Thoughts about "Unfollowing"

in OCD9 months ago (edited)

Greetings Steemians,

I would like to discuss this topic, it's been weighing on the mind a bit, and I should state right now that this entire post will be opinion based, feel free to disagree in the comments or challenge my logic. I'm always open for debate.

Thanks to @esteemapp, we're able to see a notification when someone unfollows. I think this is super cool, and I personally do not know of any other tools to check unfollows, so if someone is aware of other tools, please let me know! (I know steemworld shows notification for the unfollower, but not the one being unfollowed.)

I'm one of those people who likes to ask a person why they unfollowed me. I'm not bashful about this at all.

One of two comments is typical from futuremind.

If I care:

  • Hey, why did you unfollow me? Should I unfollow you too?

If I don't care because I never had any interaction with the user:

  • Hey, thanks for the unfollow!

Sometimes I miss unfollows and have a difficult time finding the notification. I would love to see a filter for this option with eSteem in the future.

It seems like both follows and unfollows have had a higher than usual rate since the rising sun. Maybe emotions are flaring for both the good and the bad. I've certainly been rollercoasting over this myself.



Couldn't help myself, this pixabay image is perfect for the occasion.


So now I'm going to delve into my thoughts regarding why a person should or shouldn't unfollow. (again, just my opinions.)

When asking a recent unfollower why they unfollowed me:

the last posts you made are far from the things I follow or like. I want to have a strong iteration with those who follow me, and I want to comment a lot on the posts of others, but if they don't meet my interests I don't know what to comment on.

This is understandable to a degree, but imo there is some fallacy in this kind of thinking.

Prior to the unfollow, 2 of my posts were upvoted from this user. Why would you upvote posts that are "far from the things you like?" (see the confliction?)

And why would you unfollow someone solely on the basis of content if you have had regular interactions with the user?

It's my opinion that if you've followed someone and commented on their blog various times in the past, somewhat of a "relationship" will be formed, and there must have been something that attracted you (content wise) to the blog in the first place. Upvote value?

And why would you follow and comment on someone's blog if the content is "far from what you like"..? I'm just not getting it, and I try not to assume to know what people's motives are all about, but I do believe I have the ability to make "educated guesses" based on certain patterns and behaviors.

People become friends here, and we all have different thoughts, values, opinions, likes, dislikes, ect ect.. From time to time, you might see a post from a friend here that you really don't agree with or even like. Does that warrant an unfollow? Well shit, if it does, then I don't think I would have made it this far with a decently successful blog on Steem!

I guess what I'm getting at here, is engagement and relationships should be held in higher regards than content in some respects. (not all respects of course) It's harder to rebuild burned bridges than to reinforce them or fireproof them so that they don't burn. (ok maybe that analogy sucked a little)

What would be an appropriate reason to unfollow someone? Lack of engagement, lack of posting, highly offensive content, (according to public opinion, or your own.) abusive exploitation, ect. Simply unfollowing someone because you "don't like their content" is pretty lame, especially if you've been following and commenting on their blog. To me, I see something else going on...

When someone unfollows after engaging for a while, and says they don't like the content, I'm calling bullshit.. What I see is you didn't like how much I was supporting you, it wasn't enough, and stinks of someone who doesn't give a damn about people and is only here for the money.

That might seem a bit harsh to say, but I'm one of those people who calls things how I see it, and if you don't like it, by all means unfollow me, and expect a message later asking kindly why you did.

When you fully grasp the intrinsic workings of Steem Power and Voting Power, it will become apparent that upvotes (support) is a limited resource, and is the reason I acquire leases. Making profit via leases is not easy, and really one must post consistently to offset what would be a loss or a break even point. The reason that I get leases is so that I can extend my support to more people, and hopefully make a little profit at the same time.

First and foremost I care about people, and don't judge them by their opinions. (unless it's just sickly offensive or disgusting, just keeping it real in that regard.)

I support PEOPLE, not their ideology.

Am I making sense?

That's it for my ramble.


Thank you for stopping by, I hope you're all having a wonderful day!


