Welcome to the most trusted game review program on all of the internet, the only thunderdome where you can truly trust all of the data I'm about to pump into your rectum. We have a star studded extravaganza tonight, where I'll be going over the worst games to have come out in 2020. You might be saying to yourself "Aren't you kinda late to doing this? We're, like, 3 weeks into the new year almost." And, my response to you is shut up. You fucking nerd. Anyways. There'll be thrills, chills, and mostly just chills as a warning sign from your immune system, from how god awful these games were. So, put your tin foil cap on to protect against the 5G radiation, and lets just hop into things, eh?
3: Marvel's Avengers
We're starting this list off with quite possibly the worst superhero game ever released, Marvel's Avengers. Quite seriously one of the most boring, forgettable titles I've ever played. If you told me this game came out in 2010 on the Xbox 360 and was only in production for 6 months, I'd have certainly believed you. While the game isn't a broken pile of shit and plays smoothly for how it was designed, it is one of the most monotonous, bland games I have ever played. There was 0 passion put into this project, in my opinion, making it feel like they brought to life an AI to design an entire game after making it watch through Adam Sandler's film catalog. So, you know, making it absolutely soulless.
There is honestly nothing I can really compliment this game over. At no point back when I played it was I feeling any kind of dopamine rush. No part of the game makes you remotely happy or excited to be playing it. They couldn't even make an equipment system, something very basic, at all interesting or cool. Instead of finding some legendary equipment for your character that gives you a special attack with a neat new skin/outfit, you get a +3 damage for when you throw a jab at the enemy. Wow, how fucking riveting. It is just a dull, boring excuse of a game. I would take the Watchmen game from 2009, or the Cat woman game from 2004 over this garbage. At least those games provide a bit of entertainment from how dogshit they are. This doesn't even have that.
2: Watch Dogs Legion
But, don't worry. Watchdogs Legion takes being boring to a transcendent level. I had a hard time deciding if I wanted this to be my number one spot or not. I feel like this games only purpose would be to punish your children when they've been bad. "Oh, little Timmy, you drank grandpa's ashes because you thought it was chocolate milk? 5 hours of playing Watchdogs Legion for you then." This game is at least 50 times more boring than the Avenger's game, which was honestly kind of shocking for me. The gameplay is insanely boring, the narrative is terrible, the dialogue is terrible. The voice acting sounds like they made the voice actors overdose on Ambien before they began recording their lines. It has no emotion behind it and feels so flat and monotone, it's just terrible.
It's supposed to be an open world game, however, the world feels absolutely desolate. I think exploring a nuclear wasteland would probably feel more alive than exploring around in this game. The game lacks lots of things, and what we do get is all sub par shit. You could go stick your dick into an ant hill, and that would be a more exciting, fun adventure than playing through the story of this game. I honestly can't say anything good about this game, it is dreadful and quite possibly the most boring game I have played in the past decade. There's a reason this game sold so poorly, and I truly hope that will keep them from shitting out anymore games for this series.
1: Fast and Furious Crossroads
Finally, we've arrived to the star of this post, the greatest piece of garbage that has been released in some time. That's right, I'm talking about Fast and Furious Crossroads: aka, family simulator 2020. This game breaks through the wall of being such an absolutely terrible fucking game, that it hits levels of being amazing to watch unfold. In a similar vein, I'd compare it to something like Birdemic or The Room, where it's taking itself seriously and thinks it's actually doing great, completely unaware that it's actually giving the world a mouthful of chronic diarrhea spraying from its dilapidated ass. And, I am 100 percent serious in saying this, this game is probably the most shamefully bad video game to come out in the last 5 or 6 years. If someone were to gift you this game, you should consider that as a statement that they hope you get testicular cancer.
Anything and everything that could go wrong, does go wrong with this game. If I picked this up without knowing anything about it or how I was playing it, I would assume it was a PS2 game that came out in the early 2000's without any QA testing. It is so baffling bad you'll question why this even exists and how it was allowed entry into our world at this point of time. But, it does all of this so well you cannot help but laugh and just be entertained by how god awful it all is. I'd really like to thank Vin Diesel, for flopping his cock out onto the foreheads of gamers around the universe with this dumpster fire masterpiece. I'm sure my hands will feel shame for generations to come from having touched this abomination against all of creation, but man, it was certainly worth it.
Well, that'll about do it. I hope you've enjoyed me wrapping up the worst games of the past year in a little bundle for you. I could have probably included a few more on my list, but I missed a lot of the games that dropped in the last year. And, some, like the recent Madden game, were kind of redundant to include. Since, you straight up already know you're about to roll around in a puddle of old urine if you actually play that game. I think 2021 is going to have a hard time beating out 2020 for being a terrible year for gaming, but I guess we'll see what happens. Thanks for stopping by to poison your mind for a few minutes. I hope my attempt at brainwashing you to give me your HIVE has worked and that I can finally retire from writing about things that make me feel like I have contracted aids from a snake out in the woods.
Until next time, doods.