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RE: Tall Tales: An Engage The Weekend Game

in THE WEEKEND7 months ago

3 Stories:

Number 1
When I was 13 I got a 2 year old half Arab half Quarter horse. She was a Palomino Mare and the Arab half was registered. She was green broke and I spent a year training her. When I was 14 we went to help a neighbor with his spring roundup. The neighbor had a kid my age who had a big roan Quarter horse. We had about 5 miles to ride to get back to their place in the evening so the kid and I decided to race home. My horse got the bit and I was completely out of control. She ran right through a 4 strand barbed wire fence. So with all the other things I've done to myself the worst crash I had was on a fucking horse.

Number 2
When I was a kid I shoveled so much shit that I was completely immune to it. I literally shoveled hundreds of tons every year. I was skinny as a rail, but I grew up one strong SOB. My freshman year in High School the coach hung a nickname on me that stuck for a while. It was a relief situation and he called me in from first base for my first ever varsity pitch. He knew I'd be nervous so he looked at me and said in a fairly loud voice "Pilot: Get in here and finish this game." Pilot? WTF did that mean? I asked him between innings and he allowed that it had to do with my reputation for shoveling shit. Pile it here, Pile it there.

Number 3

I was about 30 years old when I got my Springer Spaniel pup. The breeder was a friend of mine and when he bred his bitch he sold me a pup. I got second choice of the litter (the owner of the stud got first choice). I saw those pups on the second day of life when I helped my friend dock their tails. I saw them at least weekly for 7 weeks when the stud owner showed up to take his pup. I just knew he was going to take the big male that I wanted so I just hated going up there. He picked a really likely looking little bitch and I had my dog. Turned out to be my best dog ever. I swear to God the dog understood English at least as well as I did. Tough bastard, too. Killed a badger one on one.

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Those are all good, and I can see those stories all coming from you as legitimate. However... Number 2 was the only one you didn't really swear about, so I'm thinking that's the fib.

Damn Tom all three of those sound truthful to me. For number two what kind of job would a kid have that involved shoveling actual shit? You worked in a pig farm or something?

I say number 1 is fake. Partly because i wouldn't want a horse to run full steam into a barbwire fence.

The problem with you is that all of these could be totally legit, they're all believable.

I'm going to go with number one as the porky pie (Lie.)

I'll let you know tomorrow. I promise to have the results in time for your return to work Monday. It's the 14 hour thing.

Haha, deal.

So. I might take off a little early so I'm going to own my lie before @galenkp is up for work.

#2 is the lie. I shoveled my share of horse shit, chicken shit, cow shit and pig shit, but it wasn't thousands of tons, it was normal farm kid shoveling. I was skinny and whip strong but it was from moving water pipes. I wasn't a particularly good pitcher and didn't throw a pitch in a game until I was a junior in a blow out game....

That joke was pretty common when I was in High School, BTW :) Congratulations Victor!

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Wow so number two was the lie! I was fooled! Good job! I'll be posting thewinners inna few minutes including which story of mine was a lie.