When Will You Get Married?

Hello folks,

How's your weekend going?

I'm trying to post on the various groups each week to support the communities and engage more. Today, I come up with the idea to complain about..lol. Not because I have a bad day or I'm moody today 😄, just something to share and entertain 🤩

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When will you get married? This is the terrible question I've heard the most over the years. Oh man, every time I visit home, my family & the neighbors always keep asking me when I'm going to get married. It's so scary & annoying sometimes 😃 I often find excuses to avoid it because I don't know how to answer it... Many times I get angry but have to restrain. Okay, Calm creates nobility -.-

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For us, family is the most important part of life, so I understand why traditional Vietnamese want us to settle down and have a family early. They want to see their children being taken care of and loved. Many Vietnamese parents think: "Woman's role is to marry and give birth." I know, it's a different generation and mindset, but Mom & Dad never understand...!!!
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For someone who loves freedom like me, I still have no intention and thought of getting married. I've seen how many couples struggle to make a living or even quarrel with each other for economics, children, and many other problems. It makes me feel more afraid of married life even though I know many families are happy. When I say this to my friends, I am told: "when I have a baby, I will have a motivation to overcome everything in life." I see their point. Yeah, I will, but later not now, to be honest. 😊

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Not to mention, some friends of mine got married then had to deal with having a baby. Both sides of the family urged, the first one just finished giving birth to the second child...😆 Oh, I don't have the courage to think about that!

Later, maybe I will get married, but not now. I want to put myself first for now and live to the fullest. I feel that this world has many places that I have yet to go, many things that have not yet been discovered, and why not? Having complained that enough, I will ignore all concerns from people around me and enjoy my life as "I don't live my life to please others". 🙂

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Mom, I LOVE YOU, I'm forever your daughter, but I genuinely want to be free, independent & live my life on my own. 💖

Thanks for reading my complaint today. Hope you all have a great week ahead. 🤩



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40 comments
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great to hear the question is really common everywhere, and most of the people think that girls have to just married and give birth to babies and run the family thats it but sure the new generation is changed one and that is really great to hear.

yes there were many places that you not yet been discovered, and why not?
I love to see your more posts.
Thanks a lot for sharing your thoughts.

!giphy enjoy

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Thank you @bhattg, yeh we are facing the same problem in some countries in Asia. I'm glad to hear your opinion on it.
Have a beautiful week ahead :)

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Thank you for your engagement on this post, you have recieved ENGAGE tokens.

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Hang in there Trang! I am so sorry to hear you have to cope with this pressure. I think your mindset is absolutely right, no matter what others tell you. Here in Europe, most of young people (let´s say folks in their 20s and 30s) have the same opinions and wishes like you, it´s really normal and ok here. Haven´t you considered moving here? :)

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Thanks @phortun. It doesn't affect me anymore. I can't be mad at my parents as that's a way they love me and want me to be happy. Dad & Mom just stay home and never get out of the village so they don't know the world outside. I feel sympathetic for them more..:)
I think "Better late than marry wrong"
Hope you have a great week ahead

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(Edited)

When will you get married?
When will you have kid?
Why only one?
It never ends!

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Something in common here...hehe yeh never ends. I thought it will be different there...:)
Thanks for coming by and have a great week ahead :)

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Paraphrasing the quote "If you think you are too old to Rock 'n Roll then you probably are" I would say "If you're not sure if you're ready to marry or have kids then you probably aren't". It would be nice if people were considering having kids as a result of a functional chemistry with their other half therefore firstly focusing on the right person to share their life rather than a thing they have to do anyhow to avoid the "looser" tag. The latter is much more frequent than the former approach hence unhappy families is not a rarity.

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The latter is much more frequent than the former approach hence unhappy families is not a rarity.

I can't agree anymore.

I don't mind having a family and baby, just right time and right person :)

Thank you for dropping by and share your though, very much appreciated it :)

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Hopefully you have siblings to help take some of the pressure

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Hey @livinguktaiwan, thanks for dropping by; I very much appreciated it. I have 4 brothers, and 2 of them got married. My parents already have 3 nephews 😃🙂

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Then at least there is no pressure from your parents for you to bear grandchildren for them!!!😊

Enjoy your life and have fun playing with your nephews. They're much better than having your own kids, you can just give them back to their parents when they start crying!!!

