I have tears in my eyes.
Shinny liquid pulling at the corners
Of that beautiful part of me.
Stinging as it crawls
Like fat balls down my cheeks.
Hot when I wiped it in frustration.
I’m letting it fall.
I don’t care it moves past my jaw
And down my throat.
The irregular patterns no longer bother me.
Appearances have disappeared.
My heart is full.
I begin to talk but can’t finish.
The words come out jumbled,
Broken like an old piece of furniture.
My voice cracks as I try to speak.
Maybe from keeping quiet for so long,
Or from exhaustion threatening to overwhelm.
I’ve always loved the silence,
Even when I try and fail to meditate.
I love it still.
Just me and nothingness.
There’s a lump in my throat.
Not from love or new found feelings,
Rather, from old pain ignored.
Past hurt shoved into the dark.
Swallowed like a hot liquid,
Forgotten like an unfinished liquor.
They’re all back to the surface
I’m neither ignoring nor encouraging.
It’s floating around and I don’t mind.
It bites my stomach day and night.
I’m too tired to fight back.
I do not want to be the water,
Or the well,
Or the ground.
I'm tired of being stepped on.
I do not have the story you yearn for.
I'm out of tales to regale you with.
You probably want to know what
I do in the dark,
And the places my fingers touch.
I can’t answer your questions anymore.
My cheeks ache from the endless fake smiles.
People always have a direction.
Young girls giggling to their unfunny jokes
While looking at themselves in the mirror.
Young boys checking out their muscles
While daydreaming about a girl.
I only have skin,
Miles of it,
Hidden under my underwear.
Maybe this tears would wipe it all away
And I get to start anew.
Maybe it would keep it all within reach,
Where I won’t be able to escape.
I’ve resigned everything to fate.
I live by the day,
Waking in the morning,
Going to bed at night.
The dreams steals in and out of my sleep,
But they don’t scare me anymore.
I will myself to forget at dawn.
You might disapprove
Of my new found method of escape.
I see you frown
When I narrate how happy it makes me.
The colour is back on my cheeks
I no longer worry
About the things you wish to hear.
I found my peace within me.
It will be a constant plague, this thing
But I'm ready to wait it out.
I'm finally free of you.
This piece is my entry to this week's Ink Well Poetry Challenge.
I'm not sure it qualifies. I started giving poetry a try about a year ago and I haven't been consistent. When I saw the prompt was on freedom as well as a free verse, I said why not? This piece is dark, like always.
I think @raj808 is succeeding in making me write more. Just when I wanted to give it all up. I'm focused on writing more for myself now. Good piece has a way of attracting the right crowd.
If you enjoy writing, then this community is for you. Come show us what you've got.