Ikigai | Original Poetry

Hi @joeylim, this is a beautiful poem, beautifully executed. I love the way you have taken big philosophical ideas and put them into 26 words. I like the complex integrity of the language you have used, the long abstract rhyming words in the first half (aerial, existential), the clever use of "sinking" - also with its own internal rhyme - to lead us into the simple words that lead to "ikigai". The tension between each of the words carry us forward inexorably through the poem.

In addition to conflating big ideas into a few words, I like the poetic devices you have used: the rhyme "woe" and "toes" moving us from a conceptual idea to physicality; the soft sibillant alliteration: "sinking" "toes" "soft silt soil; the "not" and "but" and internal rhyme of "wings" and "sinking" connecting the different ideas in the poem; and the final rhythm in the double rhyme "finally I find" pulling us like a heartbeat.

My only problem is that this poem is also published on Medium. The The Ink Well Community Rules state: "No re-posts of previously published content or content that is published elsewhere in any form, in any sequence, other than your own blog. We are looking for unique, original creative work." This is because The Ink Well plans to become a go to destination for stunning poetry and short stories that cannot be found anywhere else on the Internet so that we can create a long-term long-tail income stream for writers, and The Ink Well is seeking external investment to help to do this.