Why blame me?
We see a lot of couples celebrating several years of marriage, 10 years, 20 years, etc. Some people might think that the anniversary that is being celebrated was filled with milk and honey and was just like a bed of roses.
In as much as marriage is sweet, it doesn't change the bitterness that will be felt in between. They are what I call the test of time.
The truth about these anniversaries is that they are celebrating years of faithfulness, tolerance, patience, love, faithfulness, imperfections, and so on like that. This is by the way though.
One thing one should know about marriage is that two people must come together and agree to be one. The Bible has made it clear that a woman must submit to her husband and a man must love his wife. There was no condition attached to this.
Whether or not your husband or a wife is doing right by you, that which God has said must still be fulfilled because there was no condition attached to it. If every couple learns to adapt to this mindset, there would be less conflict in the home.
I mentioned in one of my previous posts a few weeks ago that hubby had to travel to the village for a football competition and obviously after it was over, he spent some time with his family there before returning home.
There is something I noticed in my marriage ever since I and hubby started this journey. For some reasons I'm not sure of, we also have a misunderstanding that gets intense and makes everything with us complicated. Good thing, last December wasn't the same. It was the first time in 5 years that we crossed over to a new year without that usually terrible misunderstanding (I'm grateful to God for that).
Something happened and I would have told myself that it is because of the misunderstanding we had that made things happen that way. Hubby returned with his sister who I learned is in Senior Secondary School 1. I was very happy to see them both, however, there was a sinking feeling inside of me that I can't explain.
Here is the thing, we've been speaking on phone, we did several video call up till the very day he embarked on the journey home and he never thought to tell me that he would be coming with his sister. Not that it's a bad thing, but at least to keep me informed and prepare my mind for it instead of taking me unaware.
I just had to let the thought go and not let it bother me in any way because there was no point in that. I felt disappointed that there wasn't good communication there but I let it go.
Everyone has been fine, and I saw that his sister is well behaved so it made everything much easier. He informed me that she has an interest in learning hairdressing and wig making so I thought, that is nice. Even though I don't have my salon yet, it doesn't mean she can't learn from home so the next thing was to get her materials she would use in learning and I would be putting her through.
Surprisingly, one morning after I dropped my son at school, I received a call from hubby that his sister had left, her bags and his money were nowhere to be found. I was shocked, I had to ask if they disagreed and argued about something. However, because of how upset he was, he responded to all the questions I was asking harshly.
When I finally got to where he was, he had calmed himself a bit, so I had to ask why she behaved that way, was she forced to come here? didn't she agree willingly to come with you? Even though she wanted badly to go back, why didn't she just talk to you about it?
He replied said that it was all my fault, she would be at home and not have gone anywhere if I had just returned faster to teach her the things I planned to teach her after returning home from dropping our son at school.
At this point, this is his problem, I won't even bother myself about it because I was never a part of the plan initially.
The frustrating part is the fact that I'm kept in the dark. According to the summary of all, I've heard so far, the father wants the child to return home so she would continue schooling till she finishes, the mother doesn't want her to return because she feels her husband wants to be sending their daughter on an unnecessary errand according to hubby, the girl wants to go back home but hubby wants her to stay put here with us.
It's annoying that there wasn't a proper plan, hubby's sister told me that she spoke with her dad on phone and she was told that hubby never had a proper discussion about this whole movement with it.
The situation is just frustrating really.
I don't see anything wrong with her staying here or going back to her parent in the village, the main thing is that whatever she needs in whichever place should be staying should be provided.
If she would be here, provisions for schooling should be made, and if would be at her home, the same should be done and whatever issue may be on the ground that prompted the decision of her coming to stay here should be sorted.
Well, I'm just saying all this here, however, I may not interfere in this in reality.
Am I to be blamed?
First Published here
Totally friend. He could told you about it.
You deserve to be informed about bringing someone what to spend time at your home.
It's not your fault.
But submission to husband?! Never. We must respect each other equally.
Stay safe!
Each person is responsible for his or her life and learning process. You are peripheral to her sister and her parents. Important decisions should be made by them. I really don't understand why they are blaming you, maybe they are looking for someone to blame, instead of taking responsibility for their daughter.
Hubby was the only one blaming me.
I'm not sure why he doing that.
seriously, maybe
I am sorry that you have to go through all that surprises and take the blame in the end. None of it was your fault :) I hope that would be ironed out peacefully :)
I hope so too.
The drama is just getting too much.
It's my pleasure.
The drama became much I see well, try to raise above it and concur life.
I did stand the test of time in my marriage ,
Love concurs all
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