Mental Health

Want to hear a joke?

Oh, okay! Fo sho!

Do you know what a teacher can say both in the classroom and bedroom and get away with it?

What?

It's wet outside, so today you'll be eating inside

That's a pretty solid joke, isn't it? Even though I had blatantly stolen this along with a few others from this youtube video I watched a couple of years back, I was proudly using it for quite some time! Since then, I have been proudly presenting it in front of my friends and peers and have been pulling out a few good laughs. Except when this same battle-tested laugh guaranteed joke had utterly failed in front of a friend of mine. Well, a joke tickles the funny bone only for so long! But in his case, that was not it!

He had attempted suicide a few days later! The reason being, he was finding difficulties associating with reality! That was the first time I was exposed to mental health issues in their severest form! It's not like I haven't seen people committing suicide or crazy things out of mental health issues! I, too, have had my fair share of problems. But to see a close friend of mine slit his wrist in nine places and wanting to die was to gore a sight.

In the last few lectures of psychology 101, we were taught how to recognize suicidal tendencies and take preventive measures accordingly! This was an exclusive portion as it had nothing to do with psychology but was introduced due to an influx of suicide among the university students! In retrospect, the suicidal influx of such sort has different catalysts in various societies! But in those lectures, empirical data presented before us concluded with two substantially vital reasons behind suicide: people committing suicide are incredibly lonely, and depression and mental health issues are treated as a vigorous form of taboo!

Let's take a look at my friend's case and dissect it a bit for further understanding! As his case is quite typical in a scenario exclusive to Bangladesh. My friend, who comes from a conservative religious background, has been in a relationship with his high school sweetheart for half a decade. He is a good kid, quite handsome by Bangladeshi standards! A brilliant student in his class, but he only has very few friends! That's because, throughout his childhood, he had to go through a rigorous discipline devoid of experiencing anything we might refer to as fun and freedom that followed him to his youth! Even TV was limited to new channels. Even with such restrictions, everything was going well, until one day, without any notice, the love of his life got married under familial pressure!

In a polygamous society, this is nothing uncommon! A few days of shedding tears solves any heartbreak! But in his case, it was very different! In her, he had tasted freedom for the first time in his life! As his family was very conservative, he couldn't share the distress he had to go through that kept eating him inside out! Unbeknownst to any one of us, he was abusing drugs for a few months! This was how he tried to escape reality!

Later on, out of curiosity, I tried to analyze the triggers and the ticks he was sending off, which, if picked on, the event could have been avoided. And I found out something interesting and horrifying at the same time! Even though we like to think of ourselves as people who are upstanding and avoid mass stereotypes in my friend's group, we, too unknowingly, had participated in the mental health taboo! My use of lewd jokes, the above one is an example of which, can attest to that! We all knew that something was wrong with him, something profound inside which could have only been brought out if we only had a meaningful talk with him! Shaky hands, futile attempts to laugh, failure to engage in any type of conversation, self-isolation, not joining us when we visited places, superficial philosophical thoughts about how life is meaningless, and all that!

But the final nail which I, like an idiot, failed to recognize was when he asked me for money! He was always an exceptionally financially organized lad. And so when he asked, I just gave him the money without any further query. What he did with the money was, bought a shit tonne of methamphetamine, which is locally known as YaBa, got high for a few days, and when the high wore down, took up a blade and slit up his wrist!

Later on, when I talked with his parents, who cordially blamed us for what his son did, as we are the bad kids with whom by association he chose this path, I understood something only applicable in this instance! The parents were going through a phase of denial and just decided to blame the subsequent possible explanation! If the parents or the peers of individuals who commit or attempt to commit suicide simply rose above such stereotypical behavior and instead talked with them heart to heart, I wonder how many of them would be alive right now! Food for thought, right? A little compassion and willingness to open up might do more good than a million in a donation in therapy! What is more crucial is to take that first step and talk! That is the only thing we humans are good at! Talk!