As the sun leaves, so the rain arrives. There was no sunshine this morning, only grey skies and showers from the heavens. I took a look out the window, saw the water hitting the glassy surface of the pond, but got dressed and ready for a walk regardless. I had a reason to walk in the rain – my life, because that is what it has become if I am honest. Mornings like today are the best for walking in my opinion – no sun beating down on you, a light rain hitting your skin and a cool mood surrounding. I was enthusiastic, no – excited to hit my feet in repeated pattern on the ground beneath me, plugging my earphones in, making sure they were ready to hear every single word loud and clear along the way, shoved my phone into the safest space I could think of to shelter it from the rain and off I went.
Sometimes, our greatest intentions and anticipations for a particular moment fall short; we are reminded of the stains of yesterday and the reality that their re-appearance was inevitable – a wave we would simply have to ride. Today, I decided not to ride that wave. A knee jerk reaction – yes! One which comes from a life time of, well – living. I walked harder, faster – I was angry, hurt and then numb. I could have walked and never stopped, and I came close. I was thankful for the rain as it drenched me because it hid my tears from the people I passed.
Music pushed me along the way as I began processing what had just happened and the decision I had taken. There are moments in life when everything operates like a symphony… this was not one of them! Every single fibre of my being rejected what had just transpired! My mind argued, but my heart screamed louder – as it does and it won. To be honest, my mind didn’t put up much of fight either. Sometimes there are decisions which we don’t make, they just happen and with as many hills and valleys as they present us, we find ourselves willing to ride them all, because what we get to savour at the end of the road is worth a lifetime of effort and beyond!
Music plays an integral role in my life and today was no exception. As the moment went from being joined to disconnected, a track started playing – not one I had heard before… but I allowed it to play. I put my every energy into the steps forward as my mind worked overtime. There was a determination expressed in the beginning of the track, but also a great level of emotion a little further on – both of these played on my mind as well as my heart and my thought processing. I have already stated which one won – and I am glad it did, because I feel it was a worthy winner, the one I CHOOSE!
Until next time...
Much Love from Cape Town, South Africa xxx
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