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Yeah that's what I'm intending to do or just adopt a child but the truth is Mom still wants me to give her a niece 😃. Old parents here wish to spend the whole life taking care of their children than their grandchildren :))
Thank you @livingUKtaiwan. I hope you have a wonderful week ahead. :)

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Live for yourself, have no regrets and when someone asks you this question ask them if just seeing you happy doesn't give them enough happiness 😉

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Yeah, living for myself now 🙂 Sure I will show them how happy and how much I enjoy my my life atm. Thanks for checking this out and nice to meet you.
have a great week ahead :)

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I don't like the idea of marriage because it is more difficult to just walk away after. A lot of paperwork would be required. I think some people are relying on that that their partner will be dissuaded from leaving and stop appreciating him as much as when they both are free.

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Hey @greenmask9, thanks for a visit and sharing your opinion on this, very much appreciated it. I can see your points. Yeah Marriage sometimes takes effort and time to get things done & I don't want to use the paper to keep someone with me either.

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this the Chinese New Year kind of question

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I have been asked year-round, and yes, especially during the Tet Holiday here when the relatives and neighbors come to visit.

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Ối dồi ôi cứ từ từ em ơi.

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Đang từ từ mà cứ bị hối đây...!! hihi

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You're doing great TrangBaby! I did the whole married thing once when I was in my 20's cuz that's what everyone else did.

It didn't work

Glad I never followed their lead with kids! Had I not stayed single until my late 30's I never woulda met Pura which led to a marriage for the right reasons and I probably wouldn't even be right here right now and could you imagine your comment section without me?!

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I'm sorry to hear about your first marriage.
Thanks for motivational words @dandays, your great 💖.
Almost all women here in the countryside in VN are supposed to have a stable job after graduation, get married, and give birth. For me..I feel bored just ~work, baby, family, house chores..repeat the same things every day..!! I'm glad I follow my heart/
Better late than marry wrong I meant just right time right person.
Again, thanks for coming by & I'm always happy to see you around :)
As always

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(Edited)

My pleasure. You're always so sweet, I couldn't avoid saying what you just read. I think we get along so well cuz you do go against the grain.

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I fully support your idea of ​​being free before settling into a family of your own. This carries a lot of responsibility. Better keep living your life as long as you can.

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Thank you dear for your kind words 💖

Better keep living your life as long as you can.

Yay 💖💖💖

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If I ever get a "partner" I sure won't be putting my knee to the floor to beg or ask to get married. I don't believe in marriage as the modern human does. The modern term of marriage is asking the public for permission to be acknowledged as a couple. Why would "we" want their permission? "We" would be together anf thats that. no need to explain to the world the why's. No need to ask a preacher, imam, or domestic terrorists (judges) for permission to be acknowledged as a couple.

Marriage two souls conjoined as one. Only way to actually do that is through sex. Not fancy rings or magical parchment paper is going to make what is already natural legitimate, more legitimate. That's just silly and stupid. Does a tree need permission from the other trees to receive (?) or to give?

humans Don't need to "get married". That is an illusion based on a perverted cult|ur|e we have been subjected to. It is now in modern terms, nothing more than a means to make revenue.

Marriage in today's world is a joke.

Count me out but count me in too but the latter part of when it happens is no ones business but my partner and the bedsheets.

cheers,

Currently without a partner. not looking for one but rather letting myself be found.

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Hey @yayogerardo thanks for checking this out and sharing with me your thought. I'm very much appreciated it. I see your point. Marriage is difficult sometimes but I guess it would be great with the right person. I have seen many couples living together and happy forever but don't need a marriage or witness from other ~that's nice :)

not looking for one but rather letting myself be found. 💖

Anyways, nice to meet you and hope to see you around..!!
Have a lovely day :)

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The tough part about this type of stuff as well is family turns out to be someone you never thought they would be. When we told my parents we were getting married, they ruined our engagement from day 1. It’s never been the same with them since and I never in my wildest dreams thought that would be the case. It’s nothing against marriage but it’s that people will do things you don’t expect them to do and it sucks.

Marry someone you want to, don’t marry just to marry. Thankfully I found someone who is the right person, best friend, critic when they need to be, partner, like-minded, beautiful doesn’t hurt either 🤣 but importantly an equal. These people might come from the most random places, we met randomly but when you find the right one you know. We only dated for a few months before I proposed.

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Hey @cmplxty. Sorry for the late reply

Marry someone you want to, don’t marry just to marry.

💖
Thanks for the advice and for sharing your beautiful story @cmplxty. I'm so admiring of both of you and wish you guys a lifetime of Happiness together forever :))

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