"Slapping Window Peepers" by RFY (HF)

The world is made up of this and that. It's not always fun, but I try my darnedest to do what I can for the greater comedic good! You dig?

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

17 Jul. 2023

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Expletive Bunny" by Richard F. Yates (Holy Fool)

[Felt pen on reclaimed cardboard with digital embellishments and color.] Some bunnies like squeaky clean lives - but other bunnies have seen some difficult things. They are grounded in the grit and grime of life, and sometimes, they use curse words! (Gosh!) ---Richard F. Yates (Holy Fool)

https://objkt.com/asset/KT1F94smAkoLSgNT7PLaxYj7Ba1SKqXfGjsY/521

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"A Hundred and One Assumptions" by Richard F. Yates (Holy Fool)

[Ultra fine point Sharpie on reclaimed cardboard with digital embellishments and color.] I draw words sometimes. Those words are silly, sometimes, but not always. I LOVE the way these words LOOK. How 'bout you? ---Richard F. Yates (Holy Fool)

https://objkt.com/asset/KT1F94smAkoLSgNT7PLaxYj7Ba1SKqXfGjsY/522

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"The Plan Can't Fail" by Richard F. Yates (Holy Fool)

[Felt pen, ballpoint pen, paint pen, and colored pencil on reclaimed cardboard with digital embellishments and color manipulation.] We studied the plan. It was fool-proof! It would work. It HAD to work! We would MAKE IT WORK!!! (No... I haven't been drinking...) ---Richard F. Yates (Holy Fool)

https://objkt.com/asset/KT1F94smAkoLSgNT7PLaxYj7Ba1SKqXfGjsY/523

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

18 Jul. 2023

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Posted to Typed.art]:

I just realized that I am supposed to be a potential anti-christ. I was born on the 18th. 18 is 3 x 6. 666. Thanks Mom! (I share a birthday with Hunter S. Thompson, by the way.)

So what should I do with my anti-christ powers? Maybe I'll teach Christians to be nice to each other AND to people who AREN'T just like them. Humans (though flawed) deserve as much of a chance at life as any blade of grass, gopher, sea horse, or slime mold. I declare, with my power as an "18 child," that humans are at least as alive as slime mold! (Although, humans are definitely more dangerous than any fungus.) STILL, as an anti-christ-in-potentia, it is my WILL that the humans, regardless of race, religion, skin pigmentation, sexual preference or orientation, clothing choices, or food consumption, be allowed to DO THEIR THING without some asshead telling them that they are evil or wrong or perverted or somehow LESS THAN HUMAN. I also declare that any creature attempting to FORCE OTHERS TO BEHAVE AS IF THEY THINK AND BELIEVE JUST LIKE THEM be stripped naked and tattooed across the chest with the phrase: "I HAVE BEEN ACTING LIKE A FASCIST BULLY ASSHEAD, but I will try to be better." The idea isn't to mock or cause pain, but to let the message be seen both by the perpetrator (when they look in the mirror) AND by any potential future victims (who will know to run.)

LET IT BE...

I suppose some might find my pronouncement offensive. Some might worry that I'm trying to "take over the world for my master, Satan." This is silly. Satan makes a great character in stories, as interpreted by popular culture, but the CONCEPT of an anti-god is just as ridiculous as the idea of an anti-christ. Don't be drawn in by compelling narratives! Stories are meant to entertain and inform, and they can be vessels for great truths, but all of them (especially this one) should be consumed with an understanding that stories are CREATED - they are TOLD - and shaped by the teller, not born perfect into the world at the will of an invisible sky being with a beard. (Beards are cool though, right?)

I want to make this part clear: I'm not telling anyone what to believe or how they should think or how they should act when they are in their own homes or with a group of consenting adults. I am specifically stating that FUCKERS who want to force their will and beliefs and behaviors on others be EXPLICITLY told to kiss my ass. (Although, not literally, because I'm in a long term, monogamous relationship with my person, and I don't share my ass with anyone else.) If your deeply held religious beliefs say that you must avoid cupcakes completely in order to receive your eternal reward, then by all means, leave the extra cupcakes for ME! You have every right to believe this idea, and nobody should be able to FORCE you to eat and enjoy delicious cupcakes. BUT!!! Fuck you if you think that I should ALSO avoid all cupcakes. I don't share your beliefs. I don't believe that avoiding delicious desserts is the key to eternal salvation. I like cupcakes and I'm going to eat them (when I'm in the mood.) Your beliefs and convictions guide YOUR actions. Making cupcakes ILLEGAL doesn't make others enjoy them less, it makes you a FASCIST BULLY ASSHEAD. (See appropriate punishment above.)

Are we clear? Will anyone who might learn from this ever read it? (No.) Am I preaching to the perverted? Almost certainly. Is that going to STOP ME? Are you kidding!? I'm probably the ANTI-CHRIST! I get to do whatever I want! (It's in the contract! Just read Revelations [and try not to laugh! It's great shit!!!]) So... That's enough fantasy for today. Thanks for stopping by!!!

