Show me that healthy ego
EGO
Is a small ego a healthy ego or is a big ego a healthy ego?
Is there a healthy ego?
Is there a sick ego?
I began with a google search for the word "ego" and all I got was a shoe store. This concluded to me that Google has a sick ego.
We still haven't even found the the definitions of ego, healthy ego or sick ego but Google doesn't consider that important. After all there are shoes to sell. Now is there something wrong with this search engine or is it just my ego speaking?
In psychology Feud categorized the human personality into three parts: The Id, Ego and the superego. In Freud's theory the Id is like the basic instinct part. The ego is what he calls "that part of the id which has been modified by the direct influence of the external world." In other words it's the mediator between the basic instinct and the real world. The basic instinct is strong but kept in check by the ego like a man riding a horse keeps the horse in check by holding on the reins. The superego strives towards perfection persuading the ego with moralistic goals.
I think the struggle between ID versus super ego is best depicted in Homer Simpson.
Ego Search Results
Homer Simpson Id, Ego, Super Ego
Today the definition of "ego" basically means what a person thinks of themselves. It looks to me like people treat "ego" the same as self-esteem.
One can have a small ego or a large ego.
A small ego cannot be considered a healthy ego they put themselves down. They think they can't do anything right or are afraid to even try. They are the kids in class who have their head down on the desk from the start of class. They are just convinced they can't do "it", whatever "it" is.
The opposite group is the group with the large ego. They are sometimes called the self-absorbed narcissistic people. They are right always right and will prove it. They are convinced they are the best and can do anything better than anyone else.
So what is a healthy ego? Is it somewhat in the middle?
Is there a medium ego?
A healthy ego is a healthy self-regard. They have inner "ego strength” to not explode when spoken of.
Litmus test of healthy ego:
- Get some good constructive criticism from others
- Realize a difficult truth about yourself
How do you react?
A. a spiral of self-condemnation
B. a narcissistic explosion
C. a fair self-evaluation with adjustments if necessary
There's your litmus test.
A healthy ego will acknowledge one’s own limitations and not be afraid to show weaknesses. It won't be constantly defensive when it is threatened but it can more on and do what it has to do. One who has a healthy ego has a firm sense of self-worth and competence but doesn't have to brag about it.
A - Small Ego
B - Big Ego
C - Healthy Ego
Why even care?
Self examination is the number one preventative medicine.
Ask yourself why you respond to things the way you do. Everyone can take some room to grow.
Growing up in the 1970s most of us learned this on the playground. Today we take it to the social media and interactive gaming world. The learning curve gets a lot steeper. Still we can see who we are in our comments. These comments can be a highly volatile playing field.
Last month around this time I wrote a simple post about Labor Day and got an interesting comment that still boggles my mind.
Today's Playground
https://www.proofofbrain.io/hive-150329/@mineopoly/international-workers-day
It doesn't seem to be the response of a healthy ego. I don't know if it was the stress from covid related problems or maybe just too much bull from the bull market but my friend lost control of his ego. Maybe he was trying to be funny but I didn't get the joke.
It's worth it to take two minutes today and consider where does your ego stand. Are you a senseless add on google search pushing your way to the top of the listings? Are you a snail curled up in your shell because you are afraid of any more criticism?
Who are you really and what is your self worth?
My organic chemistry professor would say to often:
The human body consists of
Carbon
Hydrogen
Nitrogen
Oxygen
Phosphor
Sulfur
Worth about $9.49 or one bottle of Butterscotch Schnapps.
Oh CHNOPS!!
No matter how you make the argument there the true value of a human being comes from inside. It's not what you have done or what you know. It's how you use what you have today to do something great. And if nothing great happens how you can get up and even enjoy the learning experience from failure.
There will always be this way between Id and superego but its time to grow up!
Go outside and get some fresh air.
Don't vent on me.
By the way... how do you think I answered that dude's comment?
I'll have to check to see how you've personally replied the guy with the putrid comment. I think it wasn't meant to be a joke else, there should be a boderline. A certain kind of high point where you'll see the comics
Nevertheless I believe that we all need healthy ego. Sometimes what we think of ourselves matters a lot. Having ego doesn't necessarily mean pride or being selfish and just like you've rightly classified it. What we deem it ourselves is always important else, how would we value ourselves?
I guess a lot of people can of course also learn from this week's questions, ego isn't necessarily something we can solely synonymous with pride or overly "self-ish"
Thank you for a reassuring comment @josediccus.
It was necessary for me to check the definition before beginning.^^
I think the expression ... ish just became popular again.
Yeah it was necessary because sometimes we Just seem to even learn something different from what we originally thought we know everything about.
Thanks for keeping me on my toes.
I don't know if you checked my posts or not about Healthy egoism is needed !. But, I explained there what I mean by healthy ego. It's not related to health or something. That means the useful ego, kind of metaphor that means that not all the ego is bad.
Cool. I will check it out @clixmoney. Thanks for letting me know.
Yeah, that comment was literally begging for a downvote. Your response, however, was very cool headed, reasonable, and probably the best way to take the wind out of his sails. The way he reacted to your reply shows that there may be a dent in his own self perception. Too bad, but there's a reason for everything.
Thanks for looking into it @stortebeker. I think he wanted me to downvote him and he got his down vote from a friend of mine. I think if a person can read and write they have some hope. Maybe I will continue the conversation but I'm pretty tired with it.
Of course there's hope. Trolls like him are usually capable of adopting various perspectives. In fact, I can even imagine that after a while they could even share some of your views. But what's in their way of decent communication is this practice they've learned from the trolls on mainstream social media. But with a combination of a painful downvote, and that supportive reply from your side, hopefully he may feel the encouragement to change his style a bit.
Yes @stortebeker it's like a wake up call. I met my best friend in middle school after being punched in the face. We are still friends today :)
Oh wow... sounds like a crazy story!
However wrote that comment was rude , why do people just decide to say hurtful things.
It was a deliberate action of hurt to a person he had no previous experience with. This is just one example of so many in the world. The question is how should we respond?
I believe in a healthy ego when it comes to a conscious ego.
This concept may seem difficult to understand (because ego is a word associated with bad things), but at some point in our lives, we will need to be self-centered to get where we want to go.
I have to think about this some more. I'm not sure I agree even though it is necessary although it is our nature to be self-centered.
That comment reminds me of a saga that's brewing back home. Basically someone tried to buy sneakers online and got told by the seller to go 'eff his mother'.
The buyer created a second account and got the seller to meet up for a sale. Turns out the seller is some teen acting tough and his balls shrank when confronted. That whole episode is hilarious and reminds me not to take internet comments too seriously.
Smile and remember he is somebody's son.