A letter to the Past - Contest / Lost time is never made up.

Source: Mufid Majnun - Unsplash

I used to believe that fathers gave love without having to ask them since they were proud to have children, but I had to realize that it is not that easy. Some parents are not so loving with their children and I got one of those. I did not quite understand that situation, much less did I understand the separation of mine.

Parents do not separate from their children, I thought, so there is still a chance to continue together as every time I come I will have the opportunity to do something to bring them together again. At the end of the day I came for the love of that union.

My greatest fear and displeasure came the day my father saw to say goodbye to me because he was going to another country. He would go far and not see him as before and besides that, he would go with another family where I was not included. So I decided not to talk to him, not to know more about him. I denied him as my father from then on.

After all, I wouldn't see him anymore. I refused to speak to him when he called me on the phone. With that I wanted to make him pay more attention to me and tell me that he loved me and wanted to be with me. He called me on my graduation day and I refused again. My pride and my rage prevented me.

10 years passed and I continued with my firm decision, 3 months ago my uncle called me and told me that my father had Covid.

I said: I don't want to know about that.
But He can die, he replied.
It's not my problem - I replied.

Several family members warned me that it was very bad, but I was not really interested. I was still very angry. After many attempts by my family and my mother to make him forget everything and talk to my father, I called him. He was seriously ill in ICU and could not receive calls. Although his heart was beating, his organs had already deteriorated and he was intubated and with artificial life.

They only waited for the outcome of the disease. Two months later he was declared dead of a fulminant heart attack. Today I feel bad, what a fool I was not to take a little of what he wanted to give me. So today I want to write you a letter, a letter to the past, now that my anger is gone.

Letter to the past:

Dear past:

How many times did you knock on my door and I didn't open it, I didn't want to listen to anyone, including you. Now I regret my arrogance, my stubbornness. I thought I was right, but you harshly let me know that I was not.

How much I would give to go back in time and listen to your messengers and be able to hear my father's voice again. Today I would receive what little he wanted to give me as long as he was still here. Now I understand that I wasted my time hating, when I could have gained much more than attention, I would have gained love.

I want to ask your forgiveness from the bottom of my soul, hoping that forgiveness comes from my father. I was a disobedient, proud and badly raised son. Now I would change everything for a little bit of your time with my father.

The lesson has been learned, so from now on I will bring love to my loved ones. It doesn't matter if I don't hear an ¨I love you¨ from them, I will say it for myself and for everyone. Thanks for learning, I know it made me a better person. Thanks and sorry.

This is my entry to the contest that @BDCommunity is doing this week, with the theme ´A Letter to the Past ´. have a friend who likes to write, I invite @arlettemsalas to participate in this interesting contest by the link:

https://hive.blog/hive-190212/@bdcommunity/2tzctu-contest-150-hive-in-prizes-a-letter-to-the-future