---Richard F. Yates (Unholy Fool)

https://typed.art/10035

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Grudge" by Richard F. Yates (Holy Fool)

[Felt pen and brush pen on reclaimed cardboard with digital embellishments and not much else.] Hunter S. Thompson's birthday was July 18th. If you've never read FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS or THE RUM DIARIES, you really need to. This image is NOT meant to be Thompson - primarily because I'm not equipped to draw portraiture. Instead, this piece REMINDS me of Hunter Thompson. It's got the attitude. It's a little tattered and trashed, but it just don't care. Let's face it... This drawing is gonzo... ---Richard F. Yates (Holy Fool)

https://objkt.com/asset/KT1F94smAkoLSgNT7PLaxYj7Ba1SKqXfGjsY/524

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

19 Jul. 2023

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Posted to Typed.art]

FORCED WRITING PROJECT JULY 2023 (003)

(Ready?? Let's FICTION:)

+++++++++++++

Astral projection had failed, so the package had to be sent by FedEx...

The coffee joint was quiet. Unearthly stillness hung in the air, and this made Ulalume uncomfortable in ways that would have made her brother laugh. (He had been gone for 13 years - missing - but that's not the issue at that moment.)

Ula skated her way to the coffee bar and knocked lightly at the oak planks. Skuffling and perplexity ensued, as a young person - far too young, if age was dependent upon looks - rushed from the back through the swinging door and up to the counter. She was short, barely as tall as the cookie display, with red, curly hair. The sides of her head had been shaved nearly to the skin, and the plume of red swirls on top of her head bobbled as she brushed imaginary dust from her smock and looked Ula in the eye.

"I am so sorry! Forgot to get the... Anyway, sorry! What can I get ya?"

Ula smiled. Seeing something alive and full of motion dispelled the QUIET that had set her on edge.

"It's okay. I'll have a large black coffee and a cranberry-orange muffin."

"Yes! I can do that... Oh, shit." The young attendant covered her mouth. "Sorry..."

"It' fine," Ula chuckled.

"No... I forgot to turn on the drip machine. Give me, like, two minutes!" She rushed over to the breakfast bin and tonged out a muffin. She dropped it on a paper plate, snagged a handful of napkins, and jettisoned the lot in front of Ula. "I'll be right back!" the girl said and raced over to the coffee maker to grab the pot and fill it with water.

Ula wasn't in a hurry, and the flustered performance by the new clerk was almost amusing enough to take her mind off her troubles, so she scooped up her plate, grabbed a blue plastic fork from the plastic-ware container, and started towards a table by the windows. It occured to her, as she was sitting down, that the clerk had forgotten to make her pay...

A few minutes and half a muffin later, Ula was called to the counter where she grabbed her coffee and ran her card through the slider. Somewhere on the EAST COAST, a banking executive got a tiny bit richer.

Ula, now quite comfortable, sipped her coffee, munched her cranberry-orange confection, and scrolled through endless screens on her phone while the red haired barista clanked and mumbled and thumped in the background. It was odd, though, how few people were out and about this morning, considering that the sun had been up for over an hour...

As Ula popped the last bite of muffin into her mouth and washed it down with bitterness, a shadow walked by the window... No... Not a shadow. It was Justin - the LAST person Ula had wanted to see - and he spotted her. He stopped, smiled, waved, and revised his trajectory, now heading for the door of the coffee shop. Ula wasn't ready for this. She hadn't figured out, yet, how she was going to break the news... She took a huge swig of coffee, downing the last of the cup, and practically dove for the coffee bar. This was going to be a TWO CUP morning...minimum...

+++++++++++++

https://typed.art/10042

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Tired Eyes" by Richard F. Yates (Holy Fool)

[Ballpoint pen on notebook page with digital embellishments and color.] Ned Contrast always felt awkward in public. Sure, his face was in his torso, but what really bothered him was the fact that he had been bald since he was in grade school. He thought about buying a toupee, but wasn't exactly sure where he'd put it! ---Richard F. Yates (Holy Fool)

https://teia.art/objkt/829294

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Cluck on the Run" by RFY (HF)

[Ultra fine point Sharpie on reclaimed cardboard with digital embellishments and color removal.] The world can be a dangerous place, and Cluck McDuffy knew that danger first hand. It was time he flew this coop - before he got what was coming to him! ---Richard F. Yates (Holy Fool)

https://nftshowroom.com/gallery/richardfyates_back-to-primitivity_cluck-on-the-run-by-rfy-hf

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Still Alive (Alt. Vers.)" by Richard F. Yates (Holy Fool)

[Liner pen on paper over actual GRASS with digital embellishments and color.] Can you believe it? I'm still alive! I hope you are too, and if you're reading this, there's a good chance that all is well... ---Richard F. Yates (Holy Fool)

https://objkt.com/asset/KT1F94smAkoLSgNT7PLaxYj7Ba1SKqXfGjsY/525

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Reasonable Excuse" by Richard F. Yates (Holy Fool)

