I've Been Watching A Lot Of Mukbang Videos To Inspire Me To Eat

I am just fascinated on how some people could eat tons of food and personally I wanted to eat like them. I think the secret there was of course being healthy and having a big stomach.

I remember when I was in my first year high school that one of my classmates during our lunch break told me that I eat less then usual kids around. The rice container that I use as I remembered was very small.

Well I am just a small kid during that time and my stomach is also very small. Soon I was eating more and tried to eat like the other high school kids. My stomach didn't grew big but I was eating as much as I can to finish-up the rice that I am bringing for lunch.

Over the years I was really always trying to eat more because of my effort to gain weight as far back as I can remember. Little that I knew that there is already something wrong with my body because of a brewing kidney problem.

So I was just cursed of being not able to flourish with my body but instead the opposite happened after a few years on being a dialysis patient. My height just went from 5'6" to lower than my mother's height of 4'11" because of the collapse of my backbone.

Also my body mass got affected as well which made me get this stick appearance, being like skin and bones as my body went on to weaken until my weight reached around only 36 Kg now.

I had foregone the attempt to gain more weight because it will never going to happen unless maybe I will get a kidney transplant which is also too far to happen right now. The kidney transplant I think will be the only ticket for me to gain weight and possibly correct my parathyroid problem on the side.

Right now with my appetiteloss I am just take inspiration about other people making Mukbang videos and getting inspired to eat. My way for me to be able to eat is the space-out my meals so far in between. Sometimes I would space-out to far that I am like eating every 24 hours already so that I could build the urge the desire to eat.

It is because my Parathyroid medicines is making my life more difficult in that aspect of my like. Food is the only thing that I could enjoy in my life but that too was taken away from me which I am also in the effort of fighting back.

But I could never take out my Cinacalcet medicine, I needed it to shed-off some of my body's pain so that I will not get subjected again into the lingering pain that I suffered before. Better to suffer with a mild pain than a lingering one I reckon, so even though I am getting expended financially about my drug therapy I am still not stopping it for the said reasons.

But my prayer is in the future at least I can be able to enjoy even simple foods again and vanish this misery and hardship of appetiteloss that I am experiencing for quite a while now. May God help me.