LETTER TO MY HUSBAND (season one, episode three ) 😇

MY DEAR HUSBAND,

I didn't want to show you my face after yesterday's incident. I did not sleep at night. Though it usual. It's 5 o'clock in the morning. I did all the housework and made breakfast for you. I know I bother you. But believe me, And wait a little longer. I do not have to endure long. Thinking about this, I cried again. Why am I crying? I should be happy. I won't bother you anymore. It's as if the day we got married I thought you would love me so much. But my thought is wrong, I love you from the bottom of my heart. Maybe I'm nothing to you. I started mumbling. Ahhhhhh, you drove me crazy.

I have no hatred for you, even if you hurt me a lot. Thinking about all this, I saw that it had sounded. I went to the bedroom and set an alarm on the clock. You know, when you sleep, you looked like an angle. I think I wish I could looked at your face for my whole life. I went to you gently. I smile when I see you. I gently removed your hair and kissed your forehead. Then I went to the kitchen. I went and arranged your breakfast at the table. Then I wrote on a piece of paper, “ Please have breakfast and go to work safely. And don't worry about me, I won't bother you anymore. Take care.” Then I left the house.

Because I don't want you to see my face in the morning. I don't feel human after yesterday night's incident, Feeling we have 'Run out of gas' emotionally. I don't know what I should do. My doctor uncle told me it would cost a lot of money for my treatment. Although I have no way to survive. So I told him I didn't want to live anymore. Don't blame yourself. I did not decide it for being angry with you. I am very grateful to you. You gave me a beautiful life. I need it. Although not a drop of love or care. This is love for you maybe...

I'm sitting in a park now. I'm thinking about you. I cried thinking about you. Suddenly a small child came and hugged me. Asked me if I had a bad day or not. I smiled slightly and hugged him. He was so cute. I wish I had a child like him. Aissssh what am I saying haha. The baby gave me a chocolate. 10 am At that time I came home. I came and saw that you did not eat breakfast. I felt like screaming and crying. I don't value to you anymore. I cried a lot. Well what in my life is just written in tears. I don't know what to do. I was looking at the sky and blowing my own troubles. Then I thought I'd make dinner for you. I hurried to the kitchen. Lots of pain in my stomach. I haven't wanted to eat anything for a while. Before you ask me if I ate. But you don't look at me now. Thinking about all this, I cooked food for you and put it on the table. I wait for you every day. You're welcomed home by me. But since my activity is boring to you so I gave up. I have a lot of pain in my stomach since morning. My nose is bleeding a lot. Gradually I became much weaker. I wanted you by my side at this time. But I never asked you for expensive clothes or told me to buy jewelry. Just wanted a little love and care. When I see it, I chatter. It's good you didn't love me. Otherwise I would have eaten your head, hahaaa…!

Then I went to the bedroom and from there I went to the guest room with my luggage. I don't want my existence to bother you. It's almost midnight. You're home now. I sat in the guest room waiting for you. I didn't go to you but I didn't keep you away from me. It’s really hard for me. I really wanted to feel your warmth. You then went into the bedroom. I then went to bedroom. Although you were in the bathroom. I took out a comfortable shirt for you. Immediately I went back to the guest room. You even didn’t search for me once. Am I dead to you? My tears left again, I feel like a crybaby. Husband you made me a crybaby. I was known as a tomboy but for you my love my life is now, however. Sleep well💜

( 14/5/2010 )