Much love,
@futuremind



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You have earned my "follow"... (thanks for the songs in the city) btw It's confusing to upvote and unfollow.. Why do that with that kind of excuse... Lol. And yes you made alot of points with your thoughts. You made alot of sense.

Thank you for the kind words @udezee! I'm really happy you enjoyed listening to the songs! It was totally unplanned and just happened lol, and turned out to be a lot of fun. We're going to have to do it again sometime!

I'm not really sure I understand people's logic when it comes to certain things, but the way I am, it's totally fine if someone wants to unfollow me, it's just not very likely that I will be supporting them again. Some might agree with that, and some might not, but it feels negative right? Especially when the logic is "I don't like your content." ok fine, goodbye! lol

I gave you a follow back! It's been great getting to know all of you in the city! :)

Hopefully... When you sing again. I hope I do make it to be around. Btw I am on the same stance with you... I'll definitely withdraw my engagement and traction and mind my business if that's the flimsy excuse that leads to an "unfollow"... Damn there are more people on the chain to redirect my engagement and following to.. Lol. I'll just evacuate their spot and refill it with someone else worthy of it.

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Yes it makes sense and kind of echos my feeling, I in the end stopped looking at notifications of unfollows I could find no logic to why often

Thank you for your thoughts regarding this topic @tattoodjay,

Yeah, it really defies logic much of the time, in my opinion. Especially when someone unfollows that you're supporting. Trying to figure that one out is a real conundrum.

Ohh yes it used to drive me crazy trying to make sense of it all

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Unfollows always stick in my mind and I tend to remember these people. GinaBOT shows unfollows too. I dont go asking them 'why', but if I ever meet them.. well that may be a little strange.

Hi @slobberchops,

It does seem like there is a "disconnect" so to speak with the implications that a real life encounter is definitely something that could happen in the future. That's a great point. I often wonder what I would say to certain individuals on this blockchain if I meet them in person. (some it might not be too pretty.)

GinaBOT did come to mind after posting this, I thought I heard it notifies of unfollows before, but believe it or not, I've never used Gina, despite having discord open 24/7, perhaps I should start utilizing it.

Thank you for your thoughts and engagement my friend.

!ENGAGE 50

It may be a reciprocal thing, 'I'm following, but he's not following back'.., the thing is I don't want to follow too many as I would then miss content from the people I really want to follow.

I think most of the accounts I'm following are probably dead accounts. Maybe a purge is due lol.

In this case it couldn't have been a reciprocal thing, because not only was I following him, but I was stopping by to regularly support him! Oh well, I can't read other's minds and assume their motives, but I definitely won't be supporting him anymore with his logic. It simply doesn't make sense to me, and I'm assuming he was only following me for a vote at this point and was probably not pleased with my support. I do my best to support many accounts, I guess I can't please everyone.

The VP will be better used elsewhere now as I see it.



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https://steem.makerwannabe.com/
Will let you see who followed/unfollwed along with some other cool features like number of resteems a specific topic had.

As for my opinion on the topic of unfollowing itself, an unfollow can be done for any reason. It could be as simple as a person doing a random purge to make their follow list shorter and their Feed more to their liking.

I always said there should be another feature called favorites in which we can pick to add content creators to from our follows list. The current system makes it too hard to follow/sort the conent of those who we very much want to visit daily vs. those who we want to visit weekly.

Its very seldom I visit my feed because of the poor system in place. I usually just type in the persons handle and visit their content that way or I check who comments/upvotes on my blog and visit them back to see if there is anything of interest I want to read/upvote.

Thank you for the resource @rentmoney!

Yes, there are various reasons one might unfollow, and that is why I tend to ask people, basically like "did I offend you somehow?"..

There could be some improvements and that "favorites" idea is pretty awesome imo.

I also barely ever visit my feed. I tend to just check out tribes, new posts section, and trending.

Thank you for the ENGAGE, as well as your thoughtful comment my friend.

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I think that makes sense.
But I want to add a little opinion, especially for those who do not like tolerance.
Because, we humans are different creatures from other living creatures, have thoughts, intellect, and feelings. However, with all of his thoughts, intellect and feelings humans cannot live alone. Humans need other people or other humans in their lives. Therefore humans are called social beings. And as a result of association with other humans, then life does not always run smoothly. Some of them will arise confusion and friction with other humans. Because every human being is basically unique, and cannot be compared.