[Red gel pen on fancy paper with digital embellishments and minor color tweaking.] I am pro UFO visitation; pro parties (as long as I don't have to go); a massive fan of sending postcards to people; and I am decidedly AGAINST nakedness in the backyard. My dad was a full blown hippie, so he would probably have loved the idea of his great-grandkid running around in the nude, and we have a large wooden fence around the backyard, so it's not EXACTLY like she's parading in public, but I'm a crusty, prudish old grandpa, and I don't want other people having fun that I can't have! (Nobody wants ME running around naked...Trust me on this.) NO NUDITY IN THE BACKYARD!!! Thank you. ---Richard F. Yates (Holy Fool)

https://objkt.com/asset/KT1F94smAkoLSgNT7PLaxYj7Ba1SKqXfGjsY/526

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Posted to Typed.art]:

20 July 2023 - Time travel episode...

From things either written in or taped in to my MY NAME IS MUD notebook:

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

17 July 2023

[ _ ] No more booze or soda (health can be improved. [ _ ] Get some mobility...)
[ x ] Fold laundry.

Today, I am in the room (already made the bed) with no t.v., no music playing, no phone to stare at. Only the A.C. unit's shshshing drome keeping me entertained. I'm going to try to write fiction for a bit. (An hour, written above [in a different post]) cough (might be more than I can handle as a first attempt, but we'll see!)

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

still 17 July 2023

TO DO Tomorrow: [ x ] A.M. Pills [ x ] Make bed [ x ] Fiction writing
*[ x ] Write + publish BEACH post on HIVE [ x ] P.M. Pills

I think my writing project this morning went pretty well. [It's one of the Typed.art posts that I published a few days ago, I'm guessing on the 17th...] I just started writing, no plan at all, and STORY STUFF came out. I don't know if I'll keep THAT story going, but I'm definitely writing again tomorrow morning...

I could THINK about what I'm going to write tonight, and maybe I'll be more prepared tomorrow... I have STARTED a million stories [a slight exaggeration], but I've only ever COMPLETED a handful... What's that say about me?

Why are they still making Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies? (I mean, they must make some cash, right? If they're making $, they'll keep making movies.)

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Here is the text of the birthday card that Mariah gave me for my day of birth. I taped it into my notebook, cuz I do that kind of thing...]

"Birthday Salutations from Sir Turd Turdlington of East Crapshire" [turn page]

"'Ah, yes. A crappy day to you! Pip pip, cheerio!'"

"...and You Were Afraid Your Birthday Wouldn't Be Classy!"

[Hand written words by Mariah expressing her affection for me.]

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

18 July 2023

Writing Ideas: Anything??

---Ultraterrestrials are real, but ghosts aren't...
---The beginning of CLASH OF THE TITANS shows the gods standing around planning how they're going to screw with the humans... (Very silly.)
---Walking toast
---Night of the Living Onions
---Nature is just out there doing its own shit, and it really don't care about US (humans) until we get in its way. (Always leads to trouble.)
---Hallucinations come to life.
---Magical vending machine.
---Puppet parade goes wrong.
---Sink stopped with EVIL CLOG!
---Smile in the dark...
---(Old idea:) Garden attracts...
---BEEP BEEP BOOP BOOP
---101 Rabbits - All out for BLOOD!
---King of the Neighborhood!...

+++++++++++++

---Reading IS fundamental. It's as unnatural as FUCK, but it's incredible... Creates images in the mind, conveys useful information from brain to brain...communication from brain to brain... (Sort of...)
---The Science of Symbols.
---I wonder when the squid is going to wake up...
---Terror in the Wax Museum...
~Slobbering beast on the lawn.
---Framing device that allows multiple simultaneous stories...

---Gits
Zeromancer
Genesis
Peter Gabriel
Mudwimmin
[This is a shopping list for tunes...]

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

14 July 2023

Hey paper! How you been? My head hurts. Is MOTHMAN here?

Felicity and I are watching scary shows, cuz Frank [her mom / my daughter] stayed up late working on math homework.

Mucklefuss Dinklebunker [possible character name]... Giggle... Anger is an energy!

Shift my consciousness to the OTHER dimension. (One of sight and sound and mind...)

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

20 July 2023

Felicity and I are watching Jillian & Addy shows. The little kid likes these, even though they are scary. I like them, too, because they are funny... Someday, Mariah will come home for lunch.

Halloween is coming!!

It's too loud! Felicity says she likes it too loud... (PUNK!)

+++++++++++++

Postcards Going Out:

---"Get Well" to Mark Counts
---"Weird Face" to Ruth Allen
---"Bigfoot" to Bittty the Great

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Thus ends the time travel episode...for now! Thanks!]

---Richard F. Yates (Holy Fool)

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Pointless in Space" by Richard F. Yates (Holy Fool)

[Ballpoint pen on paper with digital embellishments and color.] You don't know what this means. I don't know what this means. Does that officially make this image pointless? (Even though there are several points in the piece... What a great contradiction!) ---Richard F. Yates (Holy Fool)

https://objkt.com/asset/KT1F94smAkoLSgNT7PLaxYj7Ba1SKqXfGjsY/527

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

---Fool....