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RE: Question: "What's wrong?" / Answer: "I don't know."

in Home Edders2 months ago

What a great approach to simplify things and calm the turmoil. I wish I had been armed with some of your skills when my girls were growing up. We usually got there in the end, but my approach ended up being to just talk, even if it didn't make any sense and we'd work from there, because I know exactly what they mean when they say they can't explain what they're feeling.

@tipu curate


Your comment is important. I hope my post does not sound like I have everything together, all the time. I just wanted to share a single victory 😀

Parents need to remember ...

  • that they are on a journey with their children
  • that they will pick up new tools and skills along the way
  • that some tools and skills work might work well for one child and not another
  • that it is better to work through things ("even if it didn't make any sense") than to avoid it
  • that our children will learn a lot as they watch us learn and grow

Thanks for the comment and engagement!

Absolutely agree. Never a bad thing to gather more tools along the way, though. This is what I love about sharing in this group.

some tools and skills work might work well for one child and not another

This right here is so true and yet it can also cause that dreaded belief in favouritism between siblings. Each of our children can be so different. I always used to say of and to my girls that I loved them both dearly and equally, but they were different people, so they required different things. At nearly 20, my eldest finally realises what I meant. She'd envy the way I worked with her sister, purely because my approach was different, despite the fact that she always required more attention. She acknowledged to me the other day that those approaches weren't what she needed and wouldn't have worked for her.


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