Psychology: Making A Difference, Persevering, Hardship and Staying Positive
Well, NO, this is not a post about "Life in the Age of the Coronavirus," although the title might suggest that.
That said, one of the challenges we often face in life — in general — is that of how to remain positive and persevere in the face of not only hardship but also the pervasive sensation that no matter how much we do and how hard we work, it makes no difference in the world, let alone in our own lives.
Does That Actually HAPPEN?
Well, yes and no.
To some degree, we can become victims of our own perceptions, even if they are somewhat misguided. We also have a tendency to "inflate" our personal sense of how much difference we can make, to an extent that's not particularly realistic. And then we end up feeling inadequate because we think we're coming up short.
I think of that as the "Cure for Cancer Syndrome," i.e. the misguided idea that our efforts make no difference in the world UNLESS our contribution is as "significant" as coming up with the definitive cure for cancer.
We forget that if we just made the life of one person better today, we actually — in our own small way — made the world a better place.
Don't be Shitty!
Mrs. Denmarkguy talks to a lot of clients in the course of a year, and one of the pieces of advice she often dispenses is quite simple: "Don't Be Shitty!"
Perhaps that sounds like Psychology 101, but it's rather amazing just how many people wander through life being "inadvertently" shitty to those around them... for no greater reason than being excessively focused on their own hardships and therefore claiming to not have any bandwidth left over to treat other people decently.
Nobody's asking you to be Mother Teresa, just suggesting that you take three seconds to think about what you're doing, before you (re)act. Does it really contribute anything worthwhile to flip someone the bird when they cut you off in traffic? Does it really make things any better to yell at the FedEx driver because a package you were expecting took three days instead of two to get to you?
Yes, It's All Wearing a Bit Thin...
So yes, there is going to be a little mention of "the age of Covid," in the sense that we've all grown tired and weary of this whole circus.
For many people, it hangs like a gray cloud over their psyches. Some become irritable and angry, some become depressed.
But isn't that actually more reason to not be an asshole? We're all doing the best we can here!
Thanks for reading... and BE KIND!
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Created at 20201008 23:07 PDT
0122/1349
I feel the Hive New Network, spotlight, swinging in your direction....
Well... allrighty, then. I guess sometimes I just get tired of all the moping. And lord knows I do my own fair share, so I'm a fine one to talk...
...it was so a long ago that I commented - I forgot what it was that inspired me to say it in the first place!..lol
I'll have to have go have a re - read...
Everyone's allowed a mope ...now and again...
This is wonderful and perhaps should have been a #thoughtfuldailypost (tag by @wesphibin) 🙂
Ohhhh i´m blushing hahahahaha good to see you liked the banner.😍
Yes, I love the banner! Wes was so excited about your great design, and I fell in love with it, too! Great job and it was so sweet of you to do that for him! ❤️
😍😘😊For me it was an honor, always at the order!
Thanks for the kind words @thekittygirl! Yanno, I forget about that tag... and I forget about just how many cool initiatives we have here.
Thanks for the support... I appreciate it!
Yes, people get mad at the world and treat others like crap just because.
They think I am in a shitty mood so I will make everyone around me have a shitty day also, so they feel like me.
So much negativity in the world right now, it would be so much better if people look at the positive side and be just a little more optimistic in their life.
There's definitely something to that old "misery loves company" saying. But the problem with spreading negative vibes around is that nobody actually ends up feeling any better! It's like reaching for a lower common denominator, rather than a higher one...
Yes, The bar gets lower and lower every day.
You know what? Sometimes I need that asshole reminder. Just to keep me sailing in front of the wind...
Don't be shitty. Excellent advice under all circumstances.
I CAN (if only I will) control my attitude and outlook. It makes a huge difference.
Thanks for an eloquent reminder of our place in our time. I appreciate it.
I remember when I was a kid, learning from the adults about "counting to ten" when you felt like you were about to lose it over something.
I rarely do because nature has generally blessed me with a very long "fuse."
That aside, sometimes we don't have any say in what happens but we do have a choice in how we respond to it.
I would combine two things you expressed in this article: "don't be a shit (or stop being so) one person at a time. The fact is that by proposing to treat others well and better one person at a time, the world would be much better. Definitely, you can only lack willingness.
Thanks for this great article. I had no choice but to share it.
Por aqui paso | El Comentador |
Thanks for the share and the nice words @garybilbao!
Yes, you could easily combine the two... and I think it emphasizes the important point that we can get a long way towards creating a better world in which to live, simply by making small changes.
Yes! This advice is spot on. I've been mostly not an asshole during all these shitty times. Have had a couple breakdowns and I hope I've been forgiven.
I figure since I'm not perfect, I better be able to let go of transgressions from others as well.
Your wife's remarks remind me of an old bumper sticker.
