La conexión más importante para un hijo[ESP][ENG]The most important connection for a child
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Hola mi gente linda y hermosa de Hive, tenia tiempo sin hacer una publicación sobre lo que pienso de la salud mental, para mi se ha vuelto un tema muy importante, hoy quiero compartir con ustedes desde mi punto de vista y experiencia, lo que pienso sobre la relación que tiene la salud mental y la relación padres e hijos.
Hello my beautiful and beautiful people of Hive, I had some time without making a publication on what I think about mental health, for me it has become a very important topic, today I want to share with you from my point of view and experience, what I think about the relationship between mental health and the relationship between parents and children.
Para un hijo las primeras personas que van hacer más importantes en su vida, son sus padres y en primera lugar su mamá, porque fue la persona que lo trajo al mundo, que lo llevo 9 meses en su vientre y es de las personas que mejor lo debería conocer para poder entenderlo.
For a child, the first people who will be the most important in his life are his parents and first of all his mother, because she was the person who brought him into the world, who carried him for 9 months in her womb and is one of the people who should know him best to understand him.
¿Cómo crees que puede afectar la relación que tienen madre e hijo en la salud mental de un hijo? La verdad pienso que es vital poder conectarte con tu hijo, para poder cuidar y proteger su estado y salud mental, y te lo cuento desde mi punto de vista y experiencia porque es lo que me ha sucedido durante mis 30 años de vida.
How do you think the relationship between mother and child can affect a child's mental health? The truth is that I think it is vital to be able to connect with your child, to be able to care for and protect his or her mental health, and I tell you this from my point of view and experience because it is what has happened to me during my 30 years of life.
Todos sabemos que nuestros padres nos aman a morir, y darían la vida por nosotros. Y yo estoy consciente del amor de mis padres hacia mi, porque en lo material y en mis derechos como ciudadana me lo han dado todo, techo, comida, estudios, salud, cuidados paternales, pero cuando nos movemos a ese lado emocional, creo que siempre ha existido una gran carencia.
We all know that our parents love us to death, and would give their lives for us. And I am aware of my parents' love for me, because materially and in my rights as a citizen they have given me everything, shelter, food, studies, health, parental care, but when we move to the emotional side, I think there has always been a great lack.
Yo les puedo decir que una de las cosas que más me ha afectado mi salud mental, mi tranquilidad y mi paz interior, es no poder tener una buena relación emocional con mi madre, siendo sincera nunca he sentido una conexión con ella, y creo que la razón de eso es porque ella nunca ha sabido ser una madre en el lado emocional, nunca ha sabido entenderme, nunca a sabido escucharme, nunca a sabido como me siento en mi lado emocional.
I can tell you that one of the things that has affected my mental health, my tranquility and my inner peace, is not being able to have a good emotional relationship with my mother, being honest I have never felt a connection with her, and I think the reason for that is because she has never known how to be a mother on the emotional side, she has never known how to understand me, she has never known how to listen to me, she has never known how I feel on my emotional side.
Yo jamas he podido confiar en mi madre para contarle cualquier cosa que me pase en mi vida, aprendí que era mejor guardármelo y lidiar yo misma con eso, o peor aun prefiero comunicarme más con las personas que están a mi alrededor, porque he sentido que siempre han estado más dispuestas a escucharme y a darme consejos razonables, tampoco es que tomo en cuenta todo lo que me dicen, siempre he sido muy consciente de discernir entre los buenos consejos y los malos consejos.
I have never been able to trust my mother to tell her anything that happens to me in my life, I learned that it was better to keep it to myself and deal with it myself, or even worse I prefer to communicate more with the people around me, because I have felt that they have always been more willing to listen to me and give me reasonable advice, not that I take into account everything they tell me, I have always been very conscious of discerning between good advice and bad advice.
Siento que si vamos a un profesional un psicólogo o psiquiatra las dos arrojaríamos grandes problemas emocionales, empezando porque a mi mamá no la crió su mamá sino unas tías y ella nunca pudo tener ese amor de madre, y por eso siempre me sobreprotegio mucho, además de que mis padres son personas que viven con muchos tabú, y para mi tener una comunicación con ellos siempre fue imposible, porque para ellos todo era malo. Si tenia dudas sobre temas sexuales en mi adolescencia me regañaban o me preguntaban donde había escuchado yo algo sobre eso.
I feel that if we go to a professional psychologist or psychiatrist we would both have big emotional problems, starting because my mother was not raised by her mother but by some aunts and she could never have that motherly love, and that is why she always overprotected me a lot, besides my parents are people who live with many taboos, and for me to have a communication with them was always impossible, because for them everything was bad. If I had doubts about sexual matters in my adolescence they scolded me or asked me where I had heard anything about it.
Y aun a mis 30 años hablar sobre cualquier tema con ellos es muy difícil, porque son de mente cerrada, eso fue uno de los motivos por los cuales me fui de casa a los 18 años, claro primero me fui a estudiar a otra ciudad, pero amaba mi independencia y la verdad nunca llegaba a sentir necesidad de tener su compañía, luego a los 23 años me fui a caracas a vivir sola por mi cuenta y era independiente y feliz, y tampoco sentía la necesidad de llamarlos o hablar con ellos, porque nunca hemos tenido una buena comunicación.
And even at my 30 years old to talk about any subject with them is very difficult, because they are closed minded, that was one of the reasons why I left home at 18, of course first I went to study in another city, but I loved my independence and the truth never felt the need to have their company, then at 23 I went to Caracas to live alone on my own and I was independent and happy, and I never felt the need to call them or talk to them, because we have never had a good communication.
