Mort the Shit Manager: 'Fresh Cream'

in hive-170798 •  last month  (edited)

Source: Image by @katharsisdrill

Mort, the Shit Manager is a spin-off fictional series of short stories based loosely on the thoughts of David Mortenson, the tyrannical Kwiksave store manager who features in my auto-biographical series 'The Horrors of Kwiksave'.

Other Articles in this Series:
Mort the Shit Manager: 'Oppression Supreme'
Mort the Shit Manager: 'The Armchair Club'
Mort the Shit Manager: 'The Bloody Nose'



...'November 1978'...

Mort despaired.

Almost two and a half years of tedious shelf filling was seemingly getting him nowhere. The Rochdale branch of Kwiksave felt like a nightmarish trap there was no escape from.

Bribing Buldge was not working; this particular boss did not feed on sycophantic behaviour and his attempts at arse licking had been met with pure scorn.

What the fuck do ye take me for wee laddie?’ whispered Bulge, ever so softly in Mort’s ear.

Buldge, like his namesake was a corpulent obese Scottish bloke approaching his mid-sixties and due for early retirement.

His belly hung over a badly fitted belt like a mass of quivering jelly, and rotated freely when walking during the rare times he left the office.


At 5’5, Buldge could be described as a living, balding barrel with absolutely no physical redeeming features.

Does ye enjoy fresh cream laddie?’, he continued in Mort’s ear, and without waiting for an answer wobbled toward the back-shop without a second glance.

Mort frowned upon the gluttonous figure ambling away with an air of nonchalance.

As if to add further insult, Buldge extravagantly cocked his leg mid-stride allowing a loud fart to emit from his gigantic arse.

Mort shuffled reluctantly off the shop floor and into the back-shop.

Mort despaired.


Mort, the Shit Manager is a Serial Shitposting Fiction Story inspired by Torundel the Shitposter by @katharsisdrill, Ren du Lot, the Shit Lawyer by @vcelier and Nordlute, the Shit Sysadmin by @steevc.

Rules are:
211 words - Starting with the words "Mort" - First and last sentence are identical.




Drooling Maniac.JPG

If you found this article so invigorating that you are now a positively googly-eyed, drooling lunatic with dripping saliva or even if you liked it just a bit, then please upvote, comment, rehive, engage me or all of these things.

Authors get paid when people like you upvote their post.
If you enjoyed what you read here, create your account today and start earning FREE STEEM!
Sort Order:  

Oh, Bulge is just as revolting as I imagined.

No! Better! Oh, how did you survive????

Upped and Reposted


I didn't join for another 2 years, I think old Buldge man had retired by then hehe...

Or died of a heart attack. Lucky you!!

He is just a figment of my disturbed imagination, nothing more!

Yes... mine too, as I read this. Carry on!

Wait, is Mort a stock boy or is he the manager? I thought I knew what was going on, but now I confused myself.

Arghh, not clear? These are the stock lad days.. I will amend it, thanks.

Trust me, it is probably just me. It has been a crazy week and this if the first I have sat down to actually do some work on Hive in like three days.

Some people have no self-respect. You have to wonder what motivates them.

@steevc, it's fiction and came from my warped head! I was at school during these times!

Still, there are plenty of people like that. As for the state of your head, that is a whole other area to investigate...

As for the state of your head, that is a whole other area to investigate...

Haha.. laughing...

That does sound like 2 1/2 years of pure torture. I hope Mort finds his way out of there without having to actually lick Buldge's ass. ick.

That is a horrible image that I cannot unsee!

I have no sympathy for Mort, the shit, and torture he put me through. I think another Horrors is due soon.

Ah! So we learn from this episode a bit about why Mort turned into such a shit. Nice.

I like the Bribing Buldge character on the story. And also you mentioned about the losses of the early retirement. In addition , it was really great to add a picture to make it easier for us to imagine the character...As a newcomer in Hive, it is really nice to see such beautiful things for me...Have a nice day

I wouldn't go as far as calling this 'beautiful', but thanks anyway.

Congratulations @slobberchops! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :

You got more than 14000 replies. Your next target is to reach 14500 replies.

You can view your badges on your board And compare to others on the Ranking
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word STOP

To support your work, I also upvoted your post!

Do not miss the last post from @hivebuzz:

Introducing HiveBuzz Shop - Offer gifts with your favorite badges
Support the HiveBuzz project. Vote for our proposal!

🎁 Hi @slobberchops! You have received 0.1 HIVE tip from @dswigle!

@dswigle wrote lately about: You Are My Sunshine Feel free to follow @dswigle if you like it :)

Sending tips with @tipU - how to guide.