That One Suspicious Phone Call - True To Life Story

A couple of nights ago, I caught my husband talking to a woman over the phone. I wouldn't have acted like such a jealous, insecure little girl if the questionable phone call has not been made under suspicious circumstances. For one, the phone call was done in bed, while I was supposed to be out with my kid for her outdoor playtime. It just so happened that our playtime outside the house was cut short because it started to drizzle when we went out.

This is actually not a terrible story of how a family was destroyed by a homewrecker. Spoiler alert, what could have been a tragedy ended as a comedy.

The moment I heard that phone call, a million thoughts crossed my mind. I had a couple of options on how I should react. My brain started to flood with waves and waves of choices and possible outcomes for each. Of course, the first thought was to lash out, grab the phone, smash it to the wall (or to his face) while asking him who the heck he is talking to. I also thought about staying in the room while he gets on with the call, show him how unamused I am with what he is doing. Or I could just have grabbed the phone, ended the call, or maybe I could just have talked (harshly) to whoever it is on the other line before telling them to go look for another guy who isn't married and doesn't have a kid.

The last option is to just let him go on with the call, I get out of the bedroom without inflicting (pain) any drama, and get on with playing with my kid, (it is playtime, after all). I chose this option for so many reasons. One, he has a shift later that night and he needs his sleep so he could function properly. Two, my kid is calling out to me. If I stayed in the bedroom, there's a high probability of a fight brewing, and I don't want my daughter to see her parents fighting.

We are the Result of the Choices We Made

The life we live in is a result of the different choices we made along the way. The job we have, the spouse we married, the friends we have, the hobbies we enjoy are all the products of the different answers we made to all the different questions and problems life has given us. At least I'd like to believe that it is. Who else would be responsible for our own life but ourselves, right?

In that emotion triggering situation, I could have chosen to go berserk on my husband. I could have confronted him right there and then. It would have been the easiest solution but there's one thing I took into consideration. The moment I heard a woman's voice over the phone, in the bedroom, talking to my husband, my emotions automatically sent signals to my brain. Any action I could have done at that moment, no matter how much I try to keep calm or be rational would come out wrong. (Or maybe not, I just chose to be safe.)

In my mind, there's a reaction for betrayal, disrespect, disbelief, anger. And of course, my brain continued on with the next steps I should do. Heck, my thoughts even went really far, I have made contingency plans for my contingency plans. This is how I am when I react emotionally. That's why I thought stepping away and taking a breath would help me make a better choice.

Respect Should be Top Priority

I have always made it a point that the core of our relationship should be respect. I have seen couples breaking up because of infidelity. To me, being unfaithful is one thing, disrespecting your partner by showing indiscretion on their affairs, that's intolerable.

To keep your relationship stable, both of you should choose to stay in love with each other after falling in love. Now, it is not ideal, but it is also not uncommon that one of you will fall out of love or find someone else. If that indeed happens, my first rule is to be honest about it so we can deal with it like two mature adults. There's no point in dragging your partner into the relationship when they have obviously fallen out of love. Of course, we hope for the best - to grow old with each other and stuff - but we should also prepare for the worst.

I'd rather have him tell me right away if he has found another woman, so we both can iron out all the important details in both our lives. At least we can go our separate ways peacefully. The most important detail I am thinking about is our daughter. I have a well-thought-out contingency plan all directed to the welfare and security of my daughter's future.

Yes, this is the line of thought that suspicious phone call has led me to. I used to be a Workforce Analyst and a big part of my job description is ensuring that operations continue without a hitch with or without issues encountered.

The Note

Later that same night, I have forgotten about the phone call. I buried myself in house chores, taking care of our daughter, crochet, and anything else I can find until I can finally calm down and ask him nicely about it. But then he has fallen asleep. The following day, I did not talk to him at all. How do you ignore a person inside the same house? I'm not really sure how but I got by through the day without having any real conversation with him.

I am not used to it. I am talkative. I have a lot of stories to tell. Especially now that I am reading two books simultaneously, there's a lot of " aha!" moment I'd like to share. And so later that night, I wrote a note:

When I wake up tomorrow morning, explain to me who the woman you were talking to on the phone the other night was. Make it believable.

I can't just let this slide and but it's hard to find a moment during the week where we can both talk while our daughter is sleeping. So I had to find a better way. I think that was the best way I can.

The Comedy

The next morning, I prepared myself for what I was about to hear. The morning went on as usual. He was working on the dining table. I was sitting on the other end, my daughter right beside me. We were having our study time. Out of nowhere, my kid took the note and innocently asked me, "Nanay, is this a letter? I will deliver it!" I have composed myself well before I went to the dining area but this little kid just made me lose composure and had me laughing. I was able to regain myself though.

When my daughter left to play with her toys, that's when my husband asked me. He was giving me that contentious smile as if provoking me to anger. And so I told him what I heard. He was still giving me that foolish smile as if he knows something I don't. And I needed answers so I was starting to feel irritable.

He handed me his mobile phone before I could say anything and told me to scroll through the messages. He showed me the timestamps, the reason behind the call, the reason behind the conversation itself. And yeah, he told me that I could have just asked him right there and then and I could have spared myself the agony and the assumptions.

Yes, I have made a fool of myself thinking that my husband may have been cheating on me and thinking of all those plans. I wasted my time with all those assumptions. But I'm still glad I took the time to think first, and I'm glad I took the courage to ask him about it even if it was really hard to time it perfectly.

The family that talks about their feelings together stays happy together

_{Artwork by @marieeedraws}

After we talked, he hugged me. And I was crying because of how foolish I felt and because I felt assured that my husband is still the right man I will grow old with. And I wept even more because when our daughter saw us hugging, she joined in.

So there we were, the three of us, hugging in the middle of the dining area, the mother crying, the father laughing, and the daughter just delighted seeing how crazy her parents are.

I could have done better if, at the onset of the situation, I trusted that my husband is a faithful and honest man. It also could have been much better if I had asked right away. At least, we have one more story to laugh at when we are old and grey.

_{All photos are from Canva Gallery}

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@romeskie is a full-time stay at home mom juggling homeschooling, crocheting, and homemaking. A Business Administration graduate with a major in Marketing who ended up in the contact center industry, on the frontlines, climbing her way up to Workforce Management where she found her passion in real-time analysis and management. A once self-proclaimed careerwoman who soon realized homemaking was her real calling. Her passion varies from reading, writing, photography, and most of all, crocheting.

Connect with her through her Facebook Page: The Leftie Crocheter and on Instagram. Feel free to subscribe to her Youtube Channel: The Leftie Crocheter

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_{Big thanks to @bearone for my Hive PH badge.}