Sleeping through life

in OCD8 months ago

Last night was one of the nights where I just couldn't settle into a good sleep, whatever that is these days. I am not sure what it was, but it could be that before heading to bed my wife and I were looking at houses and trying to figure out what we can do on a limited budget - I wonder how much sleep is lost due to financial concerns. It is interesting that in a world filled with earthquakes and fires, war and famine - it is money that is probably the largest driver of suffering.

If you don't have enough - you worry about getting more.
If you have too much - you worry about losing it.

My worry has been on the "not enough" side of that equation and while I would like to experience the "too much" problem for a change, I do not think that it is in the cards for me. But, this is all relative to experience and while we each and unequivocally have our own lives to live, our own lives can have a massive amount of variation in them, with the experiences of some appearing nightmarish, while those of others seem dreamlike. Looks can be deceiving though, and it is how each of us considers the hand we have been dealt.

My hand has been okay I guess, though I do wonder how different it would have been if I had been healthier as a teenager, as while there are plenty of benefits to illness and near-death experiences, there are drawbacks too. I have a feeling that my daughter's own health issues are related to that of her parent's, and that is pretty horrible to consider. As lovely as she is, I hope her life is more valuable than if she had never known life itself - since none of us have choices to be born - but we do have choices in how we live.

Perhaps I am just tired. Tiredness affects the mind heavily and it is similar to be drunk in many respects as reactions are slowed and thoughts become fuzzy and opaque. A tired mind is definitely not built for success. I should sleep more or at least, get a better quality of sleep when I do. I am considering getting a weighted blanket as I hear that they can help provide sleep comfort.

Two million years as humans - still haven't worked out how to live a life and sleep properly.

It is kind of funny how we have so much information on what s good and bad for us, yet still struggle to make ends meet in so many ways. People dying of starvation, people dying of obesity. Disease inflicted by products proven harmful, but the economic value they bring is considered worth it. The conditions of the planet we need to survive in are degrading, yet we act for a life of convenience that degrades them further.

Just tired I guess. But, still lots of things to do this morning before the workday ahead begins.

[ a Steem original ]



Read some wacky poetry on the blockchain...That'll put you to sleep, or make you want to kill yourself to get away from it. Either way you'll get some rest.

It would open an uncloseable loop, as I would spend the night wondering...

wtf did I just read?

Haha! Space-time continuum of what the ever-lovin' fuck did my eyes just read?!

And once read, it cannot be unread.

Yes, that old chestnut. lol.

I don't know what you guys are on about but it sounds intriguing.

see below :D


Haha...It's not intriguing really...Just bad "poetry" that I'm poking fun at. Nonsensical stuff that sounds a built like this:

Lofty tree of the moon, your love is an elephant tusk of righteous behavioural automobile. If angels were dinner plates in the chamber of the road of the chamber of chambers then that hair brush of fellowship would shine dimly and bright.

I am not as good at nonsensical stuff as the true master of it here on steem but you get the idea I think. That's what I'm poking fun at.

I have a down comforter paired with a duvet cover, so for all practical purposes, it is a weighted blanket. I sleep with the windows open all winter and get the best sleep ever, a nice deep, and thoroughly rest.

My mother napped all of her babies outside, no matter what season. I blame thank her for my open window policy. I always have a window open somewhere in the house, for the exchanges of fresh air. It makes the house smell nicer too.

I used to read a lot before I went to be when I was a teen-twenties. I would run on two or three hours of sleep, but, I swear that reading time counted as sleep time, my body was so relaxed. I feel like your writing serves you in the same manner. Reading your post is like sitting and having a cup of coffee with a friend. I can only guess that you get the same or more satisfaction writing them.

I suspect you write right before you go to bed. I, on the other hand, avoid any media, devices and even the phone winding down. I may meditate or read, but, shut my mind off or I will be up all night.

I think finance is something everyone worries about but, few know how to plan them or live by the seat of their pants. Present company excluded, of course.

Have a great day and before I let it slip my mind, I want to thank you for your kindness and generosity and influence that I have been the recipient of. Thank you. More than you will ever know.


I sleep with the windows open all winter and get the best sleep ever, a nice deep, and thoroughly rest.

I wish I could do this now too, but my wife has banned me from it --- she already has an icy heart =)

I suspect you write right before you go to bed.

Yes. For me it has something to do with "clearing away the day" through the words, even if I don#t write directly about them. I am glad that you feel it is like a coffee with a friend, because it is kind of how I read it in my head, a conversation with myself and the audience.

Have a great day and before I let it slip my mind, I want to thank you for your kindness and generosity and influence that I have been the recipient of.

