I Am Worried About Another Extension Of The Lockdown 🔐⏰⛔🚶

I still haven't received my online order of my vitamin C, it is because of the lockdown. Online stores here in my place just stopped their delivery operations due to the lockdown or the "Enhanced Community Quarantine (ECQ)" and now I am in trouble of having a lower body level of vitamin C.

If my vitamin C level would get low, then I will definitely have a lower resistance against viruses. I could catch a cold and it might rsult in a flu or possibly a pneumonia. Then of course I will get susceptible to the CoviD since I belong to the high risk individuals with a pre-existing comorbidities.

That is the only worry I have, I do not care about what I eat anymore, I just want my resistance to go up so that I would have a chance to live longer and achieve my personal goals in my short life.

If the lockdown would get extended up to three months then things will turn ugly for me. Not only for me but for the whole country. This might turn into chaos when people with grumbling stomachs would begin to take measures to survive if the government runs out of funds plus if the CoViD infections gets out of hand.

I just pray that my parents would not get sick of the virus otherwise it will make my life harder than it is now. It is really hard to be physically dependent on someone considering that they will not be forever around. That is why I would wish that I want to die before my parents so that i will not experience more hardship in my life.

If only I could hire someone to take care of me then of course it would be better. But I am only barely earning for myself. The majority of my earnings just goes to my medicines and if not for all that I will not survive. Again I Just do not want to die a lingering death, I want it as fast as possible, preferably in my sleep. That is why I am still going for my dialysis because I am afraid of dying slowly. But I do not fear death anymore but suicide is not on the table, not an option for me unfortunately.

This body of mine is just a tough nut to crack, like an Everready battery it just keeps on going and going. So I would choose to keep on going and reach for the milestone of my lifetime, to be able to get my strength back, walk, be in my own place and enjoy my remaining life with guidance of God, i hope that God would bless my plans. May God hepls us all.