Already by the third day of meditation, the zone of concentration and observation of the body was expanding little by little, by focusing on that zone without expecting anything, only focusing on the breath and the body can present inexplicable and unique things that a novice in meditation has not experienced.

I followed the steps to the letter, complying with the code of discipline because I wanted to get the most out of the time dedicated to me alone, so I didn't kill a single mosquito and after purging my mind of so many good and bad thoughts, I managed to have a blank mind for a long time and focus at my disposal, first nostrils, then a full nose and continued to run my face, eyebrows, eyes, forehead, lips, cheeks, etc., just as I was told.

After feeling the first bubbles in the nose area, it was very easy to go through the face and awaken the sensations that happen there without us being able to recognize them, a party I felt in my face, bubbles on one side, when I changed the focus to another area, you could perceive, heat, Cold, sweat, pins and needles, burning, itching, tingling, jumping, air friction, tingling, freshness, among others, were many sensations that I could feel, one next to the other, and being as opposite as different, it was as if each one had its own life and I was ecstatic about that discovery; how it was possible that so many things were happening on my face and I would never have perceived it, much less thought about it.

They have always been there, they change like everything in time, life, the earth, people, living beings, are in a constant change, but we do not realize it, we are asleep, our mind keeps us in the unconscious to be able to exercise control of the important things without saturating our brain, temple of our mind.

Now when by our own disposition we take control of our body and mind we open ourselves to the conscious world and we wake up to the new, we perceive in a different way, starting with the body, that is what happened to me, I became aware of my own body and I woke it up.

I felt so much joy that I wanted to share it and I did it with the guide teacher who constantly asked how we were doing, I did it one by one in a personal way. After the third day, in the evening talk they manifested through the audio how should be the progress of the people in the retreat and I was doing well, it was something normal what I felt in the face, all those sensations, but that day the teacher asked us to have strength and motivation for the following days, I did not know what we had to face or face in the fourth day I understood it.

We always started from the beginning nose and face areas, that day the number four was already the time to move to another level, feel our body at the level of the chest and back, the process was the same to go focusing the attention on a certain area and observe what was happening, without filling with expectations just observe with calm and patience, breathe and be aware in the present moment.

Just as it happened in my face, part of my body woke up, there was movement everywhere, where I focused and various sensations, but something unexpected came up, suddenly a sharp pain appeared in the middle of my chest, strong and growing I felt that it was located between my breasts but it also connected with my back, it was as if the pain went from my chest to my back, the first thing I thought trying to justify the pain was that it was produced by the way I sat for so long; and I would concentrate on my body again but the pain grew in size and strength, it was more and more sharp and acute, almost unbearable and it did not disappear but remained in all the meditation, it was difficult for me to move to another area because the pain did not allow me to do so.

When it was lunch time I went to the teacher and explained the pain I felt, she only nodded her head and told me to observe the pain, so I went out for lunch, while I arrived at the dining room the pain gradually disappeared until it was totally eliminated, but when I returned to meditate and what I was able to focus on again the pain was activated when I realized that, I understood that meditation was what caused me the pain.

Sitting in my place with everyone around me I dedicated myself to look for a moment at the whole group and I could realize the calm and tranquility that was in them, everyone was apparently calm and without pain, but I could not stand it, what great pain I was suffering and without a logical reason.

It was an internal struggle that I was suffering, I tried to concentrate, but the pain was a hindrance to meditation, I was bent from the pain and it no longer allowed me to breathe, it seemed a kind of colic, but I was sure that there was a relationship between meditation and pain; I bent over and looked at the rest of the participants and they were all, relaxed, calm and looked at each other placidly and in one of the rounds where the teacher was interviewing us I took advantage and mentioned again how strong the pain was when I concentrated, the answer she gave me was to try to observe the pain, but how? That's what I wanted to know, how could I do it? I asked him for an example and he answered...

Observe the pain as it is in itself, if it is cold or hot, big or small, sharp or soft, deep or superficial, constant or alternating, everything that allowed me to observe it, as in a laboratory, as if I were a scientist, trying to do it from the outside without letting myself be carried away by the pain, and that is what I did, step by step I gave in to a struggle that apparently would have no end because I had to solve that problem or I had to abandon the retreat on my fourth day because of the pain.

At night I wished the day would end, but the pain that did not allow me to meditate or move forward, it was time to make a decision, when I remembered the words of the teacher the day before that the next day would be decisive, because if it could be overcome it was likely that people would arrive on the seventh day of the retreat, if they managed to overcome the test and I had set the goal I should continue with or without pain.

