Stop Pleasing People And Start Living Your Life
Trying to please everyone is a recipe for disaster. I've been there done that and I now I am done with that. Be it writing a post or in real life with people, I do what I feel like and live my life my own way. I believe only the people who are destined to be in your life will remain, the others come and go, so there is no point in over stretching yourself.
Why trying to please people is not good for you?
There are a many reasons for this but here I'll focus on a few here.
You lose your identity.
This is the single most important reason why trying to please people is bad for you. You are a unique person with unique thoughts and emotions so why follow someone mindlessly? Place value on your own thoughts and and emotions, don't get swayed by someone imposing their thoughts on you or let them indirectly coerce you in any way. Hold on to your point of view if it is reasonable and valid.
You are afraid to upset others
If people get upset by your valid thoughts and emotions so be it. If they have the right to be offended so do you. We just can't make everyone or anyone happy all the time. We need to accept that. That doesn't mean we have the license to be rude or trample on others' feelings. Be sensitive, but don't get stomped all over. Recognize when you are being manipulated. Remember people upset you all the time and don't care about it. Make sure you do not allow this thing to get under your skin.
You don't know your worth
When you try to please others all the time you need to know that your self-worth is pretty low. You rate yourself so low that you need to be validated by others. Their ideas become more important than yours. Sadly people-pleasers fail to recognize the fact that they are the main actors in their life story. Respect yourself.
You lie to yourself
That is true! When you agree with their ideas or pretend to agree with someone just so that you do not get into an argument or rub them the wrong way, you lie to yourself. While you think you keep your peace you allow your ideas to die a silent death.
You engage in Self sabotage
When you allow yourself to be manipulated just so that someone likes you, you tend to put their goals over yours. You work on your time for them and wonder why you are not as successful as the person you allow to dominate your life. You can never live up to your fullest potential this way. Smile and wave may seem like a good social skill but it doesn't aid your progress.
You will never be the boss
You will always be second in line to someone but never be the boss with this attitude. You need to learn to say' no' sometimes and assert yourself. You need to cut yourself away from such crippling ties and find your own path. It is never okay to be unfair to yourself.
Stop being afraid
Most of us are afraid to venture into new territory. It is easier to follow the footsteps of a pioneer, there is nothing wrong with that, However, if you follow just because you are afraid of saying no or afraid of hurting the other person you may never overcome your fears. You would just remain a shadow of yourself. You will never let the real you come to the fore and let your light shine.
Stop pleasing people and start living your own life!
Thanks or stopping by to read and respond.
-Agreed 100%! As long as we are not doing anything wrong and not damaging anyone. it's not our obligation to please others..we must be the ruler of our own life! Yes, self-worth we should protect and enhanced it..let them appreciate us by not pleasing them..in that way we will get satisfaction and contentment in everything we do!.. Have a blessed day!❤🌷
#dreemer
Its more like we are harming ourselves when we put our interests last.
We need to be at the driver's seat of our life, but often we get carried away by people and they way they influence us.
Have a great day yourself.
Thank for this, I agree with you that trying to pleases people is not good ideal because the time you should use for yourself, you will be using it for them.
And the funny part is that some will not appreciate your time, your love, your kind, it is only few do appreciate.
Because it happens to me, I love my sister and I like to please her but at end she let me down.
I feel shame of myself, I think about the time I wastes, the time I should have use to build myself and this really pain me.
But I said to myself just forget about her and face my life and that decision help my life
@hookup.pop I guess we all go through this learning process.
I know a lot of people who don't really appreciate your time or the amount of effort you put in.
They believe its their due.
Don't beat yourself over it, at least you did all you can for your sister, now do yourself a favour and be kind to yourself.
Have a lovely day!
Thank you, have take a step on that.
Excellent, best wishes to you.
Oh! See even a family member can turn us down not to speak of an outsider! You can do without her dear. Pick up the pieces and move on.
Thank you, I appreciate and have did that really
Personally speaking doing something for a family member is still okay, but when we waste our time of those that don't even care for us, it is worse. They just have their own agenda to keep us tied to them.
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That was hard-hitting but oh so true
Been there, done that too... and right now a WIP :D
All of us are WIP LOL no one is perfect.
I hate being manipulated and I walk into the same net over and over again.
Learning to say a simple two letter word like 'no' seems so hard at times.
Talking about hard hitting do you remember I told you about a response I wrote to your post titled Why do you write? (I think)
That post is still in my draft because it was too hard hitting.
Sometimes I hate the sound of my written voice, it gets way too forceful.
Its more like I am speaking to myself than to anyone:D
I think I need post like this here everyday staring at me in the face in case I wanna forget who I am then this would serve as a reminder. Nice post @sofs-su. Have a slice of !PIZZA
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Thanks for the Pizza @teknon. Glad you found this reminder useful. Appreciate you stopping by.
Wow sofs this is powerful and I'm so honored to read it as my first post for today, it has energized me to read more hehehe
It's true that most people try to live their lives to please others and they forget that every person has his or her own story to write with life.
Trying to please people will only hurt in the end, it's certain. There's no joy in displeasing yourself just not to get into the bad book of people.
Thanks for sharing sofs.
Thank you @merit.ahama Glad you liked this as much as you did.
Yeah, you've got that right. Keep your best interest in mind first, I am not saying be selfish, but never compromise, no one cares for your growth (except your loved ones of course) as much as you do
Sometimes it's even more frustrating. A lot of people knows this deep down but taking that step to actually living for themselves can be difficult. Beautifully written.
That is true, most of us know this and still we make the same mistakes.
Thank you fro your kind words, much appreciated.
The truth of the matter is that human can never be please.. Even if you try your possible best their will still see some faulty in one way or the other..
However anything that we do,we do it for the seek of love and we shouldn't expect them to pay us back only God can reward a man..
Things you can not do in secret don't pretend as if you can do it in public always be yourself as the writer as say and let people know the exact place you belong to..
Hmm.. that is right we can never please anyone 100% all the time. accepting that fact is half the work done.
This is not doing stuff for the sake of love, here were are taking about those who manipulate us and keep us tied to their apron strings.
When it is love its a different ball game all together.
Thanks for stopping by @abbey877
100% agree! When people write about what truly matters to them, what truly interests them...when they write about things about which THEY are passionate, it shows. And when they do that well, with integrity, it draws others to their works, and they get the privilege of being able to share and engage with a wider audience, which in turn provides greater opportunity for learning and growth. Great article!
Thank you so much @samsmith1971
I take that as a compliment.
Thanks for your kind words.
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STOPTo support your work, I also upvoted your post!
Your title both grabbed my attention and also summarized your post at the same time. I couldn't agree more with this:
People don't realize the disservice they do to themselves and others by not leading an authentic life. It's not really living, imo. It's crucial to be the captain of one's own ship, while at the same time striking a balance in being respectful and considerate of others.
Well written post and love the way you've covered each point you've made. 🤗
Thank you so much @nineclaws.
Yes, when we are not true to ourselves we do ourselves a disservice.
I agree with you on striking the right balance.
Thanks for stopping by.
You're welcome, it was a pleasure to read your post.