[ESP/ENG] 🔅Letter to my insecurity🔆
🔆¡Hola, Comunidad de Hive!🔆
🔆¡Hello, Hive Community!🔆
Spanish
Hola, desde hace un tiempo te veo desde segundo plano, he visto tu niñez, he visto tu preadolescencia, tu adolescencia completa y posiblemente siga viĂ©ndote un tiempo más…veo cĂłmo creces cada dĂa más por razones que ni tĂş ni yo podemos controlar, Por ello hoy he decidido hacerte esta carta, quizás asĂ pueda desahogarme y tĂş entender un poco más mis frustraciones…
Desde hace tanto veo tu aparición, observo tu origen y cómo creces a la mis velocidad que yo, a veces me canso yo primero que tú y eso me frustra más…entiendo de dónde vienes pero quisiera pensar que llegarás a donde quieres ir…hoy dejo de verte en mute y decido hablarte, honesta y sinceramente, vengo a dejar plasmado como me he sentido al verte todos estos años, cómo me has limitado a realizar cosas, vestir cosas, perder oportunidades, personas o lugares…cómo te encastras en mà hasta hacerme dudar de cada cosa.
English
Hello, for some time now I have been watching you from the background, I have seen your childhood, I have seen your pre-adolescence, your complete adolescence and possibly I will continue watching you for a while more...I see how you grow every day for reasons that neither you nor I can control, so today I decided to write you this letter, maybe this way I can unburden myself and you can understand a little more my frustrations...
For so long I have been watching your appearance, I observe your origin and how you grow at the same speed as me, sometimes I get tired first and that frustrates me more...I understand where you come from but I would like to think that you will get to where you want to go...today I stop seeing you in mute and I decide to talk to you, honestly and sincerely, I come to let you know how I have felt seeing you all these years, how you have limited me to do things, wear things, lose opportunities, people or places...how you get stuck in me until you make me doubt everything.
Esta carta sĂ© que no será una despedida definitiva, yo entiendo que no te marcharás sin dar tu batalla y necesito estar preparada para combatirte, pero más allá, desahogo cada letra para hacerte entender quĂ© más perdiendo terreno, ya no eres tan fuerte como al inicio, y aunque tengas dĂas mejores que yo…existen otros donde no has podido apagarme ni hacerme odiar…
Cada dĂa voy soltando mis cadenas conectadas a ti, cada dĂa mi voz la escuchas más fuerte, mis ganas crecen y mi perspectiva de ti…cambia, ya no eres un refugio ni un mecanismo de defensa, eres una enfermedad que debo curar. Ya no hace falta tu compañĂa, tus trataos bien frases, ya no hace falta tu odio contra mĂ, ni tu forma de pensar, ganaste tantas veces que debo enseñarte a perder tambiĂ©n y que por más que deseas quedar y perseverar y ya no puedo seguir siendo parte de tu show, no puedo ser espectador de mi propia destrucciĂłn, no te puedo seguir otorgando el fuego para quemarme, ya no puedo seguir impulsándotela a ahogarme.
I know this letter will not be a definitive farewell, I understand that you will not leave without giving your battle and I need to be prepared to fight you, but beyond that, I unburden each letter to make you understand that you are not as strong as at the beginning, and although you have better days than me... there are others where you have not been able to turn me off or make me hate you....
Every day I am releasing my chains connected to you, every day you hear my voice louder, my desire grows and my perspective of you...changes, you are no longer a refuge or a defense mechanism, you are a disease that I must cure. I don't need your company anymore, your well phrased treats, I don't need your hatred against me anymore, nor your way of thinking, you won so many times that I must teach you to lose too and that no matter how much you want to stay and persevere I can no longer be part of your show, I can no longer be a spectator of my own destruction, I can no longer give you the fire to burn me, I can no longer keep on pushing you to drown me.
