Impact On Others .:. Why it's easier to help a stranger than to your family?

in GEMS2 months ago (edited)

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It was Christmas yesterday, and it's usually a time when people (re)connect with the family and friends in the celebration of a holiday when Christ has born... I saw an interesting meme/image (again) and it says something like... Christmas is a holiday where people gather with family and friends to celebrate the birth of Jesus who was born alone in the barn...

I would like to thank everyone who commented on my Christmas blog post and you guys and girls, are one big guide for me... You show me the way where to go, and help me in my growth... On that journey, I hope that I'm doing my part and help you also... Those comments have inspired me to create this vlog, which is a bit more personal and I hope that you will not mind that...

In the video, I was talking about my relationship with my father, my hopes in changing, and things that we sometimes wish for our closest one... Sometimes we would like to help, but it is a mutual thing... We can't help people if they don't need our help... If they don't embrace our advice and take action in the right direction... I'm not speaking about forcing someone to change to fit us, but about some obvious changes in life that will help the person itself... To live happier, more relaxed, with better relationships with others...

We can be bitter... we can be grumpy (me first)... But we shouldn't allow being like that ALL THE TIME... It's important to recognize that kind of behavior and try to change it... try to work on it...

Check out the video...

Thank you for your valuable time,

~ph~

Impact on others.jpg


Music in video:
Growing Up by Scott Buckley https://soundcloud.com/scottbuckley
Creative Commons — Attribution 3.0 Unported — CC BY 3.0


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Wow, this was a powerful vlog....yes, you are right. Everything starts with each of us as we work within ourselves & keep expanding our awareness & knowledge through life experiences or shadow work...

It really is interesting how easy it is to inspire & help others, but it can be a challenge to do so with the ones closest to us. While we have the desire to help & strive to do what we can, it won't work if that person isn't willing to meet half way. In some instances, such as your father, they tend to show their vulnerability when times are tough only...

I remember when I came home from a 2 week hospital stay a couple of years ago. I had come back from fighting death (quite literally) & when I was home for the first month or so, everything seemed so surreal. The petty things I would worry about didn't matter anymore & neither did trivial conversations. Being in a state of clarity, that only this kind of experience can provide, I felt changed from inside out....but as time passed, I started grounding myself again, getting healthier & integrating with the world we live in...it was an interesting transition.... even though I was back to "reality", I still keep those moments of clarity that, to this day, hit me from time to time...

It is different for everyone, but I think as long as we keep working on ourselves, show compassion & do our best to help those who want to be helped (or perhaps even inspiring others that we will never know about), it will help us be better versions as well...

Speaking for myself, you inspire me every day & I have learned a lot from you... on Hive & off...that is why I am blessed to have you as my best friend. (No bias here ;)) I have also seen how you inspire others as well. Just worth mentioning that!

Thanks for an awesome vlog for the books, Zoltan, & have a wonderful weekend!💚🙏🏻🤗

In some instances, such as your father, they tend to show their vulnerability when times are tough only...

...and that's sadnesses me a lot... But, as you said, if we can't meet half way, it's impossible to help, change, or whatever else... like everything else in life, it's a two-way street...

It's good to keep in mind things like your experience when you came from a hospital... to remind yourself to not take things for granted...

Thank you for your kind words... It nice to have friends all around the world... You can always find someone to get you fired up, inspired, or motivated! :)

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Truth is that closest one judges your advice by number of failures and setback you get and on another hand outsider judges your advice by the number of success you achieved,

Anyway keep trying but don't press or do not get disturbed at all.

Truth is that closest one judges your advice by number of failures

I wouldn't say that this is always the case... I mean, it is in my case, but I think that there are different people/parents who don't react or judge in that way...

And yes, there is no sense to make additional pressure or trying to "convince" someone... It's just a waste of time... And it's not right...

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If they don't embrace our advice and take action in the right direction

I've made it a rule to not help someone out anymore with a certain problem if the person doesn't want the help or refuses to realize there is a problem. In the end you can only act in a positive and motivating manner towards that person and hope they come to a conclusion on their own.

I've made it a rule to not help someone out anymore with a certain problem if the person doesn't want the help or refuses to realize there is a problem.

Yeah... that's a good rule... It's like when you have a discussion with your girlfriend/wife... You know that it has no sense to go for it... as you have lost from the beginning... It's better just to move on, and spare some time... lol...

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as you have lost from the beginning

Lol. No comment. 🤣

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It's always tricky to help people around us, especially the very close ones. I think that there are so many emotions between family members that makes it quite difficult to accept counsels from each other. It can be quite frustrating. I learned this lesson many times over, especially with my mom and my brother. We want to help each other but it's very difficult to accept this help. I think it's much easier to get the same input from somebody that you don't have an emotional link with.

Yeah... it's complicated... There is a generation gap between parents and children, and very often, parents can't accept that child has "better" advice, as it is just a child... even if it is a 50-year-old child :) The same goes for brothers/sisters... And, yes, emotions are totally another point of view that has a bit influence on everything...

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