Having a goal is important to keep me motivated

About a week ago I was introduced to a job that didn't get paid by the task but per hour. I was very pleased to have the privilege to work on this job and set myself a goal for the next month. Even though I had no idea how many hours I could work as it was unclear how long this job was going to be available, I decided to set that goal for the next month anyway. This will help me stay focused on that goal. The goal is working a certain amount of hours that will be enough to pay two months deposit upfront for a new house or apartment. We will get our old deposit back as well but that's when we turn in our keys and already moved out. This is actually one of the reasons that I kept postponing looking for another apartment/house as the deposit was probably going to be an issue.

Flexible hours and making good money at the same time

So there it was a job offer which made me realize that moving out of this district never was more within reach than it is now. I only have to take the opportunity and just make the hours. Easy peasy, you'd think, right? First, there were technical issues that made me feel frustrated and not too eager to start working again. After a day it was all settled and working so I started working all the hours that my daughter was at the nursery. I was busy all the hours and felt pretty happy at the end of the day knowing that this was a great start towards the goal of the two months deposit.

The first days were quite hectic

I had to turn off my connection whenever I needed a break because calls kept coming in. And then slowly I noticed that I was working at inconvenient times compared to the other side of the line. Meaning: waiting, and often some more waiting. Some people will get very excited when they are paid (well) by the hour just to sit down and do nothing.
Getting rich while waiting, it's a lazy man's dream lol.

I hate it though, and I always hated it. When I was a teenager I found a job paying this amount per hour and that was TOP dollar (but then in another currency haha) at the time for my age. I was working 4 hour shifts in a team filled with lazy people that weren't motivated at all, the only thing they cared about was getting paid the 4 hours and doing as little as possible. So not the people that I love having around. I quit the job after 6 months (which felt like forever).

I get bored easily, and even when I get paid really well to wait, I start to hate it pretty quickly

At first, I told myself to work all the hours that my daughter is at the nursery because this way I can earn the money even faster. After a few days with some waiting hours in between, I started to tell myself that it's perfectly fine if it takes some more weeks because I also have to keep myself motivated. I expected that I'd be able to motivate myself doing this for 4 hours a day at least, but I was wrong. So wrong. I started today with 1 hour of waiting, and yes I will get paid that hour, but it's a very bad start of my day. Money can buy you a lot of things, but if it means I have to sit and wait for it, it won't buy me happiness to work at this job, lol.

Yesterday I didn't work at all

I was too sad (if it interests you, here's the post I wrote about that) and I decided I should seek distractions instead of crying behind my laptop all day. I sure wasn't able to work like this, and my eyes already started to hurt as well, so outside I went. Shopping. It's sales and I scored two great things in the thrift store. But yes, I feel guilty for not taking those hours while it's stupid (I know that). Today I decided that I wouldn't let the waiting take the overhand, and do a few other things in the meanwhile to check back tonight if there's more activity. If not, I will start my weekend early.
The upside to all of this is that I picked up my daughter quite early all week because I wasn't focussed on working anyway, so there was no point in leaving her at the nursery. I missed having her around and we took the afternoons to go to some shops I needed to go to.

Conclusion

The moral to the story is actually that I realized once again that having a good salary isn't the thing that will make me happy doing my job, I need diversity and I need to stay busy. Waiting for something that may or may not come is the worst thing you can do to me. I will keep those moments for when I have a lazy Netflix afternoon or something. When I'm working, I need to stay busy otherwise I will be so unhappy in a short amount of time. After one hour of waiting I start to yawn continuously without being able to stop and have a normal conversation. I'm getting old. LOL.

Have a good weekend!!

~Anouk