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RE: Tall Tales: An Engage The Weekend Game

in THE WEEKEND7 months ago (edited)

Oh! This is a good one. Tall tales are our specialty, only we do not question their veracity. We do not believe in witches, but we know they can fly.
I think that out of the tree stories the first one is a lie. Guys rarely get that lucky, unless they pay for it (of course, like witches, there will always come a sob who will prove me wrong).

Here are my stories. Only one of them is a tall-tale.

  1. I attended once a spiritist session with some relatives in my hometown. I must have been 10 or 11 by then. There was this uncle of mine who was a tough guy, tall and strong and who did not believe in witchery or anything supernatural. We were gathered with a bunch of other people, most of them strangers who had come to Yaguaraparo to see this lady, a nurse, who was a medium and whose divination powers were known far and wide. At one point, the lady was "visited" by this Indian spirit who spoke in broken Spanish. All of a sudden she (or the spirit that was possessing her) looked at my uncle and asked him, "you don't believe, right?". He was like, wtf, why me? The Indian/woman then asked for a knife, a sharp one. S/he was handed one by an assistant (the medium's husband) and proceeded to STAB him/herself! Several times! The knife cut/tore the nightgown the medium was wearing. I was shocked, not because the knife actually did not cause a single scratch on the body but because I could see the woman's breasts and underwear. It took me a while to get over this trauma and you made me relive it, thank you very much!
    When we tought we had seen enough my uncle smiled suggesting the knife was fake. The Indian read his mind and grab him by a hand and proceeded to force him test the blade. The poor man bled like a sacrificial lamb. He is a believer now.
  2. There was this storyteller in my town who attended wakes (which lasted 9 nights) just to tell stories. In one occasion, he started telling a tale that was so long people had to go to sleep and resume the next day early in the evening to continue listening to the story (don't ask me what the freaking story was about. It was too long and happened too long ago for me to remember). They did this for 9 nights, at the end of which the guy invited people to the wake of another person who had just passed because the tales was not over yet!
  3. A friend of mine who attended school in town, but who used to go hunting in the mountains nearby with his father and relatives (they had cocoa plantations in those hills) invited me to go hunting deer once. We had some home-altered shotguns that allowed for different amo to be used. I had never gone hunting and as it was expected I sucked at it. I let some big deer go by missing several chances. The last one was so fat my friend got desperate trying to shoot it. I had used all the amo, so he looked around and grab an avocado seed that was on the floor, put it in the gun and shot. He swore he had hit the deer, but the majestic animal ran away.
    The next summer we were hunting again. We went to the same area hoping to see that big deer again. As we were hiding in the bushes we saw some movement down a creek. It was a small tree moving. We could not believe it. We got close and the tree moved faster, even jumped away. It was the deer. My friend did hit it last year! An avocado tree had grown on the animal's back!
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Hmmm.

A crazy medium/witch went crazy with a knife and never got a scratch. Its plausible. She could have gotten the trick down perfect snd knew how to do it without cutting herself.

Number two I'm thinking totally happened. Everyone knows that one guy who tells stories but hever gets to the point. My sister is like that.

Number three i think is fake. I dont think you can chamber an avocado seed its too big. And what about the gunpowder.

I dunno we need our resident gun expert to weigh in.

Can you imagine what kinda chump I would have to be to not go party with the hot naked chicks....

.or.... Maybe I really was into my girl at the time even though she lived in another country and never would have found out.

Haha. You got it.

If the naked chicks story was true, and for the reasons you exposed, you belong to a special breed of saints.

I really want number three to be true, but alas, I'd have to see it with my own eyes to believe it. A truly great lie, but a lie nonetheless. Lol!

Nice work and thanks for joining in!

It was fun remembering these stories. It had been a while.
One of the things this damn pandemic, combined with our particular crisis, has done is to isolate us from friends and relatives, preventing us from sharing things present and past.

Memories can be comforting and enjoyable and especially in these pandemic-affected times it's good to think about better times, to smile and laugh about them.

I have some technical problems with #3. Among other things, I've tried at least 100 times to raise an avocado seed to a plant and failed every time with at least moderately careful tending.

Not to mention the ballistics and the pressure on that seed to get it down range.

Therefore #1 and #2 are gospel truth with #3 being bullshit.

🤣 🤣
Man, I laughed out loud. You know that desperate situations require desperate measures. I guess our weather helps. Avocado seeds germinate very easily here. So much so that if you break it into several parts you get several trees. 🤣
About the ballistics, these folks around here were very creatives. I remember a guy who had a gun that shot xmas tree lights. No gunpowder needed.

Ahahahahahaha. Just burned out lights right? He never stole them off of the neighbors???

I was leaning toward number 2 being false until reading story three. I just don't see how that deer could have managed to have a tree hanging out it's ass end without being hounded by all the village rabbits! I think he would have been pecked to death.

That witch must have been pretty hideous if seeing her breasts was traumatic.