Pero por cosas de la vida, me convertí en madre a los 28 años y ahora con esta pandemia me tuve que volver a mi casa con mis padres, porque me quede sin empleo y estaba sola en caracas con mi hija y me estaba empezando a afectar mi salud mental y gracias a Dios pude volver para poder contar con su apoyo.
But because of life, I became a mother at 28 years old and now with this pandemic I had to return home with my parents, because I was unemployed and I was alone in Caracas with my daughter and it was beginning to affect my mental health and thank God I was able to return to have their support.
Pero aun puedo decir que la relación con madre es y será imposible, porque su forma de ser es de una persona que no le gusta perder nunca, y siempre le gusta tener la razón, no acepta nuevos aprendizajes, ni nuevas formas o métodos de hacer las cosas, y es algo que me afecta mucho, porque yo ahora soy madre y quiero establecer nuevas enseñanzas a mi hija, muy diferentes a la que me dieron a mi en mi infancia y adolescencia.
But I can still say that the relationship with mother is and will be impossible, because her way of being is of a person who never likes to lose, and always likes to be right, does not accept new learning, or new ways or methods of doing things, and it is something that affects me a lot, because I am now a mother and I want to establish new teachings to my daughter, very different from the one I was given in my childhood and adolescence.
Quiero ser una madre para mi hija de mente abierta, que es capaz de escucharla y entender lo que siente, de no juzgarla por cualquier cosa que me cuenta, porque mi prioridad es que mi hija confié en mi como su primera persona de confianza, con esto no quiero decir que seré una madre que permita el libertinaje, por supuesto que no, yo lo que quiero es proteger la salud mental de mi hija y empezando por entenderla primero, escucharla y orientarla de la manera correcta en la vida, sobre todos los temas de los cuales tenga duda.
I want to be a mother for my daughter with an open mind, who is able to listen to her and understand what she feels, not to judge her for anything she tells me, because my priority is that my daughter trusts me as her first person of trust, with this I do not mean that I will be a mother who allows debauchery, of course not, what I want is to protect the mental health of my daughter and starting by understanding her first, listen to her and guide her in the right way in life, on all issues of which she has doubts.
Pero para mi como hija, mi relación con mis padres es muy distante, yo puedo estar en la casa y ellos en sus cosas en su mundo y yo en el mio, casi no hablamos de nada, tampoco me gusta conversar mucho con ellos, sobre todo con mi madre, porque mi padre si me entiende un poco más, pero mi madre no es capaz de aceptar las nuevas cosas que hay en el mundo, es decir, la nueva forma de ver las cosas en el mundo.
But for me as a daughter, my relationship with my parents is very distant, I can be at home and they are in their world and I am in mine, we hardly talk about anything, I do not like to talk much with them, especially with my mother, because my father understands me a little more, but my mother is not able to accept the new things in the world, that is, the new way of seeing things in the world.
Por ejemplo si yo le digo a mi mamá que comprar una casa no es cara, que no diga que es cara, porque no esta bien utilizado ese termino, ella solo me dice "Que es cara y punto" y es algo que me molesta porque como hija quiero que mis padres mejoren esas formas erróneas de ver la vida, para eso se supone que los hijos estudiamos, para aprender y enseñar también a nuestros padres, además que si mi hija esta cerca de ellos también aprenderá de ellos y esa mala influencia es algo que no me gusta, porque no quiero que influyan en su vida como lo hicieron en la mía.
For example if I tell my mom that buying a house is not expensive, she should not say that it is expensive, because that term is not well used, she just tells me "It is expensive and that's it" and it is something that bothers me because as a daughter I want my parents to improve those wrong ways of seeing life, that is why we children are supposed to study, to learn and teach our parents too, besides if my daughter is close to them she will also learn from them and that bad influence is something I do not like, because I do not want them to influence her life as they did in mine.
Como hija se que los padres se equivocan y no lo hacen por nuestro mal, sino por falta de conocimiento, pero ahora como madre se que todo aquel que es padre o madre, esta en la obligación de estudiar y prepararse para ser un buen padre, me refiero a utilizar las herramientas que tenemos en nuestras manos, los libros, el Internet, hoy en día hay mucha información para poder entender a nuestros hijos y poder tener una sana relación emocional con ellos, que en un futuro no afecte su salud mental. Por eso pienso que la relación entre los padres e hijos es muy importante para su salud mental, pero la gente hoy en día lo ignora.
As a daughter I know that parents make mistakes and they do not do it for our bad, but for lack of knowledge, but now as a mother I know that everyone who is a parent, is obliged to study and prepare to be a good parent, I mean to use the tools we have in our hands, books, the Internet, today there is a lot of information to understand our children and to have a healthy emotional relationship with them, that in the future does not affect their mental health. That is why I think that the relationship between parents and children is very important for their mental health, but people nowadays ignore it.
** Los separadores y cintillo son de mi autoria, para uso exclusivo de Hive.
** Para la traducción utilice https://www.deepl.com/
¡Gracias por su apoyo, por leerme y votar, GRACIAS!
Thank you for your support, for reading and voting, THANK YOU!
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It is wonderful that you have been able to provide for your daughter un a way that your mother could not for you. Becoming a parent does bring with it, more understanding for what it may have been like for our parents. Unless you are able to break certain patterns, you can just continue to parent like them. But you have made a choice to be more present for your daughter and that is great. There comes a time when we just have to accept people for who they are and understand that they may never change, but we can change how we are with them. Thank you for sharing these beautiful insights @dayna199019 xxxxx
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Thank you very much @naturalmedicine for taking into account my story, for me it is very valuable to be able to share it, so that others can understand how important it means for a child, to have a good relationship with your parents and to be able to communicate better and be heard and understood. Certainly there are people who will be impossible to change, and we must also learn to deal with that, so it does not affect our mental health, it is very important for a healthy coexistence.