What's up, you gamer gunk covered fucks? So, this post is for two things. To give my initial impressions on the PS5 console, and to brag that I got a fucking Playstation 5 for free, pussyyyyy. So, how'd I get it for free, you're probably asking? Well, by being an absolute, god damn winner, baby. The winner of a sweepstakes that is. Yes, that's right, not all sweepstakes are just scams to farm your info to sell to someone who wants to call you 489 times about your cars extended warranty. I entered into a sweepstakes back in October that the cereal company General Mills was running for giving away some PS5's and some instant win prizes. Well, I have an addiction to General Mills cereal bars so I ended up entering twice into the giveaway and forgetting all about it.
Until the start of this month, when I got an email saying I won a PS5. Which I honestly thought was a scam and that I was going to get a follow up emailing asking for my social security and credit card numbers. But, instead, a Playstation 5 new in box showed up to my apartment. Leaving me kind of in shock that I actually won something that wasn't just a stale bag of peanuts from the gas station. I'm honestly even more surprised I won with only two entries into it after googling a bit about the promotion. As people were apparently acting like apes and ripping open the cereal boxes at stores and stealing the codes to turn them in online. Probably while also defecating into their hands and throwing it while sitting atop a burning car. You know, since we're in covid times and all.
So, yeah, I guess all my RNG luck is probably gone out the window now with this happening. There was absolutely no chance I was able to or would even be willing to spend $700-900 on one from a scalper on ebay or locally. I'll prep myself to get absolutely shit on the rest of the year now, I suppose. But, now that we've got that out of the way, lets talk about the actual console.
The first thing I'll mention is the Playstation 5's size, holy shit. This thing is like a portable monument to gamers. If you have any concern over fitting these next gen consoles into your entertainment space, you'll definitely have to work around this thing probably. As, it's literally almost as tall as my 43" TV. Even if you have the base installed on it so it can lay sideways, it's going to eat up a lot of space. Definitely not a fat ass brick like the newest version of the Xbox, but still considerably large to the point of almost being a PC tower. But, at least this thing looks like Kaiba's jacket from Yu-gi-oh, so that's some huge bonus points for the design, in my opinion.
Spec wise, the system is pretty awesome. You get the full 60FPS with 4K experience without any issue. The SSD inside the console makes booting/loading times insanely fast, where you can load up a game from the home screen in about 5-6 seconds and then get from the main menu screen into the game in about 3-4 seconds. Long loading screens are the bane of my existence, so it was honestly pretty refreshing to see it has the capability to respond like someone who has an addiction to taking speed and caffeine pills. The only thing I don't like about the console is the limited hard drive space, you get around 650GB's of space after the system files eat up a shit ton. In this day and age, that's literally about 5 games installed digitally. So, that kind of sucks some fat ass, at least to me. I would have been much happier if the console gave you a full terabyte hard drive to play with.
Unlike the previous generation of consoles, you can't even use an external hard drive for storing PS5 games either. You can still use one for any PS4 games you'd like to go back and play, but for now you might as well just basically be stuck with a homeless mans finger up your ass. There is some good news though, as it looks like pretty soon you'll be able to upgrade your storage space on the PS5 due to each console having an empty M.2 expansion slot. So, while you'll have to invest a bit more into your console, it at least should give us enough storage where games like Cyberpunk and Call of Duty don't take up literally one third of your storage space.
The controller for this console is an insane upgrade from the PS4 controller. The ergonomics are a huge upgrade from the previous gen, it feels 100 times better to hold and use. The tech that has went into it will also blow you away. It's hard to actually describe the feelings of using it. You can feel pretty much every action that happens inside of the game through the controller vibrations. There's haptic feedback in the triggers where you'll feel tension when you're doing certain things, localized vibrations to specific parts of the controller for certain actions/events. Just tons of cool shit has went into the controllers for this console. This all kind of probably sounds like an incompressible gimmick being described by a meth chemist, as this really is something you have to try out yourself to fully understand. The battery life on the controller is also pretty good, clocking in at around 7-8 hours.
The final thing I'll touch on is the UI. It's pretty similar to the user interface that we got with the playstation 4. Though, there have been some minor changes here and there. Probably the best change for it is the playstation store is no longer a sloppy fucking mess. From what I understand, it's been integrated directly into the system so they're one and the same. Meaning you don't have to download a secondary app to access the store and deal with all the bullshit that comes along with that. It's not a revolutionary UI that reinvents the fleshlight or anything like that, but it is definitely solid enough and doesn't really have any issues.
Overall, I am just super excited for the next generation of games we're going to be getting. Even though they're all going to be $70 a pop, meaning I'll have to really start e-begging you succulent folks for more crypto so I can afford to get games to review. Give me money, you fucking suckers. But, uh, yeah. This was my initial impression of the PS5 and how I feel about it. Hopefully it was a bit informal to you, while also letting me show my erection over using up all of my RNG luck for the entire year.
Until next time, doods.