I will say something
'Not a rant, or complain; just flipping something on my mind.'
I guess I'm a little homesick and feeling nostalgic.
I've accepted a long time ago that I'm from a big family, just not a close one. I do have a favourite uncle though; one who I wished was my dad when growing up.
He stepped in, and took me under his wings when I was a teenager.
When I turned 14 years old, he visited my home and had a nice conversation with me. He was the only person who could relate and communicate well with me.
Summer break was approaching which meant that for two months, I'd be out of school. He offered me a summer job as a filing clerk at his company; A massive room filled with files for almost every tire shop in Jamaica; it was the Goodyear Distribution Centre.
I remember it like it was yesterday.
Everyone had gathered, and the room went silent.
"Camille, we know you like your independence, and thought that since you'll be off from school for 2 months, maybe you'd be happy to earn your own money." said my uncle.
"Why me, I'm the youngest; Why not my sisters." I asked.
"Yeah, I could ask them, but I figured it's something you'd like to do." my uncle replied.
Ecstatic, I said yes, and started packing my bag right away. I was ready to leave for the big city, Kingston (Jamaica).
I later realised that they had out-smarted me, for my own good.
My parents knew my uncle would say all the right words, the right way, to me.
Those summer jobs continued every summer break till I was 18 years old.
Years later, I had another important conversation with my uncle when he came to visit me at my work place.
We were having lunch at a restaurant at the hotel where I worked, and he happened to mention that he was not happy with my sister, who was in a relationship that was not good for her.
I turned to him and asked him what about me, as I was in a similar kind of relationship.
He said, "I'm not concerned about you Camille, I know you'll do the right thing at the right time."
It's good when someone has faith in you.
Years go by, and I'll not speak to my uncle or see him, but we are always happy to see each other when we do.
I've always admired the connection between him and his wife, and their close family unit.
Last week I got the sad news that his wife succumbed to the dreaded virus. This has saddened me beyond belief. I feel his pain. I cannot imagine the sense of loss he feels.
I am an emotional person, and process things in my own time, and I needed to get myself together before I reach out to him. I told my dad I need to give my uncle some time too.
What do you say, really?
Does what you say really matter?
I don't know what I'm gonna say, but I will say something.
I admired his wife because she was grounded, confident, and accepting of people for who they are, unlike most of my family members.
She was a guidance counsellor and a great role model at a high school.
She was a happy person.
As a kid, I learned the term cesarean when she gave birth for the first time.
I also knew she was my uncles best friend.
We all mourn losing her, but take solace knowing that her suffering is over.
Rest in peace☮️
Death is the one thing is life that's certain, but never easy to deal with.
Life is fragile, and we never know when, when it's the last time we'll speak or see someone.
We tend to think more about this when we lose someone close or dear to us in some way or another.
We get caught up in our busy schedules and put things off. I have been there.
Sometimes in the midst of doing something, if someone pops to mind, I try to send a quick message. I'm not as good as I used to be at doing this, but I will improve.
Still, I don't know what I'm gonna say; but we always find something to say, don't we?