Please bleed

in OCD7 months ago

The last few days have been a killer, as I have had a customer delivery that was outside my technical comfort zone with very little preparation. For the last two days, I have stood in front of a screen and talked for pretty much 8 hours straight to 30 people, about things I only had a tenuous grasp on. Okay, I have a good grasp on about 50% of what I was delivering, as that is what I usually train. Because of the 50% missing, I have been working on my holidays and furlough days to get up to speed as much as I can and spent the early mornings before the session start to cram like I am back at high school and "forgot" to study.

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The days were intense for me and my watch that tracks "stress" noted that during the sessions, I was experiencing medium to high levels - I don't know exactly how it knows, but it seems to do a pretty good job and, the night before the first training, it logged my entire spleep as stressful bars in the medium range. This likely hasn't been helped by Smallsteps having a fever and being awake throughout the night since Sunday.

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However, the sessions went "well enough" from the client perspective and I am expecting the feedback to be pretty good - and hopefully they don't realize how uncomfortable it was for me to deliver. When I mentioned the challenge of this to my supervisor prior to delivery and how many of these kinds of challenging sessions I get, she said that the colleague that books trainers gives me these cases because she knows I can handle them without wholesale panicking and freezing. I don't know if this is fair, but I also don't mind being trusted enough to deal with challenge - rather than treated with kiddie gloves.

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When I was in retail in Australia many years ago, I would be used as the interface for problem and angry customers even from other departments than my own, because I could take the abuse and also deescalate the situations so that suitable solutions could be found. Again, I don't know if this was "fair", but I didn't mind doing it as I saw it as a challenge and a way to improve my emotional response to what could be very harsh people. My boss then new I could take it and, new I also wouldn't take shit under pressure. I sent more than one customer packing until they composed themselves and spoke civilly.

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One thing that I learned early on in my life is don't bullshit clients, if I don't know something, don't make something up, as it will be that which comes back to haunt. I think that a lot of millennials these days have grown up in some kind of internet bubble of self-branding that all they have is bullshit - and few of their skills have been battle tested. They spout about themselves continually, but when push comes to shove, they collapse under pressure and critique.

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The thing with the internet and especially social media is, we are able to section ourselves off from some parts of the world and build echo chambers for ourselves that support us, no matter what we put forward. This is why everyone on Instagram believes they are a photographer, model or influencer - it is a platform of self-deception and because of the design, will garner support for the illusion - kind of like being good looking... according to one's mother.

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I find it interesting how many people lump their skills into the same group as professionals, without giving an honest appraisal of what they are creating or the gap between their level and that of those who do it for a living - and survive and thrive. Self-proclaimed masters although their mind is not in touch with reality. For example, I find it funny how fast many people who post positive body image content and how comfortable they are in their own skin, flip and get upset at the slighest hint of criticism that points to their weakness. If you are comfortable in your own skin, your skin isn't a weakness - it is a strength - regardless of what someone thinks of you.

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Maybe it has to do with how much some people surround themselves with themselves these days, selfie after selfie until the perfect angle and lighting is achieved, then posting it onto personal feeds so that they can scroll through a gallery and look at their own face over and over - as if that is a skill. But, that is what gets them the comments and likes - that is what people "engage" with and then they extrapolate that feeling of popularity out into their proficiency of skill, like those celebrities who can sing well, so must also know about climate science or economics. This feeling of proficiency, although untested, gives them the confidence to brand themselves online - without having to deliver. And when they do, they deliver to an audience primed to support them. Get a little negative feedback though - and they fall apart, rant, rave and throw tantrums like toddlers - and think they are justified to do so.

One of the things with battle-testing skills is that sometimes you will get beaten, bloodied and brought to your knees, but you will learn to take a hit and learn how to get up without saying, "that's not fair".

Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]

When I got home from day one of training, I picked some cherries from the tree and pitted them to freeze for the winter. Pitting cherries is messy business and it looked like the scene from a murder. These are afterthought shots I took in very poor light so are missing some clarity - but hey, I have never claimed I was a professional photographer.

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 7 months ago 

some people surround themselves with themselves these days, selfie after selfie until the perfect angle and lighting is achieved, then posting it onto personal feeds so that they can scroll through a gallery and look at their own face over and over

A visual echo chamber. A mirror maze except they're not trying to leave.

A mirror maze except they're not trying to leave.

The potential visuals for this are fantastic

Reminds me about a scene from dexter (must watch that show again).

Hard to BS technology to a techo which a lot of us are on hive.

