Ever Felt The Feeling Of Being Unheard ?
Have you ever felt you are not been listened to? Or what you say does not matter at all to the person you are talking to?
How do you feel when such happens to you?
We may have experienced this one way or the other but what is our reaction towards it?
I have noticed and agree that listening to someone while they talk makes the person feel appreciated and important. Even though you don't like the talk, giving a listening ear and suggestions or agreeing to what the person is saying goes a long a way in making the person value you.
A person can be really down when he or she feels his or her voice is not being heard especially when they feel they are saying something very important.
I will say here that I am guilty of this. Before now, I hardly give listening ears to someone who needs it especially my brother. Yeah, my younger brother is the type that hardly talks at home if he is not singing so anytime he talks, he wants everyone to listen to him but I'm always the elder sister who hardly listens to him.
The truth is, I didn't see anything wrong then or even thought it would have affected him in some way. But some months ago, he said something to me that I've always put in mind since then. He told me, he feels like he's not appreciated as a child in the home but he's trying not to take it to heart because he knows it's not entirely true. He said that trying not to make me feel bad.
But I felt bad about what he said and I even felt worse when a neighbor affirm to what he said, that my sister and I don't always like to give our brother a listening ear most times. So now, I have worked more on myself to listen more and value every word I hear from anyone.
Appreciate every talk you have with a person by listening and giving a good feedback
I've had a time where I felt what my brother felt then and I understood more about that feeling of being unheard.
I was talking to a friend of mine, Nancy about my visit to an old school mate. I told Nancy how I was treated with so much care even when they were not having much, I felt so grateful that I was almost in tears while still talking to Nancy.
But then Nancy said something that killed that feeling in me immediately. "How much do you think that Lady's gown would cost me?" she asked pointing at a lady passing by. I was so shocked to know that she has not been listening to me. I felt sad about the situation and I told her immediately that she was wrong, she apologized and I forgave her.
My advice is that when you feel unheard, it's wise you try to get the persons attention first and voice it out more or you give your listener sometime and say it later.
When it comes to communication, listening is very important. it's not just about the person that is listening but it also helps the speaker to feel appreciated.
The thing is, whenever someone speaks and he feels like the listeners are not paying attention, if demoralizes most of them. The same thing is applicable whether in formal or informal discussion.
Listening to people when they talk is an act we all should master. Most of us are guilty of not listening, sometimes we do it unknowingly.
I think we have all had one or two times when we feel we were not being listened to. I get irritated when I talked and the person I am talking to is not listening. So I try as much as possible not to be that person who does not listen.
True my dear, not listening to someone when they talk can be really hurtful so we shouldn't act as such.