hear something that needs correcting and are not afraid to speak their minds and voice their concerns and opinions. We are raising our children to be strong minded independent respectful individuals that are capable of doing things for themselves.
My nine year old gets up early and cooks breakfast for her siblings. She knows how to make them oatmeal and toast or grilled cheese sandwiches. She wants to learn how to make eggs next. I know some soon to be teenagers that don’t even have a clue on how to cook anything for themselves. Our kids are constantly learning life skills all day and that is by watching us, there parents, and being curious of how things are done.
I’ll go into more details about why we chose to homeschool in another post.
You can share statistics, invite naysayers over during your class time to witness the learning, and even host an evening program showcasing your child’s skills and talents. However, in my opinion I don’t think it’s necessary. I don’t think we should spend our energy on proving these things to others. We have every right to make the decision on how our children will be educated. Stand firm on what you believe and be confident in what you are doing for your kids.
As of today, everyone in our family that had doubts or that didn’t understand why we chose to homeschool are now advocates for it! One of the main naysayers is now promoting homeschool on her Facebook page, she brags to her friends about how smart our children are and how well they are doing. She says all the time
You all have opened my eyes, I now see the benefits of your decision.
Other members in our family have decided to homeschool as well. We support one another and share ideas and tips that we have learned along the way and it is has been very encouraging.
Just letting them see the results is all we did and it didn’t take any extra effort on our part. We just continued on as usual and let it happen naturally as they came around us and interacted with our kids.
We’d love to hear how you have dealt with opposition of any sort. To view the full question please visit HomeEdders. Who We Are and a Challenge for Home Educators.. After making your post please paste your link in the comment section in the above post. There is Steem and SBI Shares up for grabs for our favorite posts :)
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I'm surprised you met so much opposition when you had studied to teach. I know a lot of people get asked if they are teachers when they say they homeschool and you pretty much are! 😆
Lol I know right! Well one thing is I didn’t go all the way. I was a little shy of receiving my teaching degree when I decided to stop (I’ll explain more in my next post). The other thing was they didn’t doubt I could teach them, they were just so programmed to think the only option for me to teach was in a school “building” and for our kids to actually have the experience to ride the bus, have multiple teachers, make school friends etc. They thought we were depriving them of the experiences they needed. They were never introduced to this way of learning/teaching, it was foreign to them.
Thankfully they finally see the benefits of home education and have witnessed how enriching it has been for our whole family.
An interesting read and a story of how well home schooling can be We did not homeschool ours but tats not because we had anything against homeschooling it just was not the right decision for us at the time, but i do have friends who are homeschooling their kids and in every case I know of I personally think there kids are doing so much better than kids i see going to schools
Perhaps if we had our kids now and not 30+ years ago we may have done differently
Thank you so much for your response. That’s really encouraging to know you have noticed the difference.
There are so many different reasons people decide to homeschool and every family had to decide if it was right for them. Everyone shouldn’t be put under one box and told one way is the only way. Every child is different and should be taught in a way that is best for their learning style.
Ohh yes i totally agree I think with so many things including home schooling there is never one right way to do anything and its up to an individual r family to decide what is the best way for them
Have a great day
Absolutely! That is so true, it’s the same way with many other things as well.
Thank you! You have a great one as well ~
Cheers:)
First, I love this post, well written.
Second, an off-topic observation: that is an unusual pencil grasp in the headliner photo for this article, did you take the photo? I notice these things as an OT, but also because I grasp my pencil in this way (instead of the typical tripod grasp.)
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Thank you so much for the positive feedback.
Wow you are very observing! Yes I took this photo of my daughter. She grasps her pencil this way and writes in this position all the time :)
She was happy to hear you do so as well :D
I always did, and since I learned to write at a young age and can draw pretty well I was very resistant to anyone telling me to change it. I only taught myself to use a tripod grasp when I became an OT and wanted to be able to demonstrate tripod grasp for others.
When you hold a pencil the way we do, you get more stability and feedback from the pencil because it rests on your largest thumb joint. You might lose fine manual control in that position if you hold it stiffly, but I don't and I'll bet she doesn't either. The only drawback is fatigue if I write a lot - we're generally using more pressure than most people.
It points to someone who likes a lot of feedback from her body. I was always active in dance, gymnastics, and now martial arts. That doesn't mean I was naturally coordinated, but I just loved using my body and still do.
When I saw that she was comfortable with that grip I was nervous it would affect her writing but she writes just as normal as anyone else.
Okay...you may have helped her with something. When she writes for awhile
(particularly cursive writing) she starts complaining how tired she is and that she can’t write any more. I always think she’s just trying to get out of her writing lesson (she’s not fond of cursive writing right now). She’ll lay both arms out on the table and rest her head and tells me she needs to take a break. This explains why she seems exhausted when doing her writing lessons.
Wow, I’m so glad you came to visit and shared this with me. Thank you! I will be more sensitive to her needing breaks in between :)
Hey @crosheille when I tell people that I want to Homeschool my children I get really strange looks like I have grown a horn or something. So yeah I can understand the part about being tired of explaining yourself. LOL! I can't wait till I really can do that for my kiddos. Now I still have to work full time and settle some stuff.
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Lol! Yes although it is getting more popular it is still out of the norm to homeschool.
I know a few other mamas that want to home educate but can’t because of work situations. I hope you are able to do it someday like you hope. 🧡
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I think the school system today create copy of a copy. Mostly children and adults who are having hard time thinking critically. Today's education is destroying creativity in kids. There are exceptions of course.
