When we have our issues I see my friend and not my wife.

When we have our issues I see my friend and not my wife.

I graduated a month ago and my mother called me one day into her room. I was scared because we usually do not have anything serious that would warrant seclusion and such privacy.

I got to her room and before I even sat down the next thing I heard was when are you getting married?

I was shocked although it was expected however, I didn't expect it to come this soon.

I told her I wasn't in any serious relationship. She wasn't happy with the response I gave her. Then I told her that I intended on getting into a serious relationship with a friend of mine that she knew.

I wasn't dating my friend but this same friend who my mother doesn't seem to agree with is the same person that understands me to some extent more than most people.

I was not happy about what she said and of course, a serious argument ensued.

So I asked her why didn't she want my friend? Although she's not the person marrying, just to know her thinking process. She said it was because she was from the Opobo, a place in Rivers state.
I was baffled and I asked her what she had against Opobo people?
She said her problem was the fact that she had to cross a body of water to get to her village. The rites of marriage in Africa are done in the woman's home and for us to perform those rites she has to cross the river leading to the place. I asked her if that was the only reason she said yes. I didn't have any response at the time although I knew something was fishing.

A few days later She came to tell me about a girl she wanted me to meet. Well, in the days of the old in Africa, match-making used to be done by the parents and most times they pick one of their friend's daughter or son.

I was disgusted by the idea and told her I was not going to see anybody. I mean who still does match-making these days.

Enough of the story...

There are a lot of failed marriages in the world and the rate of divorce is increasing every day. I am so scared of divorce as I am a product of a broken home and I know how it feels.

I might not know so much but I feel that one of the reasons why some marriages fail may stem from the fact that the people involved didn't have adequate knowledge of each other.
They didn't go through friendship before eventually getting married.

I was a little worried about my mother's thought about marriage and I went to ask my cousin who has been married for a while and he said to me

I married my best friend and When we have our issues I see my friend and not my wife so settling issues become easier that way.

I feel that a lot of people do not understand what they are going into so they rush into it thinking they will feel that same way forever. They go in at the peak of their obsession with loving each other and think it will continue that way for life. Some don't even take time to study who they are getting married to, they just run in and eventually run out.

I feel marriage is a strong commitment that requires careful and proper studying of both parties involved. I also feel that the best person to marry is that person that makes you a better version of yourself. A person that both of you enjoy each other's company.

I also think that the requirement for marriage is not only love but love plays a vital role. Other things like mental capability, supportive nature, and financial ability play a huge role.

In summary, marriage found on friendship is what I stand for. Marriage is not for everyone. Finally, the last thing you should rush into is marriage

Just my thoughts tho...

Thank you for reading.