Already established the pain in my body, mind or both and knowing that it manifested only when I focused my mind on my body, I decided to continue in spite of the pain with other areas of the body such as arms and parts of the torso, while in the center of the chest I felt a painful hole in other parts there were good pleasant sensations.

I was trying to remember the talk of the previous night that everything was changing and impermanent, everything moves and I could prove this by feeling my body dance in different directions and rhythms, is to perceive the life of each cell, despite the pain, I was ecstatic with my present moment, just existed and I was breathing and feeling each part from the depths of my mind.

As Carl Jung expresses it in his book "It is not possible to awaken to consciousness without pain. People are capable of doing anything, however absurd it may seem, to avoid facing their own soul". "No one is enlightened by fantasizing figures of light, but by making their darkness conscious.

Had that happened to me? Had my consciousness been awakened? Until that moment I did not know, I only felt that this new world that I was discovering amazed and moved me, how painful it is to know oneself; maybe that darkness is the pain, hard and very hard is the awakening; I would dare to say that that physical pain was the same or even more attempt than the emotional pain, because I had already gone through the loss of loved ones and to see them with my eyes starting from this plane is something that I will never be able to forget but that is another issue, here what matters is the present, to live and be conscious of your own present, of your house called body, of the house where a spirit lives that after soiling it with the egos is called soul.

As reflected in the Bible, the sacred book that reveals the history before and after Jesus, the saint who divided time is read in the book of Job Chapter 09 Verse 35 "Since it is so, I will talk to me alone without fear", many interpretations can be given and in the different Bibles, Catholic, Evangelical, Jehovah's Witness, in all this different but have the same message, For me after this experience it only makes sense, Job's phrase in the above-mentioned verse reveals, that within us there is a part where God is, since he is the Almighty who has power over all things, Omniscient who knows about all things in the universe because he created them and omnipresent because he is in all his creation and can be everywhere including humans.

To be in the depths of oneself, in absolute silence is frightening, of course it is frightening, it is to be in the unknown, it is difficult to know oneself and painful, but to be in that level of consciousness requires certain sacrifices so to speak, a proper meal, a necessary abstention of body and mind, a proper meditation, all that to cleanse, to purify the temple which is the body itself, so as to arrive where the door to a little known world is opened, because in the end only a few come to know themselves.

There are very diverse emotions that can impel the heart of man to undertake the path of spirituality; the motive can be noble like Faith, love... but it can also originate from a whim, fear of loneliness, curiosity or fear of death. None of this matters, the true spiritual path is stronger than the reasons that led us to it and gradually ends up imposing itself, with love, discipline and dignity.

God's ways are uncertain for us, incomprehensible for some, God often uses solitude to teach us something about living together, sometimes uses anger so that we can understand the infinite value of peace, often uses silence of speech to teach us the responsibility of what we say, sometimes uses fatigue so that we can understand the value of awakening, He uses illness to show us the importance of having good health, he also uses the pain of death to show us the value of life, at other times with annoyance or boredom he wants to show us the importance of letting ourselves be carried away by adventure, that is, awakening includes a reflection of the world around us and absolute awareness of the present.

After two days with intense pain in the practice of meditation, I decided to follow the recommendations of my teacher and I began to observe the pain from an external perspective, from the outside and I managed to realize that the pain was bigger, more intense and hot, and every time I observed it, it was reducing rapidly, it was disappearing, just by observing it like a scientist without ignoring it or giving it more importance, without suffering from it, without suffering from the pain, looking at its behavior and examining its form, its texture, its temperature, all its characteristics and in doing so it simply reduced and disappeared.

I couldn't believe it! The pain was gone, as it came it was gone, it was reduced until it exploded, inside me, I felt the heat expand as the pain disappeared. The emotion was so great that I wanted to scream, that I felt joy by eliminating it with the force or better said the focus of my thought, I could erase that physical and real pain that had bothered me for more than 48 hours, but after that great emotion and joy came a great scare.

At the moment I began to feel emotions I had lost the necessary equanimity to achieve the objective of the meditation, I could not feel any emotion neither good nor bad, I should not have any thought and they emerged to see that the pain disappeared, arriving the joy and the thought of having achieved it together with the amazement, seconds later came the unexpected, something I had never experienced, something amazing and I went from having joy to having fear, the fear born from the unknown.

Suddenly I saw myself from the outside, just like that, I literally observed myself sitting in the lotus position in the room with the companions and all those present, I looked at myself from the back, I could not believe it, how was it possible, was I outside my body? How could I see my back? And the fear came in that fraction of a second.

