Mort the Shit Manager: 'The Bloody Nose'

in hive-170798 •  2 months ago 

Source: Image by @katharsisdrill

Mort, the Shit Manager is a spin-off fictional series of short stories based loosely on the thoughts of David Mortenson, the tyrannical Kwiksave store manager who features in my auto-biographical series 'The Horrors of Kwiksave'.

Other Articles in this Series:
Mort the Shit Manager: 'Oppression Supreme'
Mort the Shit Manager: 'The Armchair Club'



...'Summer 1980'...

Mort was floored.

Looking around in a daze, he stretched toward a pack of bog rolls on the nearby shelf to ease the blood flowing from his nostrils.

Tearing through the cellophane wrapping and oblivious to the many staring customers on all sides, he jammed the tissue up both orifices.

In the distance, he could see a tall, beefy stock lad exiting the store, who briefly swivelled to show some finger profanity before slamming the entrance door.

"Carrot, help I…", he groaned.

Carrot approached in a relaxed manner, a little too relaxed thought Mort.

Was he in on all this?


The thought went briefly though his twisted imagination before being dismissed. They had worked together for several years, been stock lads in the same store.

Carrot was his friend; yes there were no doubts,

"Another stock lad twatted you?", said Carrot pulling Mort to his feet while grimacing at the purple bruise and copious blood dripping from the sides of the stained bog roll.

"Next time, hire the weedy types, not those big burly bastards you keep interviewing", growled Mort spitting out some blood on the shop floor.

Carrot grinned inwardly. He would be interviewing the replacement stock lad tomorrow, another stocky looking, well-built bloke.

Mort was floored


Mort, the Shit Manager is a Serial Shitposting Fiction Story inspired by Torundel the Shitposter by @katharsisdrill, Ren du Lot, the Shit Lawyer by @vcelier and Nordlute, the Shit Sysadmin by @steevc.

Rules are:
211 words - Starting with the words "Mort" - First and last sentence are identical.



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Haha, this is cool shit

Does this world need a xxx the Shit Consultant by @detlev??

I'll make you a drawing if you write a piece. Just answer here and tell me what he looks like.

Hihoo @katharsisdrill

I love to write, I like the style - let's do it, as I love to write!

I will make you a shit consultant. Should I just invent his looks or is there something like hair colour or nose size or the like you want me to take into account?

You may use this and make something funny out of it...
Pls only little like the original...

Deal. I have to attend a funeral tomorrow, but I will make it Sunday

cool dear @katharsisdrill

The drawing is ready. You can just copy the line underneath the image: Here

  ·  last month Reveal Comment

dear @slobberchops. I did...

I myself cannot afford to fight anyone lest you will pulverize my bones @slobberchops LOL.

Oh that Carrot is a devious one. Mort perhaps should be a tad nicer to the stock lads. Think of the money the store lost on those rolls.

Having had the pleasure of your stock lad story, I found this is really fun to read.

Carrot was alright as far as managers go, he was the assistant so still had to bow to Mort!

Probably shouldn't have read this one first, but enjoyable all the same.

Thanks, they are all bite sized and it’s easy to catch the whole thing.

I hope to be up-to-speed fairly quickly :)

Very interesting! Any amount of truth to this or is it all a total fabrication?

is a spin-off fictional series of short stories

Maybe it did happen!

LOL! Good to see justice done. Are you living out your fantasies?

Maybe, who knows what happened 6 months before I did, I'm just making this up as I go along heh...