When I took the shots I was actually reminded of Dexter :D

I don't know exactly how it knows

There a specific hormones that get released when you're under stress, physical or mental. I'm not entirely sure though if a microchip in a watch can non invasively detect it.


Get a little negative feedback though - and they fall apart, rant, rave and throw tantrums like toddlers

This comes from insecurity. To become a self-proclaimed master at anything means they probably haven't had approval. I'm not saying approval of others is necessary if you're good enough. But to a lot of people not having approval leads to doubting themselves, even if they are actually good.

There a specific hormones that get released when you're under stress, physical or mental.

I am guessing that the hormones create some kind of physical reaction that can be "predicted" in some way. I don't think it is accurate, but it does seem to be in the ballpark. I don't mind stress, it helps me grow.

The entire internet seems to be a cesspool of approval seeking behavior.

create some kind of physical reaction

It does, but they are quite non specific. So it's about guessing lol! But interesting that it's nearly correct!

I will have to read up on it and see what it is doing

Well, I don't know about the professionalism of the photos, but those cherries look great to me!!!😂

Maybe you should try to do cherry marmalade. I worked with Georgina a long ago, the founder and former CEO (she is retired now) of The Marmalade Museum . She is a friend of mine and founded the company when she was 65!. She created the periodic table of marmalades and has won several international contests. They have more than 100 different flavors, one of them GinTonic marmalade!

She showed me how they produce some of those artisanal marmalades and I am telling you they taste like heaven. I have cooked myself the one with onion and pepper and adding that to bbq meat creates a delicious flavor mix.

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but those cherries look great to me!!!

They are :)

one of them GinTonic marmalade!

Now you're talking!!! :D

I have cooked myself the one with onion and pepper and adding that to bbq meat creates a delicious flavor mix.

I am a huge fan of marmalade myself, the problem is that I don't eat much bread these days. Though, marmalade on toast or scones is probably going to be mentioned in my autopsy report ;)

You don't need bread, just try sugar-free natural yogurt with some marmalade in :)

Get a little negative feedback though - and they fall apart, rant, rave and throw tantrums like toddlers - and think they are justified to do so.

Pretty much getting any kind of feedback sets people off now-a-days, not just the negative, after the rant and rave comes the I guess we just need to agree to disagree statement. They take feedback as a disagreement.

Ref pictures, those first couple to me reminded me of a song lyric glistening like blood on gold, and kind of looked like time bleeding away. So a nice compilation of photos, like a well told story, set the hook, reel them in, then surprise them in the end.

There are people who disagree to feel relevant and then they start to believe that their disagreement is the truth, like they have additional knowledge that no one else has. It is an expression of their "mastery"

So a nice compilation of photos, like a well told story, set the hook, reel them in, then surprise them in the end.

Thanks. I enjoy photo series more than individual images for this reason - the feeling of time passing.

Ahh the innocuous things that look like murder scenes XD my daughter was putting fake wounds on a couple of her friends that were sleeping over during the school holidays (will be in the next hs misc) and when I crawled out of bed the following morning JJ's first question was "why does my kitchen look like a murder scene" XD (they had done their best to clean up but red food colouring likes to stain)

Are we going with "fair" as in equitable or "fair" conflated with equal? XD As if it's the former than it is totally fair that you are getting all the hard jobs because you're the one that's capable, if the latter then definitely not XD

Now if only pay was fair

I find it interesting how many people lump their skills into the same group as professionals, without giving an honest appraisal of what they are creating or the gap between their level and that of those who do it for a living - and survive and thrive.

Are these "everyday" people you're observing or people who are actually making some money (living or otherwise) from whatever it is they're doing? As I've seen people calling themselves professional artists/photographers because someone is willing to pay them for something regardless of the quality of their work (from a technical standpoint) and I have seen them

Get a little negative feedback though - and they fall apart, rant, rave and throw tantrums like toddlers - and think they are justified to do so.

and I'm like yep that's totally professional o_O

I also wondered how some of them were still getting work but I guess there's no accounting for taste XD

Lols... red food coloring doesn't come out of much :D

Are we going with "fair" as in equitable or "fair" conflated with equal?

This is the question. In my opinion, I am "targeted" because I can be - I am okay with that, it gives me a competitive advantage in some areas.

Are these "everyday" people you're observing or people who are actually making some money (living or otherwise) from whatever it is they're doing?

Everyday people. Social media people.

As I've seen people calling themselves professional artists/photographers because someone is willing to pay them for something regardless of the quality of their work (from a technical standpoint) and I have seen them

Yeah - I get paid to write too - but would someone give me a book deal or hire me for a newspaper? Selling a piece here or there doesn't make a pro, consuming and criticising the works of pros doesn't either.