Hoy he logrado reunir todas las fuerzas posibles para hablarte, no eres fácil, tienes una coraza fuerte, eres muy a la defensiva y me juzgas todo el tiempo, tuviste años intimidandome, volviĂ©ndome indecisa, siendo un látigo para mĂ y mis acciones, este año en particular y el pasado tomaste la máxima cantidad de terreno que en todos los años juntos, pero ya no más…ya no más, te escuche la suficiente cantidad de tiempo, aunque no estuve de acuerdo con lo que me generabas nunca pude hacer nada contra ti, pero hasta hoy. Ya no es de mi interĂ©s lo que no te guste de mĂ, lo que no te parezca, lo que no sea de tus ideales o lo que los otros digan de mĂ, ya sin tu presencia podrĂ© volver a confiar en mĂ, en mi voz, en mis decisiones…
Today I managed to gather all the possible strength to talk to you, you are not easy, you have a strong armor, you are very defensive and you judge me all the time, you had years intimidating me, making me indecisive, being a whip for me and my actions, this year in particular and last year you took the maximum amount of ground that in all the years together, but no more...no more, I listened to you long enough, although I did not agree with what you generated me I could never do anything against you, but until today. It is no longer of my interest what you do not like about me, what you do not like, what is not of your ideals or what others say about me, now without your presence I will be able to trust me again, my voice, my decisions?
PodrĂ© deja de dudar de todo lo que hago, hablo o pienso, dejarĂ© de dudar de lo que realmente quiero, d darĂ© de mantenerme en la zona de confort por miedo, ya es hora de salir, de arriesgarme, de amarme, de luchar, es hora de confiar en lo que soy y lo que soy capaz de hacer, de lo que valgo y lo que merezco, ya me cansĂ© que pensarás que yo no merecĂa amor, que estar sola era lo ideal, te demostrarĂ© que asĂ no era y la equivocada entre las dos serás tĂş.
Agradezco si tus intenciones no fueron malas cĂłmo terminarĂan resultado, agradezco si acompañarme fue tu intenciĂłn pero terminaste nublándome como lo estabas tĂş, agradezco de todo lo que me enseñaste, la manera en que sin quererlo me armaste de valor y pude levantarme para luchar contra ti, agradezco que tu pensar haya echo más fuerte mis prioridades e ideales, sobre todo agradezco la experiencia que hasta hoy me brindas y la manera en que formaste parte de mĂ, sobre todo..agradezco que hayas sido tĂş quien me hiciese escribir esta carta…🤍.
I will stop doubting everything I do, talk or think, I will stop doubting what I really want, I will stop staying in the comfort zone out of fear, it is time to go out, to risk, to love myself, to fight, it is time to trust in what I am and what I am capable of doing, what I am worth and what I deserve, I am tired of thinking that I did not deserve love, that being alone was the ideal, I will show you that it was not so and the wrong one between the two will be you.
I am grateful if your intentions were not bad as they would end up being, I am grateful if accompanying me was your intention but you ended up clouding me as you were, I am grateful for everything you taught me, the way you unintentionally gave me courage and I could stand up to fight against you, I am grateful that your thinking has made my priorities and ideals stronger, above all I am grateful for the experience that until today you give me and the way you were part of me, above all...I am grateful that you were the one who made me write this letter... 🤍.
Gracias gracias por leerme hiversss, los quiero muchĂsimo y de todo corazĂłn este post fue muy especial, fue una idea que se me ocurriĂł muy espontánea y no pude dejar de redactarla, creo que internamente necesitaba escribir esta carta y dame un chance de escribirme a mĂ misma y mis inseguridad, saludos y nos estaremos leyendo prontito con más, espero les gustara⚡️🤍.
Thank you for reading me hiversss, I love you very much and from the bottom of my heart this post was very special, it was an idea that came to me very spontaneously and I could not stop writing it, I think I internally needed to write this letter and give me a chance to write to myself and my insecurity, greetings and we will be reading soon with more, I hope you like it⚡️🤍.
Good writing.
Good letter! We learn from our insecurities, fight, accept and finally get free.