What's up, you greasy virgins? Today we're going to be talking about Marvel's Avengers game which just recently dropped. This game was published by Square Enix (You know, those guys who used to make great Final Fantasy games), and developed by Crystal Dynamics (The people behind all of the recent Tomb Raider games). So, you'd figure that this game would actually be pretty good considering who's all involved with it. And, I'll be upfront with you all and say that it is a pretty okay game. But, my god, was I just absolutely fucking bored to the point where I'd rather glue a bar to my nipple and twist it around while playing it. But, before you start trying to hit me with your crusty cum soaked comic books, lets get into why I felt like that.
While not a terrible story, this games narrative is pretty cookie cutter generic. There's not a whole lot to chew on here, most of what's happening is pretty silly, to be honest. Having people want to remove their super powers seems very goofy, and like a dumb fucking problem to have. Yeah, fuck your god like abilities, just go back to your lacrosse team where you get nutsack's smacked across your face by the entire team, little Timmy. There's nothing very fun with the writing of the story, and it's just very mediocre overall. There are a shit ton of superhero tropes riddled throughout it, and it just feels kinda lazy to me. This isn't a story you'll probably remember, and I really don't see how any of it would stick with you unless you're actually 7 years old. But, it's not a bad narrative. Again, it's just very generic.
The dialogue also falls into the same kind of category, with one exception which we'll get to in a second. Pretty much all of the dialogue in the game is eye rolling, it's all very gaudy and just feels like it was following bare standard writing guidelines. I can't shit on it too hard, but again, it is so boring and generic. The voice over work is also pretty flaccid, with some characters actors feeling like they were phoning their role in pretty hard at times. Maybe this is just because they constantly have people talking and throwing out cheesy one liners non stop throughout this fucking game. Seriously, there's no quiet moment in this game, to be honest. You can be walking into a wall for 20 minutes straight and there will probably be constant conversations happening. It's just a bit grating to me, maybe because it was always boring. But, there is one shining piece of the dialogue in the game that shows just how much the devs truly cared about the game, and here it is babyboi's.
Anyways, lets talk about the main component of this game, the combat. I can definitely say that the combat is passable for sure, but that's about it. I did not enjoy the combat in this game, it is insanely repetitive. Besides the boss battles, there is pretty much only 3 enemy types that you'll run into for the 10 hours of this game. So, not much variety here. The objectives follow the same route where you're basically doing menial tasks while defending against enemy waves like discount gears of war. Again, and again, and again. It's just very fucking boring after about an hour of playing the game, in my opinion.
Fighting enemies always just feels like how you feel when you're cleaning your bathroom or running an errand, boring. Even during a boss fight, you could probably just fall asleep with how non engaging they are. There are a few that literally are as difficult as a fetch quest, it's some sad shit. You can occasionally do a fun combo, but most of the fighting feels very slow paced and like each character's body is made from a barrel of molasses. And, that molasses comment proves itself further, because when you actually start hitting your enemy in the game it sounds like someone ripping ass into a stack of pancakes. I don't know why the sound design is so bad for this game, but it's like they used a sound effect pack from 10 years ago. It's definitely a bit disappointing and never gives any satisfying feeling. At least for me that is.
There's a skill tree system implemented into the game to allow you some versatility in how you approach the combat with new abilities. But, honestly, it doesn't really feel like it matters at any point in the game. There's also a barebones loot system tossed in to help you try and min max skills/abilities. But, I'll be honest. My first hour of playing the game did not feel any different than my last hour of playing the game. While done well enough, I never felt like these components actually had any noticeable effect on the gameplay and it certainly never helped to make things feel fun.
The final thing I'll touch on with the gameplay is the world/level design of the game. It is honestly surprising to me how fucking boring everything looks in this game. There is hardly any cool backdrops or levels in this game, everything looks and feels hollow and barren. You would have more fun, creative fights by dunking your hands into your toilet and then slapping your neighbor in the face. Considering that you're playing through a roster of super hero's, I would have figured there'd be some creative/imaginative levels and places to fight. But, again, it follow the lead of everything else in this game and just goes through the most generic fucking path that it can.
Overall, this game is aight. That's about the best thing I can say about it, it's just okay. It's a serviceable game, it doesn't exactly fail in any way, but it never shines either. I don't think there was any passion put into this game, and it really shows. I don't really think I would recommend this game, at least not at the full price. It's honestly the most mediocre, average gaming experience you can possibly have. I would have probably honestly preferred if it was a shit game, it would have been more entertaining probably. If I was looking for a fun superhero game to play, I would give this to a homeless man to wipe his ass and go pick up one of the Rocksteady Batman games instead and just play those.
But, yeah. Hope you enjoyed the review, I know it was a shorter one. But, there's really not much else for me to say here.
Until next time, dood's.