I also wondered how some of them were still getting work but I guess there's no accounting for taste XD

Online they aren't - their work is branding themselves.

I have picked your post for my daily hive voting initiative, Keep it up and Hive On!!

Thanks.

And here I thought you eviscerated those cherries in response to the first day of the training :)

"I don't know, but I'll find out" is a skill set. An often missing set at that. I've worked support for a couple of places. Always by email or live chat. I need the time to be able to 'vent' a bit at stupidity. Our best phone support guy at the time was also our top producing salesman month in and month out. A real talent to talk to an angry person and ending it by upselling. Amazing talent.

Too many people spend way too much time thinking about themselves instead of how they could better themselves.

"I don't know, but I'll find out" is a skill set.

I think that it is largely missing because these days, most people have Google support and aren't face to face, so they aren't accustomed to feeling like they don't know something.

Too many people spend way too much time thinking about themselves instead of how they could better themselves.

Perhaps again it is because of a lack of social connection, therefore pushback on how they behave.

Okay, got it. You have things against millennials.🤣
At first, I thought i will be reading a post on how to prepare ....a food recipe. After reading your last two posts, i knew i was underestimating you and your post.

One point I want to mention is the fact that how we tend to think that the job assigned to us is because they are valuing your skill and experience and not because we are submissive - lack of a better term- to the requirements. I personally think that sometimes I am being overused in those complex situations. It's positive if you take it as opportunity but the burden has to be shared equally among team members.

Tell me about the echo chamber, my twitter feed has been flooded by hive people lately. That's the 9nly thing I am aware of these days.👀

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Okay, got it. You have things against millennials.

Yes - the generation of entitlement issues, though they have done nothing notable so far except consume what others create.

It's positive if you take it as opportunity but the burden has to be shared equally among team members.

As I said above, I see it as having a competitive advantage over others, something that differentiates me and the challenge speeds my own development.

Tell me about the echo chamber, my twitter feed has been flooded by hive people lately. That's the 9nly thing I am aware of these days

Stop following Nathan. ;D

Ha ha that was funny. @nathanmars won't like it 🤣🤣

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Don't follow me.

Follow your dreams.

Follow your heart.

The single most important thing I learned in college: "Don't let what you 'do' define who you are".

A lot of people define themselves by the color of their own skin, their sex or gender, their sexual preferences or what nationality they are. I would suggest that in any given moment, defining ourselves by our behaviors is a healthier path, though not ideal.

I should've clarified, "...do for a living..."

I believe that any person who claims they have build self confidence should be able to handle criticism without having a toddler's attitude. Of course that we would prefer constructive criticism, politely delivered, but how often does that happen? We should also be able to dust off any criticism which has the purpose to belittle us and bring us down instead of improving us. A lot of people disguise their envy and malice in form of "constructive" critique. Those kind of people are usually lacking self esteem and they gain power by bringing others down. That kind of "criticism" should be ignored from the get go. It can happen with a stranger, with a boss, with a family member.

the pictures are actually good.

I have personally decided to take more of constructive criticism and pay less attention to the sweet words and all. Yes those sweet words make me continue what i do but the criticisms make me better at what I do.

deep post

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Let's run the gauntlet, going to list some pet peeves that hit my "funny bone' most days, a "self proclaimed marketing guru." (BTW I am no marketer, I do give free advice when I have learned something, by experience...)

They spout about themselves continually, but when push comes to shove, they collapse under pressure and critique.

Continual selfies, not only of themselves, their food, their hair, their clothing, the list goes on... If you offering a recipe yes photography the food explaining how you get to the result, greeting your family do so privately people don't need to see your face in social media daily unless it is part of your story. OK I am not going into rant!

selfie after selfie until the perfect angle and lighting is achieved

The next is outside the spectrum of pet peeves, photography most of us pick up a camera still learning, very few are professional it is great to learn something new every day, your photography actually justified the story!

Those cherries look delicious not a fruit we get off trees and have to buy at grocery stores, quite expensive too!

Have a wonderful day, made me smile at the end of mine, not normally one to rant too often.

@taraxkp

Glad that you handled it as we knew that you would. And your bosses also knew that hahaha.
So, relax soldier, as yet another mountain was climbed and it will most certainly enhance your reputation as the "go to" guy.

Yeah, we fight many battles, but we never feel sorry for ourselves, or blame others. Maybe that's our mistake, but it is just the way that we are. After a knock down, wipe a bloody nose on a sleeve and fight on in life!

Nice to hear that everything ended better than you imagined :)