It has been a hell of a week even though it started well. My Birth country is in the middle of a crisis and I am firstly grateful to be out but really sad because my family are still there. I wake up daily with a heavy heart and uncertainty about what the day will bring.
I have never witnessed war before nor have I seen it happen but scrolling through my timeline and speaking to my family members, it appears as if I am present. I have been trying to balance my mental health with my physical one but all to no avail. Now I really do understand when doctor tells us to take a step back to reflect on our mental capacity. I am at the end of my rope and it has gotten so bad that I cant open my social media pages anymore.
I can't talk to my family without not hearing the sound of gunshot, all businesses are on hold due to this crisis and it looks like the citizen's life is hanging on a scale and a small shake will tip it off. How do people who live in constant fear cope, how do parent who has lost their offspring cope, how do family members stay hopeful in the face of death?. All this are going through my mind and it is quite hard to concentrate on stuffs going on around me when my ummediate family lives are at risk.
A nation without peace opens the door to destruction. We all need peace to survive and with this crisis, it is obvious that we humans take a lot of things for granted and peace is one of them which is seconded by security. I pray fervently to not get bad news concerning my loved ones and friends and I hope not to hear about loss concerning my loved ones property. When exactly is man going to have peace.
I left a place for the betterment of my future and family and its not wven a week into my trip, I am close to having a panic attack. I recite a mantra to myself everyday that I don't collapse nor crash due to constant worrying. I have given it all to God but the flesh wont let my soul rest. Now I can see how a psychopathic patient begins to hear voices in their head.
I have decided to take a big step away from this happenings and surround myself with positivity and good vibes maybe then, I wont wake up in the middle of the night praying I dont lose anyone close to me.
The world is crashing right infront of us and there is nothing we can do about it.