We are educating kids today to be dependent on somebody always instead of giving them knowledge so they take care of themselves in every situation. I love that your kids cook for themselves. I think you are doing an amazing job with your kids. 😀
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Thank you so much for your response. The school system is setup as if everyone learns the same and at the same pace. Students succeed so much better when things are taught according to their learning styles and at a pace that is comfortable for them. It gets me how sitting in a classroom is considered a better learning environment than learning hands on and exploring the world around us.
Thank you! We are raising our kids to be hard workers and not lazy dependents. This generation today is so handicap in a sense of not knowing how to take care of themselves and it’s so sad.
Its amazing how varied the responses are when you tell people you homeschool. You get anything from 'wow, I think that's great!!' to all manner of criticism, or even just the disgusted sounding 'Oh...' with the eyebrows raised, you know what I mean?
I have been happily surprised though, at the random stranger's response. 9 times out of 10, they actually give me positive feedback, saying how great it is, and how terrible today's school systems are, and some even know someone or have relatives who homeschool as well. It is definitely getting more and more popular.
I find that teachers tend to be offended by homeschoolers though. Ive had several instances where a teacher finds out we homeschool, and they seem to take it as a personal insult and generally dont want anything else to do with us...
People are funny. :)
"What, you think you can do a better job than a professional? Oh, and you did? Harrumph!"
😄
Haha yes I definitely know what you mean about that eyebrow raise response!
I get surprised at the positive comments I receive too. We have had several strangers commend us on what we’re doing, it’s refreshing when we get those.
Oh yes, a couple of my friends are teachers and they try to hide it or disguise it but they do get offended just knowing we homeschool. I don’t understand why they take offense, we’re just doing what we feel is best for our kids. I laugh inside when they ask me questions about what they’re learning or how is our school going. I can’t help but to think there’s more behind those questions.
Remember, the best form of social interaction and personal development is segregating kids by age and putting them through 12 years of regimented school schedules. Who needs spontenaety, travel, intergenerational interaction, or self-direction?
Haha loved this comment! The sad part is many people really think that is the best way.
Thanks for stopping in :)
I was homeschooled, and now as a librarian I see many homeschoolers using our resources to provide creative and dynamic educations to their kids. The homeschooled kids are far more likely to have good interpersonal skills, and their interest in learning is far more active.
Yes, there are outliers, students who have learning disabilities, parents who fail to educate, and kids who struggle with certain subjects, but it's not like public schools are overcoming student challenges like this. The critics want to disregard empirical data while also holding homeschoolers to a higher standard than the status quo can even meet.
As a general rule, the kids who swarm in when school lets out are sullen and dull. They wheedle and whine. They lack respect for boundaries. They only want the library because we have computers they can use for online gaming. This is overgeneralizing, I know, but the homeschooled kids tend to be capable of conversing, and like to share ideas. There is a marked contrast in the average example.
Wow! I can imagine the many behaviors and characteristics you can point out in both homeschooled and public schooled children. That’s awesome that you were homeschooled. Sometimes when I’m teaching my kids I have these thoughts wishing my parents homeschooled us. They weren’t aware of the resources back then or the positive impact it would have made on our lives. But I wouldn’t be who I am today if I didn’t go through all of those experiences in a public school. I also probably wouldn’t be as passionate about homeschooling if I didn’t know what it was like in a public school. I’m just glad I am able to give my children a different experience.
Yes it’s so funny how we are held to a higher standard, many people don’t want to see homeschooling as a mainstream option. Well too bad for them because more and more people are starting to hop onboard and pull their children out of school to teach them at home.
When we go out in public we get a lot of stares and I’ll tell you why. We have had so many people and or couples come up to us in a restaurant or a store and say along these lines
Or they will say
So we give them the answer that it helps that they have both parents in the home working together to train and discipline and they are homeschooled. It’s a nice opportunity to promote what we’re doing :)
I did attend public school briefly, and it was literally a psychologically scarring experience in some respects.
On one occasion I was the New Kid in a classroom full of out-of-towners who needed to feel superior to someone. On one hand, I saw the absurdity of another 4th grader trying to make fun of me for reading books with no illustrations, but on the other hand, it still hurt. I also remember the music teacher pullong random names to reward kids, and those who misbehaved were disqualified. All year, I behaved myself, because I am not inclined to that sort of mischief, but I never got any reward. The kids who were scolded the before seemed to get multiple chances all year. It just felt too arbitrary. I also one commented to a vullybthat a friend was not a [insert racial epithet here],
and instead of being commended for standing up to a bully, I was the one reported to the principal's office for using that word. The i justice if the system was laid bare, even if I couldn't fully comprehend it then. I was also struggling even then with undiagnosed chronic illness.
My teachers were good people, and there were some fun activites in class, but on the whole I do not have fond memories of school. It felt even then like a waste of my time to be trapped in someone else's schedule. I also hated class reading. We read out loud from books, taking turns reading a sentence at a time. Most of my classmates stumbled along slowly. I got bored, even though the books themselves were often good.
It's interesting to lopk back and be better equipped.to articulate the frustrations I felt. I wasn't equipped yet with the perspective or vocabulary then. I just knew I was deeply dissatisfied with the experience and had no objection to being homeschooled again.
Wow you had quite an experience. That was an unfortunate case about you standing up to the bully and then being the one punished?! That makes no sense.
That’s one thing I appreciate about homeschooling is that my kids don’t have to be held back waiting on other students to catch up. I want them to be able to move at their own pace.
When I taught at daycare centers the discipline problem is what held back other kids that were well behaved and wanted to learn. I was so busy breaking up fights that I didn’t have time to teach. It was really sad and heart breaking when parents arrived to pick up their kids and I had to tell them we didn’t get through all of our lesson plans that day.