ecoTrain Question Of The Week Season 6 #7: How do you feel in this moment?

I almost missed this new QOTW, oops!

I checked @ecotrain community several times last week, and mostly the days before the question was published, but didn't find a new one. Only to discover today that there was a new question, but it was 3 days old already. You forgot to pin it @eco-alex :) but I discovered the new question thanks to the entries people were posting. Nevertheless, I thought I should mention it as maybe others will miss the question while it's not being pinned.

Timing is everything, apparently

It almost feels as if I was meant to miss this new question until today as I have a lot of feelings that are trying to get to the surface today. The previous days I also had some, but it feels as if today is going to be my breaking point if I don't spend some time writing things off or have a good cry to let the emotions out and cleanse the soul.

A lot has changed in the past week

And even though the changes have been positive ones, and good for all of us, it's still change and as long as I can remember, my body reacts to that. Think about when you're moving houses, you are probably very excited as usually you will be happy to move somewhere (exceptions not counted here lol), and maybe even excited to decorate the house etc, but the move itself, even though it's planned thoroughly it will be exhausting. Unless, you're one of the lucky people that has a moving company move the stuff, haha.
Anyway, changes are in my case, always related to a reaction in my body. Maybe you recognize this yourself?

Today I feel...

First, the day started well, yesterday I still had my boyfriend joining me to bring our daughter to kindergarten, I went to pick her up alone in the afternoon. Today I was alone in the morning as well, and I felt quite free while driving her to school. Traffic on the way there was fine, the way back a little crowded but I didn't have any stress. That means that it only took me a few days to feel totally comfortable driving a car again. And yes, I'm proud of myself.

At home I only had about three hours until it was time to pick her up again and I wanted to make the time count. After a breakfast and writing a bit, I felt it was time to start cleaning the house a bit. I had big plans, dusting the place, vacuuming and mopping the floor as well. I first did some laundry (the easy part, lol) and then I took everything from the side in the bedroom cleaning every part bit by bit. Halfway done, I noticed getting up was horrible, and soon pain started to take the overhand. I felt super frustrated as I had set myself a goal, and now knew that I would not finish the tasks as planned. In the end, I only had the big bedroom done.

I feel disappointed that things don't work out and even had to ask my boyfriend to drive picking up our daughter to let my body get into relax mode again. We had a lunch somewhere and this was nice. At home soon frustration started kicking in again as the little one was making a fuzz going to bed for her nap. Every single day, the same situation it makes me pissed by now. (Sorry, just telling the truth!)

Agitation is probably the best word describing the mood between boyfriend and myself today. He's all fed up with his task for this week and I get it, but he's taking it out on me and I'm honestly glad it's weekend so that he can chill. Not enjoying the discussions and arguments at all, so if you're reading: stop it! Haha, enjoy the weekend!

So today was a mix of feelings and emotions

I felt free and proud when driving around this morning, did a wonderful job cleaning the big bedroom, but with a cost: pain! This meant feeling frustrated and sad that I was in pain and could not continue. We had a good lunch and it was enjoyable being out for a while, the weather is lovely! Afterwards some frustrated moments followed by good feelings as well because my boyfriend ended up doing the rest of the rooms. He needed a break from his screen and so he started taking the tasks upon himself. So nice! That made me happy, and his help with dinner as well. My back was hurting so much that I knew this was going to be shit cutting all the veggies, he took the task from me and I only had to spice things up.

While some hours ago, I felt like crying out loud and spitting it all out (frustrations). Now writing things up, I see that it wasn't all that bad, the pain in my body probably made it feel this extreme that I wanted to cry. Today wasn't that bad at all.
And with that I'd like to end this post, this was another good lesson to remind myself of the fact that "writing things off my chest" usually helps to feel a lot better instantly!

Thanks for this week's question, I will read other entries as well and hope everyone has a lovely weekend! <3

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