You are welcome. Stop tipping me! ;D Really though, use it to make others smile and feel good :)

Oh, too bad. I truly believe there is a huge reward in the fresh air. Buy her a wool hat. One of my kids once wore a hat to bed. Now, that made me feel like a good mom. Okay, I will shut the window in howling wind now. :)

And yes! Keep on singing this song. I enjoy your posts more and more every day. They are real.


Oh, my! You are so bossy! :)

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I can understand this situation of insomnia very clearly. The restless mind keeps on running aimlessly and give the most painful experiences. Until we don't learn how to keep it align with the cosmos, it will always work against us. Only Yoga is the way to do it. No other scientific or technological advancement will be able to solve this rather they will increase it. Take the example of smartphones, they were invented for the better connectivity and data sharing but now they have taken the lives under their control. This is really painful. I wish you just start learning about the Patanjali Yoga Sutras. This is the only way to be liberated.

Glad it works for you. For other people it could be something else. There are thousands of paths to liberation. Actually writing seems to be the path for @tarazkp.

Yoga is one path, there are many. The meditation for some is the catalyst of suffering for another and the trick is to find what works for you.

Yoga in the pure form works for all. Yoga is not about any postures or distorted shapes. It has be learnt from very renowned and well trained person that is why it is must to have the Guru. These days Yoga is totally distorted and big institutions have changed it totally. You can see very strange things like Beer Yoga, Cold Yoga on the internet and people are mad about them. Yoga has lost its meaning completely in the west. But in India, it is still alive in pure form and csn be learnt through a Guru. But so called Godman have done a great harm to it and this is reason it doesn't work for some people because the ones who teach it, they really don't know the pure form and how it works. I only recommend you atleast you should try to find a good master and understand the true philosophy behind it then you will be able to grasp what your Guru will give you. The only difficult thing is to find a Guru or master in this time.

uestion rightly, all questions are answered. But we don't know how to ask the right question. To ask the right question demands a great deal of intelligence and sensitivity. Here is a question, a fundamental question: is life a torture? It is, as it is; and man has lived in this torture centuries upon centuries, from ancient history to the present day, in agony, in despair, in sorrow; and he doesn't find a way out of it. Therefore he invents gods, churches, all the rituals, and all that nonsense, or he escapes in different ways. What we are trying to do, during all these discussions and talks here, is to see if we cannot radically bring about a transformation of the mind, not accept things as they are, nor revolt against them. Revolt doesn't answer a thing. You must understand it, go into it, examine it, give your heart and your mind, with everything that you have, to find out a way of living differently. That depends on you, and not on someone else, because in this there is no teacher, no pupil; there is no leader; there is no guru; there is no Master, no Saviour. You yourself are the teacher and the pupil; you are the Master; you are the guru; you are the leader; you are everything. And to understand is to transform what is.
I think that will be enough, won't it?
_Jiddu Krishnamurti

Yup very true. I have read the J Krishnamurti a lot and he says that we all will be liberated and find the salvation. But that time comes in a million Years. If we can wait for that much time and go on suffer it is alright. But who knows when will this time come. Through Yoga you can know your true-self or what he has called as you are the guru, you are the master. We all are the same at the level of consciousness. The only difference is the extent to which one is aware of.

While reading your post a thought came to me that your writing serves a therapeutic purpose to you as well. It's like journaling. In fact, because you write from your own heart about what's bothering you it is probably an online journal.

Have you tried writing your posts by hand in a notebook first? I can say from experience it's very relaxing and helps me reduce the time of looking at the screen.

Definitely help me. Hopefully it is a win win though.

I used to write freehand and actually have considered doing it again and posting images of the words, rather than type. I might trial it and tag you in the first as I have an account and an idea. :)

If you do this, I might follow your example because that's what I was thinking about for 5 months...

I will try to organise it for the weekend =)

Hey @terazkp, you used to read books? Because I'm just getting to know your blog and I couldn't guess what your personal life is like, but your sleeping problem might be due to a constant worry about not having total financial freedom. In other words, if you had enough money to cover all your needs and comforts and those of your family, your mind would be calm and you would sleep better.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I get my peace of mind from reading financial guidance and financial intelligence books. And while reading them hasn't made me a millionaire or financially free, it has helped me to have a more serene mind, which has translated into a more comfortable life (besides which, of course, having greater financial intelligence has helped me to build good assets and earn more money than before).

I do. I am considering getting a weighted blanket as I hear that they can help provide sleep comfort.

Yep, that's true. And even truer under -0° Celsius.


Oh! and just in case... "forewarned men worths and sleeps well twice" };)


The colder the better. The best sleep I get is when under heavy and warm blankets with the window open... At minus 25 :) in Finland, babies nap outside in the winter.

I stumbled upon this video last night and found it extremely helpful. I hope it could help you too:

Thanks, will check it out :)

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