I returned to my body and I felt a force pulling me to the right side, as if someone was pulling me, a vortex of energy unfolded but I began to fight against this force, I did not want it to drag me, to take me, it was too strong and I could not handle it, So I was dragging and my body stretched like a plasticine doll, I stretched and I saw how colored lights came out from the people in front, my clothes and my body everything started to mix as everything was bending, stretching to the right, everything with me was unfolding.

Then when I could no longer fight that force and everything was stretched out like plasticine, my head and my trunk were part of a mixed whole, I was very afraid and thought with these words, this is how my first thought manifested itself: I scored my mind, I got a stroke! (Stroke), I thought it was the end of me and as I could, I opened my eyes.

When I opened my eyes everyone had already finished the meditation, the lights had been turned on and the teacher was talking and giving directions, some had already stood up from their place, while I was crooked, stiff as a trunk to the right, but not as much as I saw myself before I opened my eyes, I was the only crooked tree in the place.

After straightening up, I hurriedly went to ask what had happened to me, what I should do, the teacher listened to me with attention and told me that the pain had exploded, that all the energy that I had blocked in my chest was already released and what I had experienced was called Samsara, I remember her exclamation ¡hi te dio un Samsara¡, that word was new for me, I had never heard it, days later they mention and explain its meaning in the night recordings, samsara is the cycle of birth, life, death and incarnation in Buddhism in the philosophical traditions of India; Hinduism, Buddhism, and also in others like Gnosticism and other ancient philosophical religions of the world.

Saṃsāra derives from Sanskrit saṃsārí, which means to flow together, to pass through different states, to wander. "Samsara" is the root of the Malay word "sengsara" which means suffering. Without suffering one cannot reach samsara.

In another vein, when I ran to tell the teacher what had happened to me, she said that it was normal and that I should not be afraid.

What happened was not a trance at all, nor a loss of consciousness on the contrary, it was consciousness in its purest manifestation.

I was terrified and with those reassuring words I went to rest like everyone else. But it wasn't possible, I felt from my head to my feet up and down bursts of energy, it was like being on a roller coaster but in bed, my stomach went up and down, then after a few hours almost at dawn, I was overcome by tiredness and could sleep.

While I write this book remembering what happened I fall into consideration about the time I could have experienced this, for me it was a few seconds, but after the meditation came an hour of recorded talks and then the day ended with the indications of the teacher and questions and answers of some interested, when I came out of the trance the teacher was already talking, that means that what seemed to me a few seconds could have lasted more than an hour.

The next day, thinking about what happened the previous night, I imagined that it would not be repeated any more, I did the routine of all the mornings and I prepared myself to meditate with tranquility, but after a few minutes of taking a deep concentration a new pain arose, this time in the left zone of the back, so I prepared myself to observe the pain and in fact it disappeared and with the same speed that it left a new Samsara came to me towards the other side, the left part. That happened again because I reacted the same as the previous time with fear, it is almost impossible not to, I broke with the meditation and opened my eyes.

As I didn't know what to do I asked the teacher again if I should continue while the samsara was going on and let myself be dragged by her strength or fight against her and not allow myself to do so, and why this was happening to me.

She explained to me that this happens to every person who meditates deeply, not to scare me, that from the floor it was not going to happen, she said it in a humorous way and smiled. And she mentioned that even the Tibetan monks get to the floor, and what I had to do was to fight and not let myself get carried away, because if they were not going to multiply and if I managed to beat them I would go to another phase. That was all he told me, because he was a person of few words.

I was left thinking about how to defeat something that has a force from another world.

When the Buddha became enlightened, he remained in equanimity, serenity, peace, he was clearly aware, after having suspended the joys and sorrows, after having annulled the sadness and joy, he reached perfect purity, it was when his divine eye was opened, the suprasensible vision with which he was able to contemplate the infinite universes and overcome the abyss of time, remembering many of his previous existences when he conquered the samsaras he remembered that of one life, then two, three lives, four lives and five, ten lives and so on until he reached thousands of lives, going back so much in time that he came to see his first life, he came to see his body inside, how his blood circulated, how the muscles were linked, and the bones were formed, how his cells were divided.

With such condition of pure, simple and incorruptible spirit, he had dissipated ignorance, conquered science, dissipated darkness and conquered light.

By studying the life of the enlightened Siddhartha Gautama, one can know that samsara is a kind of passage to another astral level, and that by overcoming it and not bowing to it, one evolves in his life or spiritual cycle; once one overcomes all samsara, one achieves enlightenment and with it one can see past lives, the same buddha manages to return so much in his past lives until he reaches the first one, and to be able to see even how his first cell was formed before his first life, it seems crazy but it is not, it is the process of enlightenment of a being, this entails sacrifice, pain and determination, the truth has all this.