Punday Monday 251

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Welcome to Punday Monday!

We’re now posting in Comedy Open Mic: https://peakd.com/c/hive-164166/created, and thanks to @amirtheawesome1, the winner will receive 2HBD from them!

tl;dr

Make a pun about the topic of the week,
This week’s topic is Houseguests.
Here's how to make a pun, if you don't know: https://peakd.com/contest/@improv/puns-and-prizes-learn-to-pun-easy-fun-anybody-can-be-a-hit-at-parties

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New To Punday?

Pull up a stool, order a spiked PUNch, and get to know some of the regulars. I'm your PUNtender, @improv.

How To Make a Pun

This contest is open to everyone. Here's a handy dandy guide on how to make a pun: Learn to Pun

Rules for the PUN-test:

  • If you hope to win a prize [1 100% upvote per punster, 1 HSBI for a win, 2 HBD for the winner from Comedy Open Mic thanks to @amirtheawesome1], your pun must be your original work
  • Puns must be relevant to the topic of the week to win a prize, but they can be very loosely related.

Last Week's Punday Monday:

Here is last week's Punday Monday, and all the puns that were eligible to win this week are in the comments!

Hang on to your PUNderwear. The Winner of This Week's PUNday Monday Is...

OH, WAS THAT NOT ENOUGH POMP AND CIRCUMSTANCE FOR YOU?

How’s THIS:

DRUMROLL PLEASE…..

Winner is @kennysplash

This Week's Pun Topic Is:

Houseguests
As in,
When the late Sonny’s spouse stayed over, she wanted to call her friend, Mr. Campbell to invite him to join us for a morning repast. I was already making the pancakes, but Cher ring Beck fast wasn’t out of the question.

I'm So Good at Puns

If you've never punned before, it might seem like magic! You can do it, too! Learn how in My Free How-To Guide on Punning!

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14 comments
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After multiple servings of Cheerios, my guests began to suspect they’d overstayed their welcome…

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I used to rent houses out every once in a while to throw amazing table top role playing game parties...but the last time we got a little out of hand, with my friend Larry slicing the dining room table in half with his 3 foot broad sword.

I guess we won't be doing anymore AIR D&D's anytime soon...

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Every time I come home from school for winter break my mom whips up her special recipe-slathered eggs Benedict for breakfast. The smell is the first thing I'm greeted with in the morning... Yeah, there's nothing liked being home for the hollandaise!

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Someone who doesn't like guests coming to talk a lot, he putted a doped in the food for everyone to sleep until morning and then go away. very intelligent

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A doctor was waiting for guests to come, so he is surprised by a thief in the house, he was afraid and told him "drug me first then kill me"

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(Edited)

Wow thanks! That's amazing.
Here's one for the week...

My wife and I planned to invite one person each to our house. She invited her friend and I invited mine too, who is a reporter. They both got into a fight and Wifey's friend threw a grill at my friend's face.
The attack made headlines.

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I hear you have the inside ice cream scoop on this one lol

Congratulations on your epic win!

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My dog is a Welsh Terrier. He does a great job when I tell him to sit and stay.
However when I call him, It takes awhile for him to get up and amble over to me.

He always over stays his welsh come.

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I'm glad to be having some houseguests over for the weekend. Now I'll finally have a chance to make my world famous omelette. I've been told it's eggcelent.

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I recently asked a friend to come to my home, and they started laughing when I told them I lived on top of a summit. Apparently that's "hill"arious!

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I invited some animals over to my pool party
It was all going well till elephant fell into the pool

Lion: oh no, elephant can't swim!

Me: of course he can, he has his trunks on

Zebra: this is not the time to make puns! Elephant is drowning!

Me: don't worry about it... ivorything's fine

Elephant: HEEEEELLLP!!

Me: ...

Me: wow, you're screaming pretty loudly, I guess you really want to be HERD.

Monkey: do something you fool!!!

Me: I am doing something, in fact I'm doing two things, watching elephant drown and making puns.
I guess you could say I'm good at multi-tusking😎

*unfortunately elephant didn't make it, but this information is irrelephant.

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(Edited)

during the american revolution benjanin franklin led an historical delegation in paris to gather support for the american cause. relying on their animosity toward england, his days were busy among the french elite but his nights were equally busy among their demimondaines. after some days, a less worldly junior member of the american delegation asked him directly
"Sir, where do you spend your nights?"
franklin considered the question to be impertinent but being a true diplomat, after careful deliberation replied wisely,
"Time is money, young man."

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(Edited)

I grew up on the mean streets of Cleveland, but I never noticed how mean they were until I started driving... These potholes are truly something else!untitled.gif

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