It's All Black
The fan just slowed down; slowing down every second and it finally stopped. He let out a sigh of frustration. A power cut at 2 AM at night is terrible and the heat is getting even more unbearable. It’s too hot to lie in bed or sit or do anything else. When the mattress started to burn his skin, he tossed on the other side; he kept tossing on and on all over the bed in restlessness. Restlessness, why wouldn’t he be restless? The overbearing heat is going to keep him up through the night.
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He was rolling like a clock hand; round and round he shifted, then came back to where he started. After some time the entire bed turned into a frying pan and it was hard to stay lying on it anymore. He reached out to grab the hand fan from the side table and fanned himself, but his arms didn’t cooperate for more than a few minutes; they gave up in exhaustion. The door of the balcony was open; maybe he should stand out there till the electricity came back. He took off his t-shirt, pushed his sandals away and got out of bed; wished he could bring himself to wear his rubber flats, but he was unable to do so. He was sweating as if he got drenched in rain; it was unendurable. If there was any wind blowing outside, then the powercut could be endurable but no air to take a soothing breath in.
The window was open but there was no sign of light anywhere, no street lights or any other light; he walked closer to the balcony and rested his elbows on the railing. He could see the silhouettes of the residential buildings, the road, the lampposts; it was so dark, and no living soul in the nearest sight. What else could he do in this situation, he thought to himself. He went inside to grab his cigarettes and lighter; he lit one up while walking back to the terrace. And now he stood in the darkness looking at nothing; he also felt as if he was nothing. With each drag he stared far away, trying to look even farther from what he was allowed to. After the last drag, he crushed what was left of it and threw it out.
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It was going to be another night with no electricity. Walking in the balcony from one end to the other, had lost its charm long ago. This can’t go on, he realized; cursing the government would not bring back electricity but after reasoning enough, he cursed the powercut and the authorities and that certainly didn’t make him feel better. He was pacing in his room feeling rather blank headed; heat and no air, suffocation was gripping him tightly. And then he thought he had to rest but how in this insufferable weather could he manage to relax. A shower might do something good, he figured. Without wasting any more time, he went to the washroom to put himself out of the miserable heat. Even the tap water was moderately hot but that will at least clean up the dried sweat; after standing under the shower for a few minutes he was feeling normal. Getting out of the bathroom, he was heading towards the bed and then he halted. He remembered how the skin burnt and so he took the pillow and went to sleep on the floor. If the electricity doesn’t come back, it wouldn’t feel as hellish as it was before; the floor was cool enough to give him some comfort. You may wonder if that rock solid slab could be as agreeable as a mattress but at that moment he’d disagree; the floor cools down faster and it didn’t make him feel like lying in a pot above the stove. He couldn’t be in deeper sleep, as if he was awake somewhat; he knew when the fan switched back on but he was too tired to get up and go to bed. The floor was more accepting to him than his vulnerable bed.
Sometimes the things that are built to comfort us, can make us feel vulnerable and sometimes what appears to be intolerable, might give us peace after all.
