MIndful Monday - It' really is ME

in The LIFESTYLE LOUNGElast year (edited)

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Hello Steemverse!!

Sorry about missing out on last week. Life has been a bit off lately. Simple things are side tracking me. This usually means it's time to take a step back and clear my mind.

As I mentioned in a previous post that death has been a norm in my life for the past several months. This weekend we had the services for my friends mom who died in December. I was getting ready to head to bed when my mom texted me to let me know my aunt was moved into hospice and is on morphine.

Life carries on. Still running behind, but a least I'll get this out tonight LOL.

UPDATE My aunt passed. Thank you all for the support


With a new year usually comes a re-dedication of sorts. As I have mentioned before we take stock and decide to make changes in our lives, usually for the better. I thought that we'd discuss what mindfulness IS NOT. So many have viewed mindfulness as fad rather than a way of life. I always recommend doing some research so one knows what you are getting yourself into.

What Mindfulness ISN'T

It is not a quick fix
Becoming mindful is pretty much a life long commitment. It is a way of life, not something you turn on and off to suit your need. The biggest part of this to remember is it took you (x) amount of years to get to where you are, isn't only reasonable that it will take around the same amount of time to correct the damage? So it might not take that long, but it is different from person to person.

It is not an escape
No one WANTS to deal with pain of any sort. You would have to be mad to want to put yourself through that. Yet a part of healing is working through the pain. Mindfulness is not a matter of 'Oh let's meditate and our lives will be better.' mentality. It is a practice to help you explore these issues from a better mindset. It is to look at your problems from a more neutral standpoint. To learn to not be so reactionary when it comes to processing trauma or events in your life.

It is not a cure all
While taking on a mindful path you will learn to view things a bit differently, to be more objective rather than subjective. Learning more of an acceptance with events in your own life. It is not going to fix or cure everything that is wrong with you. While we can be mindful about what we eat, being mindful isn't going to make us lose weight. Being mindful is not going to make you quit doing drugs. Being mindful may help you see that drugs is probably not the best path to take.

It is not relaxation
While meditation is associated with being mindful, relaxation is not mindfulness. Learning the process and practices of mindfulness will help you see where relaxation is instrumental in leading a healthier lifestyle. You can still be mindful and still be stressed, overworked, and such.

Whenever we seek to make a change in our lifestyles we have to first have the realization that we are making a life long commitment. Since so many of us are coming into this practice relatively late in life we cannot and should not expect that we will be as mindful as a monk in the ashram, or as mindful as a child that is taught this way of life from birth.

Set forth reasonable goals and have it include a sort of checks and balances to hold yourself accountable. Each day, each moment is a step on this journey. It is not meant to be rushed into. It takes time to heal. It takes time to grow. So today you spilled your coffee, had angry customers and missed lunch. Do you come home and sulk or do you come home and take care of you? You can't go back and fix any of those things, so why would you allow it to invade your private space?

That sounds like a good first goal.

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Good one!
Best to know what mindfulness is not so you can have more clarity of what you are aiming for in being mindful!
Thank-you for sharing this!
Sorry to hear about your aunts passing and your families grief!

Thanks @porters 💜

Best to know what mindfulness is not

That was exactly what I was thinking. We've done a quite a few posts about what it is, felt we needed a bit on what it isn't. Help take away some of the misconceptions.

I've recently looked into mindfullness, having thought it just referred to one's being mindful of others, showing empathy; these kind of things, but I discovered it's also a "movement" now and the movement defines "mindfulness." This has sidetracked me a bit as I feel I need to understand these things and this particular definition of mindfullness, as it goes further.

When I started learning about mindfulness, there was so much on what you have to do. It's been through the weekly posts and meeting people that has helped shape my interpretation. I think it's human nature to try to define things and our wonderful abilities to over think and over analyze that has really confused a lot of people about what mindfulness is or is not.

I think why it's becoming a 'movement' is there are so many are getting tired of the controlling aspects of life especially others telling us how we have to life, who we can like and how to behave. If we don't follow their thinking we're wrong. Along with wanting to have less stress ourselves and just wanting a 'better' life.

This has sidetracked me a bit as I feel I need to understand these things and this particular definition of mindfullness, as it goes further.

This is the reason I started these posts. Help myself better understand different aspects in a way that makes sense to me. It is definitely working.

Never consciously thought of this, it was more from teachings our parents always guided in treating others how you would like to be treated.

Late teens some friends would practice meditation, personally I found peace and solitude in nature walking to school, train stations, work, some did find inner quiet sitting on a mat reflecting or quietening the mind.

Personally to me it is a time of day to do "filing", processing thoughts, feelings, reactions and mentally filing neatly into a method only you will know how to cope with.

treating others how you would like to be treated.

I have always tried to live by this. I guess that is why I have been so good at customer service LOL.

In my younger years I would just go sit on the beach and watch the waves and take in the sounds and smells. Sadly no beaches in Colorado. We have a couple of rivers near by, just haven't found a good place to chill at yet.

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True as there is no such thing as a magic pill that would make it all go away. It takes time. Thanks for laying it all down for us.

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We had a loss 3 months ago but strenght is what we need, so i will send you a box with a little strenght to handle the Greef,
Love britt

So sorry for your losses @tryskele 🙏

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Thanks @wonderwop 💜

There are times and seasons when many around us day my friend and I have found the end of the year to be a prime season for people passing away.
The baggage of the past can either affect us negatively, or help us to improve our futures. Now I don't know much about "mindfulness" and your post here makes a lot of sense, so I wish you well in your endeavors.

Thanks @papilloncharity. You are actually pretty mindful 😊 at least how I see you. You accept when something happens and don't seem to let it take control. You understand the importance of living now, not 10 years ago or 10 years from now.

I’m so sorry to hear about the losses you have experienced, @tryskele. It’s so hard when we lose people who are close, and even harder when it becomes a pattern. It is really great that you have the coping skill of mindfulness and the ability to keep your center even with so much sadness to cope with. I’m sending a wish for strength and resilience, and a wish for you that you can emerge from this with a focus on life and renewal.

Thank you so much @jayna. It really does give you a different perspective on things. Of course the big reminder, life isn't permanent. We should try to be engaged in own rather than let is slip away.

Better mindfulness is one of my goals this year, too. I'm starting with just 15 minutes a day to clear my mind, then growing from there.

Thank you for the pointers, and I hope everything begins to look up for you soon!

That's a great start. Things are fine to be honest. Death is a natural part of life and I fully accept that. It just a little difficult when there are just so many in such a short amount of time. It just changes your thinking a bit.

You seemed to have spoken straight to my heart.
Especially this specific part.
This constantly happen to me so I learnt to take care of myself.
Being far away, if I didn't do that, I think I would fall into darkness long ago.

Do you come home and sulk or do you come home and take care of you?

Glad some of it spoke to you.

Being far away, if I didn't do that, I think I would fall into darkness long ago.

This actually was a large part of my life for a long time. My family is spread all over and not close enough to anyone that I could just go visit for a day or two. Just needed to find other ways of coping with this. Tons of phone calls (obviously) but connecting with others not just in my area but online too. Helps make the world not seem so huge and distant.

Hi. I'm getting to this late as my internet was out all week. So sorry to hear of your losses. Sending prayers your way.

I understand when you say that one can be mindful and still be stressed, etc. I know this to be true.

Thanks for sharing.