To avoid confusion or friction with other people or other community groups or within students, tolerance is developed. The attitude that every human being must possess if he wants his life to succeed in the midst of society.

Tolerance is definitely necessary, and that is true, we are a social species, so people should really think about how their decisions and actions will affect others, as well as themselves in terms of "social opinion".

Thank you for your kind thoughts my friend <3

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I had a look at the link posted by rentmoney to see my unfollows. Looks like quite a few people find me a bore:)
I think I've only ever unfollowed one account and that was recently because he'd ceased posting himself and had started resteeming posts in huge numbers.

Haha, you must not be too boring, because futuremind has been following you for a while now ;)

Massive resteems and posting madness from alts is certainly a thing here. To me that is a reasonable unfollow.

I try to engage with all of my active followers and people I'm following. It's not easy to keep up with everyone, despite ranking high up in Asher's engagement league, I still struggle to keep up with everyone, even being a fast typist. My brain doesn't work as fast as my fingers sometimes.

I'll try to get on over to your blog soon and engage with your not-so-boring self 🤪

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This is in interesting. I used to try and see why someone unfollowed me, but decided I didn't really want to know, I will concentrate on the people who are following. I would only unfollow if the posts are like spam or plagiarized. Even then I would not unfollow after just a few times. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt.

If a person unfollows you for a seemingly nonsensical reason, there is a high likeliness they will respond with something nonsensical.

I agree with your perspective, it's probably not worth the mental energy to even think about.

Thank you for your thoughts <3

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I do see unfollow notification on steemworld too if not mistaken beside esteem. To me, getting unfollowed is quite normal. I can’t really just bump in and ask why. However, I just keep doing what I’m doing so to retain who ever still follows.

I notice steemworld shows notification for the unfollowers account, but not my account.

Many people won't ask, but I don't mind putting someone on the spot, especially if I've been supporting them. People show their true colors through behaviors oftentimes, more so than their words.

Thank you for your thoughts! :)

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Hi Jake,

I guess we will never know why people do what they do.

But personally, I like to reciprocate. When people follow me, I will return the favour. However, if there is 1) no engagement 2) they are not voting for my posts, (they don't to upvote every post, but just the ones they like), and 3) their posts are not what I am looking for, then I will unfollow them. I go through my feed everyday, and I see no point for their posts to be there. They are just clutter.

Once in a while, I will do a purge. When people I am following show no interest in me or my posts, nor my efforts to engage, I will just unfollow them.

That is why I follow or unfollow. I just assumed that's what others do too. So, it doesn't bother me if someone unfollows me.

Hi Vince,

I agree, there are some logical reasons for unfollows, and I also purge once in a while for similar reasons as those you've listed. There are also some reasons that seem illogical to me.

I think I over complicate things too much sometimes.

Thank you kindly for your thoughts as always. I hope you are having a nice week.

!ENGAGE 50

You are welcome Jake. Thank you for the tokens. I hope you are having a great week too. 😊



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Hello Jacob, how are u doing? I feel a little sad if someone stops following me. But it was their decision to stop following or follow me. but some people have their own reasons to stop following someone like when they do power down and they feel they have no more power to support the people they follow. Have a nice day, sir.Hello Jacob, how are u doing? I feel a little sad if someone stops following me. But it was their decision to stop following or follow me. but some people have their own reasons to stop following someone like when they do power down and they feel they have no more power to support the people whom they follow. Have a nice day, sir.

Hi @elianaelisma,
I am well, how are you?
You raise a great point here, I agree.
I would never stop following a beautiful talented woman like yourself 💖

!ENGAGE 50

Thank u my friend. 😙

😙😉💕



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Thanks for mentioning eSteem app. Kindly join our Discord or Telegram channels to learn more about eSteem, don't miss our amazing updates.
Follow @esteemapp as well!

Love and hugs!

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I received several unfollowing because people no longer cared about what I wrote. I never felt sorry for it because it seems to me that it is normal.

No one is saying you should feel sorry for it. Actions have consequences, and in this case the consequence is you won't get my support again. Simple.

