So That Was Christmas... Lost Motivation and Other Bits
Well, we had a Christmas, of sorts. It was a very quiet one, subject to the state/local edict of no more than eight persons gathered, and if you're having visitors here, you'd be well advised to make sure they are local and not from one of the high infection areas.
It wasn't exactly a white Christmas, although it did snow a bit on the day of the Solstice, and a few tiny patches remainded on Christmas day... what we like to call "Designer Snow" around here.
Mind you, I'm quite OK with a quiet Christmas. Most of our Christmases when I was a kid were pretty quiet because my dad was pretty much a misanthrope.
I had to go to the supermarket today for assorted sundry items and took a little extra time to drive around and take pictures of various "stuff" simply because I could, and because I have always rather enjoyed the quiet that comes in those in-between days between Christmas and January 2nd.
Hummingbird enjoying a COLD drink...
Searching for my Lost Motivation
Now I am sitting here at one in the aye-em, tapping away at the keyboard while searching for my lost motivation.
If there's one thing I have experienced as a "side effect" of this whole Covid circus it's a subtle subtext of "meh" around most things; a deep sensation of indifference in most situations.
I think what made me tired — and has been making me tired for some months — is this reality that I am working more than usual and the result if fewer/less results than usual. After a while of dealing with diminishing returns, you find yourself bumping into a wall, of sorts.
I remember way back in the when, when I was a technical writer in the IT field, right as the whole idea of "working by email" and "global outsourcing" was becoming a thing.
The pond in winter
As an independent contractor, I watched my income go from $30/hr to $25/hr to $20/hr... and eventually I just ended up throwing in the towel around $12/hr because my competition had become people with English degrees from British and American universities who were living in places where $600 a month was considered a "good salary." And my rent was $750...
Was I still working and earning "something?" Absolutely! the main experience was that it was demotivating to watch a skill I'd busted my butt to develop become... worthless.
I'm starting to feel a little bit like that, right now...
What it all brings to mind is the (sad?) reality that we pretty much all do things contingent on a reward. Sometimes, that reward can be intangible... but intangible rewards don't pay the rent!
Winter branches
I certainly enjoy things like blogging and creating art, but like a great many people in this country (and others) I can less and less afford to spend time with things that don't involve monetary compensation of some substance.
It's all a matter of priorities.
Had one of my long message "conversations" with one of my cousins back in Denmark, earlier in the week... as always, it involved (American) politics and a fair bit of humor on account of same... but there's enough material there for an entire (undoubtedly inflammatory) post by itself!
And with that, I am going to head off to bed. Thanks for reading my incoherent ramblings, and have a great rest of your weekend!
How about YOU? How was your Christmas? How's your motivation level, in the era of Covid? Comments, feedback and other interaction is invited and welcomed! Because — after all — SOCIAL content is about interacting, right? Leave a comment — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!
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Created at 20201227 01:40 PST
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Many are feeling deflated, down in the dumps, this last year one has been forced everyone to face realities in many various ways. Watching your earnings slip, worrying how to readjust to make ends meet.
Avoiding contact in crowds has not been one, being unable to go to certain places did start becoming a nagging problem in parks and beaches.
Hopefully soon this nightmare will end, glad to hear you had a pleasant enough Christmas, now to wait and see what the new year ushers in.
@tipu curate
Upvoted 👌 (Mana: 23/48) Liquid rewards.
It's hard to stay upbeat and enthusiastic in a world where most of what we try to do basically leads to pretty much nothing.
I certainly hope that 2021 will bring in something more positive, or — failing that — at least something more known and stable.
Only place I find some normality is outdoors of late, sit in front on my keyboard with plenty ideas, no coherent sentences follow with my mind all over the place...
Hive has offered a place to settle knowing most are feeling similar effects. Younger folk trying to make a living during these times, finding something to do is becoming a struggle.
Yes hopefully 2021 offers something more familiar and stable.
My Christmas wasn't very Merry either. I normally find a way to make it fun, but admit it fell pretty flat this time. The heart of it normally is the grand gathering of family and the holiday feasts and goodies you normally only see at the holidays. I did bake and spread some holiday treats around, but it was nowhere near the same.
"meh"
I agree. I haven't lost my finances though, I was one of the lucky ones that got to bring my job home. I know I have a lot to be thankful for, all the same, the Christmas dud still wanted to pull me down.
I suppose that is normal for what all is going on though.
Hope it gets better your way.
Seems like a lot of people I have emailed/messaged with haven't had particularly bad holiday seasons, most just indifferent ones.
We certainly had a lot of good food here, and we're still enjoying that! We did several family Zoom sessions, which had to be the "make do" option this year... and I guess we can call that better than nothing.
I'm rather done with the financial worries, though... when you're already operating on a tight budget, losing 20-30% of your income isn't exactly comfortable. Meanwhile, our insurance, electric bill and property taxes are all going UP in 2021... and with a couple of our other bills (phone, Internet) the companies have announced that they are "helping in tough times" by NOT having a price increase! How about a price DEcrease, instead?
I'm definitely happy for you that you still have your job!
Thanks for stopping by, and for the good wishes!
Malaise? Ennui? I'm not sure what word describes the vague depression funk that seems to pervade everything and infect everyone after 9 months of COVID insanity.
The knee-jerk reactions back in March and the doubling down all summer have had severe effects economically and psychologically, but no one wants to acknowledge it. Instead, those of us who raised questions are blamed now that the entirely predictable winter spike has hit. Everyone is on edge, and the noisiest people are demanding either a total quarantine lockdown or open revolution.
Finding calm and motivation is no easy thing in such trying times as we try to sort the wheat from the chaff on social and mainstream media alike.
My friend who's also a therapist says they actually use the phrase "Covid Fatigue" in the mental health field. It's not exactly depression or anxiety; more like a tiredness that comes from having to remember and think ahead with pretty much everything we do, and frequently discovering that Covid has either changed or prevented our normal preferences from coming to fruition.
Yes, it's funny how often it was in the news that the pandemic would potentially die down during the summer, only to come back up in the late fall and winter... and ta-da, here we are, and everyone has conveniently forgotten that message from back in the spring.
I think the "limbo effect" is taking its toll... too many people just waiting and seeing rather than making resolute decisions based on assumptions they choose, and then moving forward. That was one of the things I was mulling over, yesterday: getting to simply deciding that we will probably be in some kind of lockdown till the end of 2021, and then moving forward as if that's a FACT rather than feeling immobilized by "yeah, but what IF...?"
And the constant drain from the "why are you worried at all, COVID is a complete hoax" crowd and the "if you don't hide at home in a HAZMAT suit and starve to death waiting for government handouts, you will kill gramma" crowd