You could replace the word drink with plenty of other terms. 🙂👍
Fore sure, yes... you could substitute in "drink." And I say that from experience... my mother was a (barely) functioning alcoholic... 🙃😁
I'm not claiming any sort of perfection on the not-being-an-asshole front, but at least I try my best to maintain awareness!
Love the post! We all need a reminder once in awhile not to be shitty. 😄
Thanks! I think we all get so busy and have so many things on our plates that we get caught in our little trances of busy-ness and forget to breathe. And so, we end up snapping at people who don't deserve it, at all.
I think you mean emotional intelligence. And i can´t agree more with you... we can't go through life throwing negative things at others, we must learn to control ourselves, to breathe as many times as necessary and not give an opinion if you are not going to say something critically constructive or something good... and as i always say, if we go around throwing shit, shit we are going to get.
Well, yes @tripode I'd agree that emotional intelligence is very important. I'd say most of us possess it, but the more stress we're under, the harder it becomes to remember/access it. And these days? A lot of people live in a state of constant worry and stress about illness, jobs, money and what have you.
And yes, if you go around slinging shit, chances are you'll get a faceful of slung shit. It's a simple thing: The world tends to give us back precisely what we put into it. So being mindful of what we put out there is definitely important...
Yeahh this whole covid situation has us all stressed out and many with depression, it's a big problem. And it's going to take time to recover.
I fear it will take a long time... because it wouldn't surprise me if this thing stays with us till maybe the middle of 2021. And then we have to get to a point where people are no longer afraid of the next figurative "10,000lb brick" is going to fall on their heads.
The hangover we are going to have after the virus passes is going to be worse... a long time to recover.
Very nice reminder of what matters on this earth. Thanks
Maybe it's just a product of getting older... but it really does matter to stop and smell the roses, and to not get wound too tightly over little stuff that annoys us.
I believe that life is simpler if we are empathetic to everyone around us, whether human or animal. But that is taught from home and not learned in any social setting. Hugs!
Indeed! And interesting that you bring up animals, as well... I always ponder the real truth of those who portray themselves as really nice and yet they are mean to animals.
In truth, I think a lot of social settings — and particularly social media — teach people bad manners rather than good ones!
Just think if everyone did this everyday. What a wonderful world it would be. The smallest of kind gestures could change an individuals entire perspective for the positive. I have been blessed to have this happen to me. It's a beautiful thing 😊
It's interesting just how much small gestures can mean @bdmillergallery. A quick story:
Many years ago, I lived across the street from a large supermarket... and I would go shopping late at night when it was quiet. There was a young woman working there as a cashier, and we became "friends" of sorts... and I noticed how people — particularly older people — would deliberately get in her line, even when it was longest. And then I noticed that when she would hand someone back their change and/or receipt, she'd gently hold their hand for a couple of seconds.
I eventually asked her about it... and she said "Most of these older people live alone, and are quite lonely... the couple of seconds I touch their hand may be the ONLY physical touch they experience for a WEEK." It was a very tiny thing... and yet it was huge.
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STOP"We forget that if we just made the life of one person better today, we actually — in our own small way — made the world a better place."
I try my best to live by this philosophy and to also find the fortitude to walk away and not be triggered by someone who wants to spread the smelly stuff around. I think in many ways ... on some days ... that can prove much more difficult.
Loving those leaves on snow shot ... beauty-ful.
Thanks @prydefultz! I use all my own photos for my posts... and have since the start (the "start" being my first blog, in 1999), but it's always nice to know that people see and appreciate the images!
I think it may be harder to "just walk away" these days than it has ever been... and yet, I find myself gradually reaching a place where I find so much to be almost farcical that I end up laughing more often than I get grumpy.
That's my philosophy, be kind to everyone you meet as we don't know what they're personally going through or have had to deal with; a little kindness can crack the hardest nut!
Lovely post and much needed in the world we live in; your images are stunning @denmarkguy, especially that first one!
Thanks @lizelle, you're exactly right... we don't know what sort of day someone we feel is being a buttwad has had.
I recently had to call tech support for my Internet... and the rep I was talking to was working from home (because of Covid), had a cold and was wrangling three kids under 10 while trying to do her job. She didn't need me being a grumpypus at her just because my service wasn't working...
Great post, reminded me of a tweet from a gamedev on a similar thought several months ago.
Being living things it's just a little bit too easy to accidentally depress ourselves and misfire on everything innocent around. We all need this reminder from time to time.
Thanks!
And oddly enough, I had a great reminder when our Internet went out for five days, the day after I posted this. I navigated customer service calls, technicians and a service call without getting even slightly frustrated with anyone... indeed, we don't need to go off on everyone around us, every time we encounter a difficulty.
I love this plant so much