I'm not holding a grudge, I have my opinions, you have yours. It's not like I'm flagging you or being aggressive.

If you think my logic is silly, that is your prerogative, but why would I support someone who unfollows me because of not liking my content?

You know where I stand, and I know where you stand. Best wishes to you sir.

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:)

Would love to hear your thoughts on this topic. :)

Well, I wouldn't want to intrude, but, if you insist...

I think the follow/unfollow think is too cheap and disorganized to be "useful".

I follow everyone I'm even vaguely interested in, and most of the people who follow me never interact with me in any way.

I find it much more useful to delegate tiny amounts of steem to the accounts I'm actually interested in (sort of like pa.treon, but without all the credit-card-and-personal-info-sharing). That gives me a ranked list, and I can adjust my "interest" at any time, so it's dynamic. I also like that on steemworld I can quickly scan over the names and see their current rank and steem-power. If I see someone who looks a little low on rank and or steem-power, I check out their stuff to see if they need some upvotes and or more delegation.

I usually add people I've had at least brief conversations with and think I might like to follow-up on at some, non-specific time in the future.

Well, I wouldn't want to intrude, but, if you insist...

It's never an intrusion when you're invited into someone's home :P

I don't think I was clear, sorry about that. I linked a post in my response, my recent post, but I do appreciate your thoughts on this topic too! and no obligation friend, for thoughts with my new post. I only recommended it to you because I value your opinion, but never any obligation of course.

I find it much more useful to delegate tiny amounts of steem to the accounts I'm actually interested in (sort of like pa.treon, but without all the credit-card-and-personal-info-sharing). That gives me a ranked list, and I can adjust my "interest" at any time, so it's dynamic. I also like that on steemworld I can quickly scan over the names and see their current rank and steem-power. If I see someone who looks a little low on rank and or steem-power, I check out their stuff to see if they need some upvotes and or more delegation.

I find this to be a very creative and thoughtful manner in both giving support to those you're interested in, as well as the Steemworld ranking order. Very interesting and unique, creative indeed :)

Sometimes I think I put too much "thought energy" into certain things. I agree with your perspective that the follow mechanism is somewhat useless in some aspects/respects.

Thank you so much for your thoughts! :)

PS. Why you declining rewards again eh? :P

No worries, I'll just reward you with some

!ENGAGE 50

Thanks, you're too kind.

I'm always a little hesitant because I tend to go 100% critique without even noticing.

Why am I declining rewards?

Imagine a "democratic" system, where you could vote for your elected officials, but your vote only "counted" as much as you "invested" in the election system itself (election tokens)... Now that by itself sounds reasonably "fair".

bUT, now imagine that anyone with a larger "investment" in the election system could ERASE your vote?

Would you continue voting? Or would you just give directly to the candidate of your choosing?



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People become friends here, and we all have different thoughts, values, opinions, likes, dislikes, ect ect.. From time to time, you might see a post from a friend here that you really don't agree with or even like. Does that warrant an unfollow? Well shit, if it does, then I don't think I would have made it this far with a decently successful blog on Steem!

You know what's the best part about making friends here on steemit and discord! (Almost) No one knows each other prior to the point of interaction on these platforms. Thus no one judges you based on your past. It’s like everyone has a clean slate, with no prejudiced judgement!

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I've asked countless times to please stop, so now I will downvote these comments.

So clever @overall-servant,
Next time I'll wait until after you vote so that I can apply the proper downvote percentage. @spaminator, @steemcleaners, @steemflagrewards, where ya at?

We got you. See how fast and easy @steemflagrewards is compared to any alternatives? Are we not one of the best and most underappreciated moderation element on the blockchain?

Thank you, @futuremind. Hope to be able to continue to serve Steem. (but Not Tron-It)

Thank you SFR! lol @ Tron-it, despite the fact that it's not a funny situation at all.

Are we not one of the best and most underappreciated moderation element on the blockchain?

You guys definitely have my appreciation. I'm not sure what I dislike more, vote buying (and the ridiculous justifications and analogies people use to justify it) or SPAM with the intent to farm... ugh..

Keep up the great work! :)