What is Nonviolent Communication

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Non-violent communication goes beyond a communication model, rules or standards. It is a perspective designed to remind us of something we know: the importance of connecting with people, strengthening relationships, listening and respecting your own feelings, without causing pain to yourself or others.


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The goal of non-violent communication is to create and maintain such quality relationships when everyone's needs are met and to help each person remain real, comprehensive, listened to, and understood.

Marshall Rosenberg, created the method of Non Violent Communication. This is a way of exchanging information that helps to peacefully clarify differences and resolve conflicts.

Therefore, he argues that life without aggression and violence is quite possible, both personally and commercially and socially.

The principle of non-violent communication implies a change in the habitual strategy of thinking and behavior in situations of conflict from reactive (response to stimulus) to conscious and understanding.

To do this, he intends to constantly take care of himself and his needs, and in dialogue with people to avoid evaluations and criticism, but pay attention to the facts, his feelings, and the needs of his opponent.

Nonviolent communication rules


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Our conversations often turn into a futile exchange of reproaches. How to avoid this? To be able to see the facts, be aware of our feelings, express our needs, clearly formulate requests, these are the components of the method that helps us find the right words.

It would seem so simple, but more often we get into detailed abstract reasoning and hardly ever talk about how we feel right now.

Having mastered the basic rules of Nonviolent Communication, we will learn to speak so that the interlocutor can listen to us and understand us. And as a result, communication will be effective.

  1. Observation
    Without realizing it, we notice in the behavior of another person what bothers us (annoys, offends). "It is important to view a situation objectively and not evaluate it," says Marshall Rosenberg.

  2. Sensation.
    Ask yourself, "Why does this disorder hurt (this is late)?" Listen to yourself, understand how you feel about the situation, instead of guessing why loved ones are doing that.
    Understanding their feelings means clarifying what is alive in us, "says Marshall Rosenberg," but at the same time letting the other person feel like a subject of relationships.

  3. Need
    "But of course, you can't stop there, because our feelings are hidden behind the needs and values ​​that have brought them to life." - And when someone evaluates us or by his act questions our needs, we respond instantly with a firework of emotions.

  4. Request.
    It is time to ask the person to do it to take into account their feelings and needs, without prejudice to them. Be careful, avoid negative statements: phrases like "I will no longer tolerate clutter in your room!", "Don't you dare be late!" they do not bring a positive result; on the contrary, they increase resistance.

What we say and what our interlocutor hears does not always coincide. Therefore, it is very important to understand if our words have been heard. "And for this you need to ask another to formulate how you understood our request, to express your point of view on the situation, observing the four rules (observation, feeling, need , request).

Source for information:

http://www.naliamandalay.com/la-comunicacion-no-violenta/
https://ismaelcala.com/cuatro-reglas-para-comunicar/
https://www.divulgaciondinamica.es/blog/11-claves-comunicacion-no-verbal-efectiva/



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