I Choose YOU!

in The LIFESTYLE LOUNGE2 months ago

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As the sun leaves, so the rain arrives. There was no sunshine this morning, only grey skies and showers from the heavens. I took a look out the window, saw the water hitting the glassy surface of the pond, but got dressed and ready for a walk regardless. I had a reason to walk in the rain – my life, because that is what it has become if I am honest. Mornings like today are the best for walking in my opinion – no sun beating down on you, a light rain hitting your skin and a cool mood surrounding. I was enthusiastic, no – excited to hit my feet in repeated pattern on the ground beneath me, plugging my earphones in, making sure they were ready to hear every single word loud and clear along the way, shoved my phone into the safest space I could think of to shelter it from the rain and off I went.

Sometimes, our greatest intentions and anticipations for a particular moment fall short; we are reminded of the stains of yesterday and the reality that their re-appearance was inevitable – a wave we would simply have to ride. Today, I decided not to ride that wave. A knee jerk reaction – yes! One which comes from a life time of, well – living. I walked harder, faster – I was angry, hurt and then numb. I could have walked and never stopped, and I came close. I was thankful for the rain as it drenched me because it hid my tears from the people I passed.

Music pushed me along the way as I began processing what had just happened and the decision I had taken. There are moments in life when everything operates like a symphony… this was not one of them! Every single fibre of my being rejected what had just transpired! My mind argued, but my heart screamed louder – as it does and it won. To be honest, my mind didn’t put up much of fight either. Sometimes there are decisions which we don’t make, they just happen and with as many hills and valleys as they present us, we find ourselves willing to ride them all, because what we get to savour at the end of the road is worth a lifetime of effort and beyond!

Music plays an integral role in my life and today was no exception. As the moment went from being joined to disconnected, a track started playing – not one I had heard before… but I allowed it to play. I put my every energy into the steps forward as my mind worked overtime. There was a determination expressed in the beginning of the track, but also a great level of emotion a little further on – both of these played on my mind as well as my heart and my thought processing. I have already stated which one won – and I am glad it did, because I feel it was a worthy winner, the one I CHOOSE!

❤❤❤

Until next time...
Much Love from Cape Town, South Africa xxx
Jaynielea

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Don't worry about a drop of rain whilst you can move your body do so and enjoy it. Im disabled, i would love to take my dogs for a walk, do things i took for granted. Enjoy it while you can :)

No words. <3 You are so right! xxx

💕 @Jaynie
stay safe in the land of ZAR

Undy

Always :) and thank you!

I'm sorry you had such a terrible experience and what should have been that moment you anticipated and longed for was skewed and distorted into something quite different.

With rain comes life though and whilst it mingled with your tears maybe it also helped to dilute the anger and hurt and helped to bring feeling instead of numbness. Maybe it allowed that sprout of thought to emerge in your heart and nurtured it for the battle it would have with your mind, the battle your heart and mind would both find common ground on.

My mind argued, but my heart screamed louder – as it does and it won. To be honest, my mind didn’t put up much of fight either. Sometimes there are decisions which we don’t make, they just happen and with as many hills and valleys as they present us, we find ourselves willing to ride them all, because what we get to savour at the end of the road is worth a lifetime of effort and beyond!

"Decisions we don't make, they just happen." Thankfully yes, and this from a generally pragmatic man. Fortunately your heart and mind got into it then conspired together to move you forward and I'm not surprised in the least to hear that music was involved. It is you after all.

I'm going to be a little forward and ask what the track was; It seems it was a pivotal factor in the heart-mind battle and so I'm curious. Of course, I know how personal these things can be sometimes, especially in moments like this, personally challenging and enlightening, so feel free to decline to answer.

It seems something valuable and precious came from what could have been a life-changing moment. Sure, maybe not a symphony when seen in isolation, but as a whole...Well, maybe a beautiful composition nonetheless, one that will keep playing into the future. Thank goodness for heart and mind battles.

it also helped to dilute the anger and hurt and helped to bring feeling instead of numbness. Maybe it allowed that sprout of thought to emerge in your heart and nurtured it for the battle it would have with your mind, the battle your heart and mind would both find common ground on.

Spot on!

I'm going to be a little forward and ask what the track was; It seems it was a pivotal factor in the heart-mind battle and so I'm curious. Of course, I know how personal these things can be sometimes, especially in moments like this, personally challenging and enlightening, so feel free to decline to answer.

I do not have any objection in sharing that with you, although I will say again... not something I had ever heard before and in addition... listening to it since, it lacks the impact it had in that moment... but, it counted and compacted when it counted, and for me - that is all that matters. Truth be told, there were two. In respective order:

Thank you Jaynie, for sharing.

Yeah, I've had that too when in a particular moment a track impacts greatly and then later not so much, or differently. Music is powerful huh?

Sure is.

Just wondering if you’ve got the song “You Say” by Lauren Daigle on your playlist? It’s pretty incredible. You’re stronger than you think. 😘

OMG her VOICE!!!!! Incredible!!!!!! What a BEAUTIFUL song!!!!!!! Thank you - it was NOT on my playlist, but it IS now! xxx

I’m so glad you like it!!! It’s brilliant!

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