In the life of another

One of the reasons I enjoy writing about Hive so much is that it is a microcosm that represents the greater world around it, complete with economy and all the emotions attached. Perhaps due to social isolation as a kid, I have always been a people watcher and interested in the reactions that people have to stimulus. This means that I can somewhat predict actions through the behavior patterns exhibited and I have spent enough time alone to see how my own behavior can affect and be affected by the environment. Over time, I have developed a fair amount of experience and the feedback to hone my skills a bit from where I have predicted well and poorly. While far from infallible, I am not too bad.

Hive is a place that is filled with all kinds of people, doing all kinds of things with all kinds of skill, backgrounds, personalities, financial positions, motives and incentives, with many coming here for the potential of earning someday, maybe, possible - if the stars align. This is pretty much a replica of the world at large as no matter what we might say, we all want something.

It doesn't matter if it is the guy looking sideways at the last cookie, or the girl twirling her hair in front of him - the way we behave leaks out intentions and opinions and this is no different on Hive, where people feel that they are better hidden than they actually are. I think it is a given that most of us want some value at some point, but the way people might go about this can differ greatly, with some taking a middle path of trying to take and trying to add value and a few others, more extreme in the taking than the giving.

There are many reasons for the way we behave and the action doesn't always indicate the reason, but I sometimes wonder what goes through the head of people who have a conflict in their position, the kinds of people who might talk about community, but not act it or, the people who scam knowing it is wrong and getting away with it. A conflicted personality is like being a split personality and I think that the internet is a place where there is plenty of personalities splitting away from the reality of the person.

I think that this life can be very hard to live when so much of our lives are in front of a screen, but we have to also stand in front of a mirror occasionally and see our own reality. We can say we are this or that, we can say we do this or that - but when we are naked in front of ourselves, we have to do some "creative accounting" to avoid seeing the discrepancies. While the unexamined life might not be worth living, the conflicted life is torture. I think that this is one of the reasons so many people are emotionally struggling.

I see it in the real world too, where people post positive affirmations in order to support their way of life, but then when I see the look in their eye and behavior when they think no one is watching, it is less an affirmation and more a wish that they were something different. I have observed this countless times across many different areas and it is always the same, the open support of their current position, and the repression of what they actually want to be.

But online, the facade is more difficult to see behind, especially when people can be anonymous, but if you watch for long enough, everyone leaks their true self. I liken it to dating where on the first date, each is trying to impress the other with their likes and manners, their habits and thoughts - but 2 years later, "you changed" - and they did. They weren't themselves at the start, but they became more of themselves the more comfortable they got in the relationship.

We all change of course, as we should, as we all experience new things, different perspectives and are exposed to all kinds of events, situations, conditions and pressures that change us. Being consistent isn't about not changing, it is about evolving consistently as yourself, through discovery of new possibilities and paths. If I was the same I was four years ago, I would have wasted the last four years - that or, I am already perfect - which is only a half truth - as the other half of me is anything but perfect - it is all about averages - I am average.

And I think this is the problem with the conflicted world we have created as we are encouraged to generate a view of ourselves that is not actually us, with many trying to present some kind of hero persona when in actual fact, they are average, like me, like most of us. Observe long enough and this is what we will find is true about pretty much everyone, we are all average at most things, even though we might be exceptional at some things - we are all flawed, all imperfect, all make mistakes and all say stupid things from time to time, some more than others. No amount of Photoshop or "selfie filters" will ever fix our reality.

But, in this world, there is no room for errors because no matter who you are, the smallest slip will be taken out of context in the worst possible ways and amplified from a thousand perspectives across a hundred million screens. Our track record is meaningless, because people place singular focus on the immediate moment and will burn their own house to the ground, without thinking that tomorrow they will need a place to stay.

Because of this, many people cover over themselves, tilt their head to the perfect angle, share the wisdom of others and spend their time being someone else most of the day and then wonder why a stranger looks back at them from their reflection. It might seem harder to publicly be yourself - but in my opinion, it is much easier than living the life of another. I see this double life like the torture it must be for many gay people who for one reason or another, feel they need to stay closeted. I think many online are in closets, most of their own creation, as they think that the opinions of others are so important that to be themselves, to show their idiosyncrasies, to be open to the world of mistakes and lessons is the risk.

The risk is living the life of another, in fear of being yourself.

Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]