My life's been characterised by errors and even when I'm not so proud of it, I feel that changing so many things about me might make me lose a certain identity, the fallibility, the experiences and the person it eventually turned me into. The truth is that as much as I want to be different, lead a different life and maybe have the chance to be another person, I feel everything about me couldn't have been so disadvantageous. I've made memories I can't trade for something else, I've seen people that's influenced me by just their entire entity. I've met people by showcasing the side of weaknesses which I feel I loathe and everything has contributed to who I am now.
There are downsides to being locked in a particular entity, a personality or even everything you represent. I've known real pain and believe me I have known real fears that keeps me awake at night. But what do i do? A change is maybe what I desire, I need certainty, protection and assurance but eventually I can't have any. The beauty of life is that uncertainty can either be a curse or a blessing and even the people we envy or feel they're protected from life's uncertain nature are not really protected because no one knows anything,. our actions can't influence life itself it can Only prod it.
So out of curiousity I often wonder how it would seem if I wasn't born. Would the would have missed my impact? What if just a singular decision by my parents influence how better my life could have turned out? Truth is almost everyone has regrets as to how just very little could have changed them for the better. It's no longer news that life isn't fair but how can we as people see see this unfairness as a harsh characteristics that comes with reality? We can't! We exist by something that's beyond our understanding and that's why we're powerless to question life.
In truth, I have the most painful regrets, my shortcomings mostly defines my life and this is a phenomenon I haven't been able to shake off. However there's always a bright side to every gloom unless we choose not to see it. I've had some great experience and I'm thankful, thankful for the continuous opportunities given me. My life seems like something other will loathe while it'll be something others will desire to have. I've taken to the conclusion that for everything I've regretted I have something to keep me happy and balanced.
Interested in some more of my works?
My name is @Josediccus, a young Nigerian student who is a Dtuber, 📷 Psychologist, Poet And Sports Writer/Analyst. I'm using my contents as a process to create shared meaning as well as create expressions through which people on/off steem can relate. I believe content is a process to be enjoyed and relished and I'm up for any collaborations in my field stated above. Cheers
@Josediccus, your brother in pen and video 📷
I'm hoping to reach more people who are broken at heart and spirit, so share on any platform or rehive