Reflection: Feeling Sick in the Age of Covid

A week ago last Thursday night, I started feeling a little bit "off center."

I shook it off, attributing it to some combination of anxiety/anticipation of the weekend's "Virtual Gathering" of the Labyrinth Society, which would include a 12-hour shift as moderator/admin on Zoom, on Saturday.

Could also have been something that "blew in on the wind," since it has very much become fall around here...

Rose in our garden this summer...

Friday...

On Friday morning, I woke up feeling like the proverbial shit; more specifically like I hadn't slept at all, and had somehow encountered an angry horde of Mongolian warriors who'd mistaken me for a piñata. My brain felt like mush and my body was dragging and achy.

When the thought of a big helping of @cosmictriage's delicious chile colorado filled me with dread rather than delight... clearly I had to succumb to the reality that I had caught a "something."

What's more, it seemed like I was getting a pretty good fever going and my "inner wisdom" was screaming at me to just curl up and sleep.

No rest for the weary... remember that 12-hour Zoom shift? Yeah, that.

9:30pm, and I'm in bed and feeling pathetic, marking the beginning of an awful night's sleep.

I'm hot, I'm cold, I'm hot, I'm freezing, I'm sweating, I'm shivering... punctuated by getting up every 90 minutes or so to drink something, and (it seemed) every 90 minutes to go pee.

At about 2:30, it seemed like the fever "broke" and I was at least not burning up, anymore. However, the rest of the night was still restless... until the alarm went off at 5:30. Ugh!

Up and at 'em, Sunny Jim!

It's funny what you think about, in the middle of a restless night, as sickness ravages your body. Maybe I'm just more impressionable than some, but I couldn't help but ponder what was happening. Had I somehow picked up this Covid thing? Would I be tripping the Lights Fantastic, in a few days?

Of course, those were not realistic thoughts, but I was acutely aware that these were things we just didn't think about, a year ago.

Saturday...

I dutifully dragged my saggy butt out of bed, managed to get about half a cup of coffee down, was repulsed by the idea of eating anything... and got myself ready for the day's Zoom events.

7:00am, and my best face on!

Somehow, I muddled my way through the day. Much of the time, I had to catch myself from going to sleep, and if there was an overriding feeling for the day, it was that I just felt ridiculously weak and wanted to sleep.

My half-hearted attempt at "breakfast" consisted of three potato chips and a small amount of apple juice. Mrs. Denmarkguy brought me a plate of salami and cream cheese rolls early afternoon, and I did manage to slowly munch my way through them, although the thought of food in my mouth was mildly disgusting.

We finally "signed off" for the day at a little after 7:15pm, by which time I felt capable of doing little other than sitting still and staring into space. And sleeping.

Dinner was... well, I had to reject the chile colorado again, and ate a few slices of apple and a few tiny bits of cheddar cheese. It also seemed like a milder version of the fever was back, so I took myself to bed at 9:30.

I cannot remember the last time I slept for 11 hours (I think it might have been in college), but I did.

The fever didn't seem to last long, and unlike the previous night, I didn't feel compelled to run to the bathroom, or to the kitchen for a drink all the time.

The only thing I noticed was rather heightened skin sensitivity at times; even the touch of the sheets felt "intense."

Unlike my previous "emotionally unrestful" night, I had no dreams and no swirling thoughts.

Part of the "meadow" in our garden...

Sunday...

On waking up, I felt "about 82% OK" except for the fact that I just felt so weak and like asking me to even move a couple of pillows would be a monumental task.

But I got up, walked around, went through my morning routine, drank some coffee and even ate a little oatmeal with a glass of milk for breakfast.

It was a bright and sunny day outside, but the light from a sun felt so bright it almost hurt my eyes.

In the late afternoon, a two-hour nap in what we call "the sacred room" was thoroughly delightful, but didn't really do a whole lot about the pervasive fatigue. I was just Worn. Out.

As I think back on my life... specifically to about age 28 when I had my last brief relapse of the malaria I had in my childhood... it reminds me a bit of that: Fever and aches for a couple of days and then no other symptoms other than lingering fatigue for about a week.

I also kept getting an intuitive "food poisoning" hit...

Recovery... and Changes

Food remined "weird" for several days. It was not a flavor issue, it was a texture issue. Toast sounded unpalatable, apple sauce appealing. Go figure!

By mid-week I felt OK, but I tired very easily. It wasn't until Thursday — a week after the onset — that I actually felt like I was having a "100% day."

As I write these words — on Saturday night — I pretty much feel like myself again.

However, that is not where it ends. "Something" happened to me; to my body; during this illness. Food... feels different. I find myself craving fruit, yogurt, bread; while fatty/cheesy/oily foods feel mildly repulsive... and this coming from someone who LOVES his fried chicken and Mexican food swimming in cheese!

Oh, and portions. I've always been quite a "big eater," but now I'm quite content and happy with very modest portions.

Abnormal Psychology?

It's strange, how we have been "trained/conditioned" by this Covid and quarantine thing.

Oddly, I'm much more at peace with it, now. Without a doubt, there's a serious illness out there, although chances of getting it are probably much lower than we think.

Somehow — keeping in mind that I have lived with "anxiety issues" for most of my life — I feel less general anxiety than I did, 10 days ago. And that's not just an "impression;" my blood pressure has been consistently down 10-15 points vs. two weeks ago.

I'm just grateful to feel like myself again.

I'm not saying it was Aliens... but maybe it was Aliens...

Thanks for reading, and have a great rest of your weekend!

How about YOU? Have you been ill, since the start of the "Covid issue?" How did that feel to you? Were you ever aware of a "what if it's Covid?" thought at the back of your mind? Comments, feedback and other interaction is invited and welcomed! Because — after all — SOCIAL content is about interacting, right? Leave a comment — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!

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Created at 20201003 22:17 PDT
0118/1345