RECOMMENDATIONS TO CALM THE BABY'S CRYING.

If there is one thing true about babies, especially when they are newborn, it is that they cry. It is the only way they have to communicate so it is normal that they do it regularly. If they want to express that they are cold, hungry, sleepy or just need a mother to carry them, they will use crying. To understand this, let's imagine that we have just arrived in a new "country" where we do not know the "rules" or speak the language. How would we feel? What would we do to make ourselves understood?

When my daughter was a baby she was very sensitive (she still is) and although she did not spend the day crying, the sudden changes and movements irritated her. This of course I understood over time. On the other hand, my son did have a stage, from two to four months, of uncontrollable crying. I did not know (and never knew for sure) what was due to his irritability and I "armed" myself with all the existing strategies to "survive". That is why I share some recommendations to follow when a baby cries:

1. To try to know what happens to him, let's go to the theory of discard: Is it hunger? Is it dream? Do you need a diaper change? Are you hot or cold? Any discomfort? When my daughter was a baby one night I called my doctor because she was crying and couldn't sleep. He told me, “Try breastfeeding again or a bottle of your milk. If he fell asleep he was hungrier ”. And so it happened. When I asked him how he knew it was hunger, he replied that he did not know, that he simply began to dismiss.

2. One strategy is to remove the clothes and make sure that they are well, that they do not have any thread or strands of hair skewered, any bite or even fever. If in doubt it is better to call the doctor.
   Rock it, walk it, sing to it, talk to it, dance it. Not all babies do the same, and sometimes "something works" and then stops. Therefore, we must try.

3. The outdoors is usually good for (the baby and his mother) so if possible, let's take him to a park or, failing that, a terrace or open space.
   Keep calm. This is essential because it is proven that the baby feels what the mother feels, therefore, if we despair, a “vicious circle” will be created and the baby can become even more irritable. If we feel that we are "about" to "lose our composure" it is advisable to put the baby in his crib or car, drink water, breathe and come back a few minutes later.

4. Distracting him with “something” that we know will capture his attention. My daughter was very relaxed by the music, whereas for my son, what calms him the most is the water. This is especially helpful in their "social hour" which is that time, at the end of the day, when children tend to be most irritable. So around 5:30 pm I give him his bath. However, sometimes when it is not time to bathe him and I want to calm him down, just turn on the tap and let him see and hear the water so that he relaxes.

5, Minimize stimuli and "forget about the world." It somewhat contradicts recommendations 1 and 4, but sometimes the baby is tired or "collapsed" due to the amount of stimulation he has received during the day and the only thing that works is to lock us with him in a completely dark room, carry him close to the chest, sing to him or whisper something very softly in his ear and wait. If we are in a public place, let's find a secluded corner or get out. If it is in the house of someone you know, let's ask for another room, and let's focus only on the baby. Nothing else matters.
Ask ourselves what happens to us. When babies are particularly fussy, it is sometimes a reflection of the mother who is upset or upset about something but has no consciousness. Once we identify the emotion, and realize that it is ours and not the baby's, we can work on the way we feel and thus contain the little one.

1. Search for a company. When all else fails, sometimes the solution is to add someone else to the “mom-baby” formula, preferably a trusted person with whom we feel relaxed and calm. It can be a grandmother or another mom friend. With this, the baby may not stop crying immediately, but we will feel better and little by little so will he. I remember when my son was three months old, he had a crying fit in a park. I didn't know what to do because nothing was working and another mom whom I didn't know at the time offered to help me. She changed his diaper, then carried it while she was talking to me and a few minutes later when I was calm she gave it back to me. Asking for help should not be a reason for shame, on the contrary, it is smart to admit that we cannot alone