Hello to all the ecoTrain community, how are you? For me it is a pleasure to be here in a second opportunity to participate in the dynamic of @ecotrain about the question of the week, as I enjoyed sharing with you last time. Now, this week it's about talking a little bit about communication.

Communication in my opinion is one of the most important needs of human beings since we live in society, day after day we relate to each other and we are constantly exposed to a large number of feelings that can even overwhelm us, since within the communication there is a certain transmission of emotions depending on the topic about which we are talking and how it is done, something that can affect our interpersonal relationships... as has been my case on multiple occasions.

I think it is safe to say that many of us have had certain conflicts when communicating with others, for different reasons. In my case, I have come to question too many times for my taste the way in which I get to relate to others, that has caused me endless insecurities in terms of interaction, making it difficult for me to find a middle ground where I feel comfortable. This is because I do not deal very well with conflict, something I have been working on for several years, so when personalities and opinions clash I tend to have a hard time, perhaps much of the blame could be attributed to my anxiety.

To avoid that kind of conflicts, I ended up adopting a complacent attitude that led me to change the way I related to others, and ultimately, how I communicated with others, so for a long time I put my feelings, opinions and needs in the background, to put others first. However, thanks to therapy, I was able to change significantly, improving my interpersonal relationships, as well as my relationship with myself, showing me then the importance of that communication that many times we do not pay attention to in our lives, but that independently affects us.

We all have our own characteristic way of expressing ourselves, even though we find a series of similarities between one and the other, but in my opinion, there are certain elements that should be taken into account for an optimal communication where we can reach an understanding, because if people are not able to make themselves understood among them, the essence of communication is being lost. Unfortunately for me it took me a long time to understand that most of the people I felt insecure when interacting with others, did not respect these points and that is why the communication problems were generated. The importance of highlighting this then, is that taking into account these elements allows us not only to become aware of when we are the ones who are not communicating well to correct ourselves but also when the other person is not communicating properly. At least from my personal experience, it helps a lot to know that the problem is not you but the other person.

Escuchar – Listen

It is difficult -not to say impossible- to communicate with someone if you are not willing to listen to the other person, and that is a common situation in our day to day life. It can happen in several ways, such as when you are trying to express something but they interrupt you time after time without allowing you to speak, that's why I call these people 'monologuists' because rather than having a conversation it seems that you are listening to a monologue on their part. It can also happen that the other person lets you talk, but to their ears what you say is comparable to the buzzing of a fly because they are not really paying the slightest attention to you, who hasn't been there?

In addition to the fact that listening is part of the courtesy we should all demonstrate, it helps greatly in preventing misunderstandings by understanding something other than what the person we are talking to is trying to say.

Tener empatía – Have empathy

It's not all about us, you also have to take into account the other person's circumstances and feelings, put yourself in their shoes a little bit to fully understand what they are truly conveying and why. As someone who has conversed with people who have made no attempt to understand me without judging me, I can say that it is a horrible feeling. But, also as someone who has put the feelings and needs of others before my own, I have to say that you have to be careful with empathy, because there are people who are willing to take advantage, so you need to find some balance.

Respetar al otro – Respecting the other

Respect is one of the fundamental bases not only of communication but of life itself, because if you do not respect others around you it could be said without fear that all the interactions you have will be negative. Keep in mind that because we are all different in some way, our thoughts will not match in most cases on many issues with those we are communicating with, but that does not have to be a reason to disrespect each other, and it is okay to disagree with someone as well as someone not agreeing with us, because diversity is part of the magic of human beings. Incidentally, who would want to talk to someone who doesn't know how to respect when you don't share their opinion?

I can't say that I am the best at communication, but the confidence I have gained in my interpersonal relationships allows me to know that from where I was a few years ago to where I am now is a long way, and the important thing is not to be perfect -because being human beings we will never achieve perfection- but to try to improve every day a little more in how we communicate, in whatever way we communicate, and that just as we set ourselves the arduous task of becoming a little better with the passing of time, we should not be satisfied with surrounding ourselves with those who do not even want to make the attempt.

Thank you very much for reading, I hope you and your family are in good health.