RE: My Doctors are trying to kill me
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Thanks for the awesome comment. I am going to be taking a more holistic approach with my recovery as I move forward with this. My wife has been trying to get me to do more meditation and stuff like that and I have tried it in the past, but I have always had hard times focusing, so I quit, but I think I am just going to have to force myself to continue with it until I can hopefully make it through a session though.
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You are welcome. There is a lot of misunderstanding and various interpretations of meditations, it's aims and it's process. A lot of people firstly think they don't have the 'time' to do it, but then as they do it they realise that it helps them create a balance that actually results in them having more time! The other major issue I see in others is that they try to force themselves to sit still or 'quieten down'. I feel this is not helpful because for me, meditation is a journey of self learning and evolution much more than it is simply 'a way of being still'. At first it is a way of identifying how much noise is in us and how easily distracted we are.. However, often what is distracting us internally is an array of beliefs and judgements that simply aren't true. Our inner turmoil and confusion leads to a constant buzzing of thought and emotion which is not simple to stop. However, the more we are curious about the causes of our internal state, the more we can start to chip away at some of it and uncover what is at it's roots. It's a particular problem to try to pull away from emotions or just 'observe' them. I have learned that if I need to be emotional while meditating, it is very important that I allow that energy to express as movement/sound, rather than trying to force it away. The more we move and express our held emotional charges, the more calm we become organically, without the need for any kind of force or denial.
My suggestions are to focus on simply being. When you are drawn in to a part of yourself, your feelings, your body, your mind/spirit, go there and be aware of what is there. Feel everything and do what you can to be compassionately receptive to your REAL needs. Much of society's conditioning has us full of ideas about what we 'should' want or think we want, but usually we are not so clear of what we really need. It is possible to feel/hear what we really need internally and to then act on it - which can bring welcome relief! <3